LETTERS FROM A CONCUBINE/WHORE PART 4, THE LONELY FAKE CLUB, RELIGIOUS OR SECULAR THEY BOTH STINK

Letters from a Whore/Concubine

I ended yesterday's post with two videos, both which are secular and kind of dark.  I thought on this last night, this morning, been talking [I don't pray, I talk] to Jesus about it and sorting through a lot of religiousity and truth-lies, to be Real or Fake because to be Real can mean being a stumbling block, and then I thought on that and why it makes me so angry, so pent up inside...always being self-policed or policing Others, which is all that comes out of that whole self policing trying to be Holy thing...

and He, and I am starting to believe that the inner voice because I do question it, I do check the Word daily, all the time, I do pray about it, I do ask if it's Him or myself or the dark forces, so I'm starting to tell somewhat the difference, between them all, because His will always come back, with Scripture, a revealing...even in the midst of Doubts or when what He tells me is So contrary to religious doctrines, or the Word through a religious-Law lens, those I hate the most because they are so wrapped up in Guilt and Fear, to totally go contrary to what we've been TOLD a verse means, is Really hard.  Because when one gets into the whole spiritual lens, it seems mystical, pagan like, and we've been so bombarded with the whole demonization of anything Remotely that looks like paganism, that we immediately shun it, as of 'the devil' or 'the world'....so we shut ourselves up, from I think, a deeper seeing, into what Jesus was really saying...

one thing I've noticed, is that the religious law lens, always produces two things, Fear and Inner Loathing.  It does NOT produce Grace or Love, especially for others because the religious law lens sees always good-evil, so like, everything is measured by is this God or is this Devil, and check, check, check, and it's these Boxes, Don't do this, it might make This Christian think you're not good, you are NOT living up to the Christian Standard, the Demand in the Bible...Don't to that, this is evil, Don't do this, this is evil, That person said so, This person said so, next thing you know, EVERYTHING, YOU DO OR DON'T DO, IS ONE BOX, ANOTHER BOX, ANOTHER BOX, AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,

YOU GOT TEN BOXES ALL TELLING YOU DIFFERENT THINGS AND YOU, YOU DON'T EXIST ANYMORE, YOU HAVE NO INNER VOICE, YOU HAVE NO INNER ANYTHING, JUST ONE BIG POLICE OFFICER INSIDE YOUR HEAD SAYING,

CHECK, CHECK, CHECK, CHECK, CHECK...AND THEN, THE MOST INFURIATING PART ABOUT THIS, IS THAT THE OTHER POLICE OFFICERS, WILL TREAT YOU LIKE SHIT, LIKE YOU'RE A DAMN LEPER BECAUSE YOU CAN'T MEASURE UP, YOU CAN'T TRANSFORM YOURSELF INTO THE PERFECT LITTLE 

ROBOT.

And if you're a woman, a ROBOT WHO FUCKS ON DEMAND, WHEN HER HUSBAND SAYS SO BECAUSE BY GOLLY YOU ARE TO SUBMIT...JOYFULLY,

and all that other crap.

It's no wonder, after a while doing this, the Relationship [the joke] between you and Jesus, becomes one of total resentment, fear, and a lot of dead lip I love you Lord when really, deep inside, You want to run away so much and think, I really am NOT thrilled about Heaven because it probably Sucks.  Oh yea, I've been there to this place,

and I hated it.  It was when I was getting back into this place [I had been in Christianity when I was young for short while, left when I saw the hatred of so many Christian, this was back in Bible Belt, Taliban land American Style] that I was GLAD I had lived a life of rebellion and sin, Sad, huh, but TRUTH, ok, I hated it at the same time, because of what I did to God, but then, I loved it, because it Did free my mind, just a bit, to see through the BULLSHIT, OF RELIGIOSITY.   Because, men especially, were doing the same EXACT SHIT, I DID AND HAD DONE TO ME FOR YEARS, AND IT WAS O.K. FOR THEM BECAUSE WHY THEY WERE THE 'APPLE OF GOD'S EYE' and see enough of that and you begin to think,

what gives here?  So, God dealt with  the 'rebellion nostalgia' part of me and I brought to Him, that I wasn't Going to be some Fake Robot anymore and I wanted Answers...and it was then, that He said something to me about TRUTH.  For the past year, God has been showing me, in His Light, the difference between TRUTH AND LIE.    What Shocked me, was when I realized, God didn't WANT religiosity from me, nor lies of 'oh say what you're Supposed to say' because it's Sin if you are Honest.  So, I started to do that...slowly at first because I was afraid, but I did, and the shocking thing was, I started seeing MORE lies, everywhere, including my own self/life and Boy, I'm talking one big Lie fest.   Lies are Hiding the Reality, the Realness, of YOU.  Lies are being afraid.....Lies are pretense, and Lies, are doing things you really don't Believe in Just because someone told you, that you were Supposed to.  Even if, you do All the right religious things, IF you don't want to do them, guess what, those are Lies...

because it's the INNER HEART, THAT GOD WANTS, NOT THE OUTWARD SACRIFICES OF APPEARANCES.

This is Why we don't Love, because all the Love we know, usually is just the lies of appearance.  We also are not truthful when we Use people, Oh yea, when we are Loving someone for Utility, to ADMIT THAT, is kind of freeing because then God can take you into that TRUTH PLACE, what I call it, and begin to talk it out and you start to see a whole lot more of what lies behind all that.  The Minute you do the Oh God I Repent and try to Force yourself, guess what, LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE  bell goes off,

and you know something, it's like what the Whore sees, it's all one big ACT, and we know, behind the surface, the only thing the man wants is a good squirt.  Oh yes, blunt, ugly, BUT TRUTH.  How many times do WE do all the right things so that God will bless us, and really, we don't want to, we are Lying, and like the John, we're just after one big squirt.  And yet we think God is fooled...

See that's the TRUTH about religiosity and trying to Live Holy when WE ARE NOT HOLY.  IF we could be Holy in ourselves then God wouldn't need to Forgive us, Jesus wouldn't have had to Die for us, to Save and Redeem us...if WE could be HOLY.   The KEY There is TRYING, to live Holy,

once you are TRYING, YOU BET, YOU'RE LYING.  It's So much easier to say to God, I don't want to but You want me to so Why, and Why is it I don' t want to and I'm sorry but I guess I need change here and keep talking and you know, I can't explain it but HE begins to work INSIDE YOU...but one thing I've noticed, when HE does it, it's not this do such and such, but more like, What this thing you do, how it Hurts someone else, and the legacy of the sin and how it's poison and THEN you start to see things from a whole different light....It's NOT overnight, it's a process, I think this is what sanctification really is.   And for me, it's been about being real, being honest, including Sins that I am still in, or struggling with, some of them not really wanting to let go of and I am Honest about that to God because I know I need HIS deliverance, being able to be Honest with how sometimes I don't agree with Him and Wresting those things out, He always WINS of course, because I have found, HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT, though at times I have told Him, that that irks me to no end, it's unfair that HE always has the upper hand, LOL, then HE gently instructs me that HE is my maker, not my micro-control freak and HE just has this way of explaining things to me...that I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN FROM RELIGIOUS FOLKS.  What's even more surprising, but nicely so, is how much, when HE tells me, is So contrary to Man's Doctrines of Religiosity.  

There is something Freeing about coming to God and saying,  "I'm a liar, or I don't Love, or I don't want to love this person this person is an asshole, sorry I know you Created that person but I think they are mean, because THEY ARE MEAN, but I know YOU love them because YOU died for them, for all of us when WE WERE UNGODLY, [Romans] so, ok God, Help me here...and it doesn't come immediately, and yes, there are times, most times, I have to fight that inner what I call, the her demon, or serpent, I kind of see her, in my imagination, and I have to also see the 'angel me' and then the war is on...I've switched from sword to guns in my imagination because I told God, hey, guns are easier, swords are cool and all but it's just a lot easier to see my angel me shoot that ole serpent...and for some reason, that ole serpent me tends to die easier...though there are always numerous others that pop up but the angel me, with Jesus, is starting to get stronger.  On Some things....one thing I have learned, is that the Second you think, you got it, Ha Ha, oh boy, there's another dark forest, another dark region, and they can creep up on you like no other.

I don't worry so much about Satan out 'there' as much as I worry about the Satan 'in here', the heart, the mind, oh yea....that's the one that can be So hidden, that can be So masked with oh, mentally Knowing the Godly things, and Oh thinking, yea this, that, and then later you see, it was the Liar all along just Acting Godly...

you got to really watch that one.  Pride too, boy that oh I'm so good pride, that Oh did you see that, I did it, the always wanting love because hey, I did good, I asked God about that, why I always want to be good?  It's because we really deep inside, don't believe or understand God's Love for us....this I think, is the most difficult thing, especially when knowing, as a Whore, how unloved you really are.  You live life, believing when you see Love, or you Think it's Love, only to find out, it's just you being squirted into.

Yea, sorry to be so blunt there but hey, and one can be Married, and still, just be a Whore...I think a lot of women deep down know this, but to Admit it, is really hard because it just rips so much, anyway, I'll get more into that another time...it's not where my heart is leading today.

So, on this thing about the Lonely Fake Club...well, the thing about Lies, the thing about being squirted into or squirting into others, the Utility, of people, oh yea, to MEET A NEED, is that, it's really Lonely, because there is no Connection, at all.  It's all hiding, it's all pretense, it's all saying the right things, so you think, those might change with each Box that you are put into, just like a Whore will change her mannerisms, voice, movements depending on what the John, man, husband, boyfriend, stranger, sugar daddy etc., wants....those BOXES, the playing the LIE, to be liked, accepted, loved maybe, fixed, cured, soothed, obeying, complying, fearful, DEAD.

So in the Lonely Fake Club you really have the Boxes of Deadness....that's why it's lonely.  Going back to the not being a stumbling block, the do this, don't do that, I was thinking on the videos yesterday and the first self policing Guilt I felt, was "you know those are kind of dark, they might be either offensive OR they do not Glorify God" because they are not Christianese.  And they will turn off Christian readers...

back Into the Box...first I wrestle with that then I wrestle with God and with darkness and so all last evening I am wrestling, and then it dawned on me...maybe what I should have done is explain Why those two videos have meaning...

so I will.

The first video, the one of the movie Underground [yesterday's post], which I saw all the movies, I tend to like those good kicks evil's ass type of movies, anyway, Yea I know the demonic things in it, I'm not stupid...yea it sure as heck represents dark angels, no doubt about it...no argument from me there.

But here's what I take from that, OK, so you know, in case there Is someone who would be caused to sin, alright, one thing, that Did turn me off about the movie was the graphic violence, it was kind of unnecessary and I thought, gross.  It was not one of the movies that I came away with and liked, it kind of sickened me, a lot, I liked the zombie movies much better, the one with girl on the motorcycle that blows the zombies away, LOL, yea, that one, can't recall the name...I also liked Ultra Violet Far better, that's an awesome movie BTW,

but I chose this video, which music by NIN whom yea I do love NIN, they hit on a lot of TRUTH, alright, about a lot of things, it doesn't bother me to listen to heavy or industrial music because I know when to turn it off, I know and can sense if it's having that dark pull, I also see through the subtle messages, in a lot of it, now there Is some secular music I just Won't listen too, I just kind of know what I can and what I can't, I don't do the blatant satanic or misogynist or sexual, some music I think is just total crap.  I'm a lyric person, always have been, I don't do the whole bands thing, it's Songs I look at.  Why I like the I-Pod [though hate the industry/due to Congo and electronic dumping] and computer, I can pick and choose songs without having to be stuck weeding through the ones I can't stand.

Anyway, Too much info, LOL, but this video/song, we Do have those forces in the world, the spiritual darkness, that Paul spoke of, they Do exist, to Fight evil, be it through religion or secular [activism] there is a real fine line, to be touched by evil, one can be taken Over by it...the thing about fighting evil, being touched evil is that it gets inside you, and it Can take you over and before you know it, You are evil too....that's the thing about the line in the song, every day it's just the same, no love and no pain.  Evil takes 'feeling' away, it takes love away, the Key to fighting Evil,  is LOVE, it is a war that is LIFE AND DEATH,

spiritual LIFE AND DEATH.  It is ETERNAL, those vampires and wolves are eternal creatures, they cannot and do not change...they are fixed in that, they have no feeling, and when You fight evil, without God in you, without God's POWER, you lose, that much I do know, because that Source of evil, that is in those creatures, is in the power of Sin, that nature.  It is in us, just like in that woman, she could go Either way, to her Wolf side or to the Love, she had to Fight, to get to the Love because she had lived so long as a Wolf.  It was in her blood, so to speak, the young man, whom she fell in Love with, represents Jesus to me, by her wanting to save him, she then began to war in herself, the forces, she Also had to kill, destroy her family/blood line, to be Free and if you've seen the movie, she had to go against the daddy of all evil, she kills him, quite gross, and then she becomes mortal, I think, been a long while since seeing but at the end her and the man are together, but it represents Love, at the end, being more important than all the power that evil immortality could offer her.  Power is a strong force, it's also a very destructive force....it Feels good, that's what is so dangerous about it,

it also, slowly, takes away our Humanity, our ability to Feel pain, to Know Love.

The second video, which several of the members used to be in the band Rage Against the Machine, a Maoist group, anyway, I noticed the 'soul power' on his guitar, yea, music is a soul power alright, it can be a good power or a bad power--the Thing about the optimist Disney Christianese music that I don't like, a lot of it, is that it's to me, I think, a lot like the power of dark music, it's a fake mask of goodness, it's usually all about what God can do for ME rather than TRUTH, it's plastic as ever, it's mostly male dominated Just like secular music, the music industry IS yes, very misogynist, it's subtle so many may not notice...

but anyway, the song, Like a Stone, coming to grips with all the poison in side me, the Lies, the hate, the being numb, is yes, being often like a Stone, that heart of stone that no seed can grow in...break up the fallow ground God says,

to try and Grasp the Love of Jesus with a heart like that, to try and Believe in this beautiful Heaven home when All in your life, the Promises, of Heaven, have been, like he said,

blackened skies, and poison wine,

it's really hard, to stand, Alone, though you will, for the one you Love, or Want to Love, or Believe in their Love.  To stand and believe in Jesus, in Heaven, in His accepting you when you have that heart of stone, due to all the abuse, lies, betrayals, is really difficult...but you can't stop waiting, you like a stone, have no other place you want to be...

so you sit, in that lonely house, waiting for Him...

I can relate to that song, see These are the things that Christianese will say, "Oh but the Word says this so cast that down and by golly it's like this and you are wrong to even Feel that way" and then you Still feel that way, you Still breathe and ache that way,

no matter HOW much you might confess otherwise, it's a Lie because You are really like that stone, waiting alone, with no belief.  

The Issue I have, with the majority of Christian music is that, unlike secular, though while it's dark, worldly, it's Truthful, in revealing the struggles, pain and sin people live in and with--the hope of Love, etc., it doesn't Hide it's sinfulness, it doesn't Hide it's human need, 

where Christianese music, sure Says all the right things, you get a good five minute high emotional but once you walk out [worship services esp] that emotion wears off, and then you are in REALITY, and then the LIES begin...because you see, there is no Depth, no Truth, it's nothing more than a sales pitch...using Jesus, like an opiate...this isn't Knowing Christ, it's simply playing a role...a feel good emotional high, that no way, can get you through, what you really are, feel, deal with.

So really, it's still SECULAR MUSIC.  It's the Good part, of the good and evil in the tree of knowledge.

Psalms, which are songs, are Both, Praises and Woes, Laments, very TRUTHFUL, LAMENTS.....they are not, all Oh Praise God we are so Wonderful and Life is so Wonderful and God fixes Everything Praise God and Oh Yea clap clap.....

what a load of bunk....

King David, says,

"For my days are consumed like smoke, and my bones are burned as of hearth, My heart is smitten and withered like grass; so that I forget to eat my bread...."  Psalm 102:3-4

There are THOUSANDS OF THESE VERSES IN THE BIBLE,

all over, that sound FAR more like the songs of NIN and Audioslave,

than the majority of La Di Da Life is So Peachy Praise God it's so Wonderful or Oh I was sad but God made it all Wonderful and Look at my house and cars and hot wife',

ok, kind of being sarcastic there at the end...but you get my drift...

for Whores like me, you know, dealing with the whole Disney World Christian Culture, is just, well, a little too syrupy for us and it's hard to swallow and well like a Medicine Man with his Wagon...selling the bottles of Magic Cure All Potion, on Gunsmoke, It just don't

WORK.

It's not Real, there is NO PAIN...

EVERY DAY IT'S JUST THE SAME THERE IS NO LOVE THERE IS NO PAIN

see, the NIN song, yea, it's Dark, those vampire Demons are Evil, bloody, dark

but that Death, that No Pain, that no Love, that Every Day is just the same is in the Same Disney World Christian Music--same demons, same lies,

with a mask of white goodness---

THE LONELY, FAKE CLUB.

and It will kill you just as much as the drinking of blood libations will...to the gods.

same gods, same lies, same darkness.

Because when Truth, is hidden, when Lies are told, to Portray what should be when it's NOT really in the heart, 

there is no pain, there is no love.

I will close, with this video, there is something Freeing, about just telling the Truth, to God, to Jesus, to Self, to Others....what I get, from all these people, in this video, is Love, because they are Just like me....I don't have to HIDE, IN FRONT OF THEM, BECAUSE I CAN LOVE THEM, EASILY, I DON'T HAVE TO TRY TO BE PERFECT, I CAN BE ME, HORRIBLE SINFUL ME, AND BE LOVED...AND LOVE BACK,

IN SPITE OF SIN.  

THAT IS WHAT JESUS DID, DOES, STILL...

AND THE THING IS, WHEN WE GET NAKED LIKE THAT, DUMP THE LIES, THEN, SOMETHING HAPPENS,

WE IN LOVING DON'T WANT, TO SIN...BECAUSE, MAYBE,

WE DON'T HAVE TO ANYMORE.

MAYBE, THAT'S WHAT HEAVEN, REALLY IS....

 



A couple of things to ponder on here, notice the people, with the truth signs, are standing among the Wheat and the Water [fountain], the images behind the singer/Seether, have numbers on them,

so which is the number of the Beast?

What do we Really see in our world, images? We see the hiding of the truth in those posters, those are the Images that we worship, be they secular or religious, but Truth, is that we All feel/do those things, God says NO ONE will be JUSTIFIED UNDER THE 'LAW' WITH ME, NO FLESH...

why? Because God SEES, ALL THOSE THINGS, GOOD AND BAD,

so, the Wheat, is the Wheat those who hold up cards that say I don't do Any of those things, why I'm religious?

Or the Wheat, I do those things, I know I shouldn't, I believe in God's Grace, I am believing on Jesus Christ to Save me? I am believing/abiding in His Word to truly Change me, so I don't want or do those things?

Romans also says that they rejected the Love of Truth and took Pleasure in unrighteousness and loved and took pleasure in Those that do unrighteousness....

but is That the same, as loving in spite of sin?

Which would you rather be around? Well, I would rather be around those people, standing with the Wheat and Water and who are Honest, and who Want Grace,

now if they are standing there and say, I reject Jesus and don't want change, well that's a different matter, I don't want to be like them because I know, what that sin does, though part of me might still want some sin, I know, the daily no pain no love so, I want to overcome, that.

We are to Overcome the Image of the Beast, I think, more and more the image of the Beast is ourselves, good or bad, loving that, rejecting Christ, and refusing or not wanting to come to the Light to one, See what we really are and then two, letting Christ transform us and OVERCOMING those things.

To overcome, one must do like the woman in the video, she must kill the evil, cut ties, be reborn....for her That meant death because she had to become 'mortal' to love and be free To love and Be loved, and at the end of that movie, the sun was shining, the sun that She, as a wolf/vampire {I think she was mixed if memory serves me right, or she was vampire he was half human/half wolf, hell I don't know I'd have to watch the movie again] but you get the point...but when She was that vampire in dark she had to Avoid the light or it would have consumed her.

Love was what was able to make her take death and love/be loved and then really, she Lived because she could stand in the sun and not like, vanish into demon ash or something.

The image of the Beast,

is it the truth? Or is it the lie, that hides from the Light?

Wheat and Water, I think, that we have to get to the place of admitting the Truth, to be real Wheat, to flow Living Water, we have to hold up those cards,

when we do, WE overcome, the image and mark of the beast.

"And I saw as it were a sea of glass mingled with fire: and them that had Gotten the Victory over the Beast, and over his image, and over his mark, and over the number of his name, stand on the sea of glass, having the harps of God." Rev 15:2

I had always believed it was to 'avoid' the beast, but no, it says right there, those who OVERCAME,

that tells me, there is more to it, than this big beast thing, whatever it is, that forces worship, this is something more...that has to do with humanity, us, ourselves,

maybe it's the worship of humans, that is the worship of the beast, I don't know. Maybe because that Could go either way, be 'good' so that humans will love you or love 'bad' so that humans will love you,

when it's really, GOD who we should Love, with all our heart, strength, mind, etc. and then our neighbor as our self.

To Love, we must be Truthful...

I am, a Sinner, a Liar, because I fear, an unbeliever a lot of the time, full of doubts, sometimes I lust for power, sometimes I hate, sometimes I don't want to forgive, sometimes I don't want power, I want truth to tell truth, to not fear, to really Feel to love you inside,

to not doubt, to really believe, to be good...sometimes I just am afraid of myself,

all in that, I see Jesus, in all this garbage, I see Jesus and sometimes I am afraid because I failed Him, I disobeyed Him, sometimes I loved other things more than Him because He was like out there, real life was here,

sometimes, more now than ever, all this breaks my heart, I want to be Saved, and I cry out to Him, I"m a mess, Please save me, because Unless YOU save me, I am screwed, really screwed...it's like hanging on a cliff and barely able to hang on and so terrified of falling,

I have felt His presence, His love, His grace, I have also felt so condemned, my So many sins [and debts still] always in front of me, so many Wrongs I have done, to Others,

I have NOT loved so many of you, I was selfish, needy, also hating being rejected and neglected by others,

I don't want this anymore...I hate it, I hate the death, all of it...I want to really know what it is to love and be loved without all the fake lies and religion and fear...

to really KNOW Jesus, God, but without having to do so, by becoming some fake empty borg [another thing I fear] pod being....

truth,

it's not always pretty, but I wonder, maybe Truth, is really what LIFE is, wheat and water,

I have been a Weed, I know it, it scares me a lot that maybe I still am. Yea, I am scared of that,

a lot.

I don't Want to be a weed, but I don't know How to BE wheat, I do know, Jesus though,

is good. I know the Cross, but it's the Cross, that needs to know Me. [again I always fear that being an empty pod thing, erased, no me left]...

Truth,

naked, exposed, truth...I can't save myself.

Love,

Jane

LETTERS FROM A CONCUBINE/WHORE PART3, The Whore/Concubines Vision Works like a Prism into the Hearts of Humanity, through the Darkness and the Mask of 'lies of the angel of darkness', Which Beast Image do we Worship Jesus?

"There will never be true Restoration for women Until the Whore is Restored to Her Humanity in the Hearts of Humanity, All Humanity, male and female,  because the Whore is also All Women, not the other way around, that has been the biggest lie and deception to keep all women enslaved to 'man'.  Marriage is a certificate of clean conscience for the Man to Own his private whore, nothing more...the Delusion has been that marriage is for the protection of Women, yet in the second page of Genesis we see that Marriage did not protect Her, it Sold Her into being his 'commodity whore', his 'body' to take at his whim, thus the beginning of the sale and barter and loot in war, of Women, the beginning of slavery, from the foundation of Woman as Whore.  This is the Ugly Truth, that deconstructs the Lies of MALE VIRTUE UNDER GOD, more than any other argument out there.  It is the One Truth, that God Almighty Himself, sees and Knows, intimately, the creation of the Whore, that result of the knowledge Knowing of Good and Evil, is The mirror image, of who Man is, who He is afraid of, who His conscience is pricked, why He hates her so...because in Her, He sees the God He disobeyed, the God HE betrayed, the God that He longs for, but is separated, because He chose her, His love for Her, over God.  She had the power over Him, Love....and man has hated Love ever since...She on the other hand, created to receive Love to create Love, like Mother Earth, like a field, a temple, what you plant into her is what you will reap back, was The Power yet the Vulnerability that could be lured either way, to the light or to the dark, SHE was the KEY to the Dominion of the Planet, if one could Win her over, they had to whole ballpark...Eve was the key, not Adam, the Instinct of Woman is a Power that the enemy and hater of her soul knows all to well has abilities that God can use, her body like her instinct is the field that is fought over, controlled, hidden, bartered, destroyed.  She can go Either way with this power, and the Powers that Be both know it.  This is one of the secrets that the Religious Magistrates that are of Darkness do all to destroy the Instinct, inner Knowing of Women, IF they can demonize her, strip her through rape, own her and abuse her to the point where she will not listen to her Instinct, they have shut one more key to the space where God Himself may dwell...that is a dangerous thing for the kingdom of darkness.  The silence of woman, of Eve, her sitting still and Hearing God, is dangerous indeed, and the powers of hell will do all to either shut her down, destroy her or Own her/control her, this is Why it says that the inner woman/man is precious, PRECIOUS, in God's SIGHT.  But the ironic thing is, it's in the darkness of hell that She hears the voice of God more than if protected in castles of ivory...because while the Lord God put Woman into a dangerous position, the result of the knowing of good and evil, knowing full well she would be Receiving into her through the rape/abuse of MEN, He also, put Enmity between her and the serpent, Satan.  So in All Women, there is a hatred, of Satan, and in Satan, a hatred of Woman.  Satan may own some women, there Are women who believing they'll be protected will join Satan's side, there are Women who will Hate the Lord God who put them into the predicaments, this is also Satan's work, through the Heart of Woman, this is Her choice, which I believe works through the deceptions of both darkness of darkness and the false light mask [religion] of darkness.  Knowing, good and evil...

the Instinct, goes towards Life, Eve, mother of All living, IF woman learns to listen to that force, for this She must reconcile peace with Mother Earth, another Mother of Living, the Bible calls the Earth SHE.  Cursed is the earth for your sake to Adam the Lord God said, she will produce thorns, etc.  Man must work/sow into the earth for the earth to produce crops, if man neglects the earth or rapes her, which he does, for gold, silver, minerals, OIL, violence, the earth will produce thorns, decay and destruction.  There IS healing, in knowing the power of Life through the Earth, it was God who created her and God whose life force through her, through the elements, produces herb and seeds bearing herbs, trees, etc.  To know the cycle of life is NOT the same as 'worshiping' the earth, though the Woman Haters will lay claim to this, because to Respect the life force of earth one cannot justify demonizing Woman.  Nor can they justify forcing Woman into Whoredom.  When men abuse woman, when men abuse the Whore, he sows the seeds of death, he sows death into not just woman but into the earth because She, is the mother of living...whether she bears children or not, she is still mother of living, to kill, rape, destroy her, is to kill, rape, destroy Life, one cannot lay claim to the Tree of Life, while supporting the Evil that Kills Life.  This is what it means in Revelations when it talks about those who have not defiled themselves with Women, it cannot be those who do not marry because God said, the marriage bed is undefiled, so it must mean something else...Could it mean, those who do not defile, Abuse woman, the Whore?  It must, because in the end of Revelations, it says those who do not enter Kingdom of Heaven, one listed i the Whoremonger, but not Whore.  One who abuses Whores, one who, abuses/rapes/defiles Women.  To abuse a Whore, a Woman, is to abuse Life, the source, that God created, in His image, male And female....now Here's the clincher, who has created all the desire to abuse women?  In Revelations it talks about the Mother of Harlots, the Whore of Babylon.  No girl, that I know of, desires to be a Whore, no woman desires to be abused, raped, degraded, soul assassinated slowly.  So then, what Does that mean, Mother of Harlots?  I believe it means the Mother of Lust in Men's Hearts, the Mother that gives birth to Death, that blasphemes God, meaning blaspheming what is Good, Whole, Pure, Decent, Life giving.  The Mother of Harlots creates the abuse of women and girls/and boys And creates the hatred in hearts that will blaspheme God, that will Turn and Hate Love, because Love, has been twisted, in a Lie, to hurt and destroy them.  This is how I see it...why I do not know but this is how I see it, it's not in a literal 'religious' book-Bible form, if one takes the book, the Bible literally, one would come away seeing God as the hater of women, particularly the Old Testament.  In Proverbs it talks, a warning to men, not to enter into the whores place, that hell resides there.  To take this literal, it would mean that the whore, the woman is some unfeeling evil witch that just lures men to pull them into hell, but that's not all it means, because If one knows the Reality of Whoredom, one knows that especially in That era, women, young girls were Forced into that life against their will, and once a Whore there was No possibility for marriage, and there was no Walmarts then, so, she was stuck, and over time, not long either, her heart would turn and HATE men and GOD...[unless she sees the light and Rahab obviously Did see the light because SHE knew, prior to the spies, that God was coming...SHE KNEW, A WHORE KNEW, SO GOD TALKED TO THE WHORE...HE REVEALED TO THE 'WHORE' so the verses in Proverbs does not mean, obviously that it's the Whore that is hell, oh no, but the Abusing her and the Raping her, that will lead men into Hell [and lead women too because yes women do pay to rape just like men, not As much, no, but it Does happen, women have been madames, have assisted in gang rapes in Yugoslavia, for example and have trafficked women, case in Israel not too long ago, women can be Just as evil as men, in abusing the Whore],  it Isn't the whore or the WOMAN that is the Evil,

it is the ABUSING, RAPING, DEFILING, HATING, DESTROYING WOMAN, THE WHORE, THAT IS THE 'EVIL' AND THE MOTHER OF BABYLON IS THE FORCE, THAT PRODUCES AND PERPETUATES AND DESIGNS THAT DESTRUCTION THAT TURNS INTO, THE BLASPHEMING OF GOD, BECAUSE 'HE' IS THE ONE, THAT GETS BLAMED.  GOD AND WOMAN, THE WHORE, SHARE SOMETHING HERE, THEY BOTH, GET THE BLAME, FOR MAN'S 'EVIL' DEEDS....THEY BOTH RECEIVE THE HATRED OF MANKIND'S HATE OF WOMAN...The Lord God will put hatred, between the Serpent and the Woman, between her seed and his [serpent's] seed...

This is not a Thus saith the Lord here, just what and how I have seen this unfold in my heart-mind, when walking through this dark forest, I still struggle with the literal interpretations of the Bible, which do produce a lot of fear and terror for me as well as hate of God, because of things in my life I had no control over, though later influenced my choices to a very large degree, from a deeply wounded soul.  Returning to the Earth, has been one of the things that has healed me, to see God in a different light...from a Whore's lens, rather than a religious one.  What I believe, though could be similar in ways to Paganism or Wicca, is not the same, I am well aware of those beliefs, I am also aware how the haters of women, the creators of Whores, have taken some of those beliefs, twisted them and either used them OR have demonized All things related to Female, to Life, as evil, to hinder Women, from tapping into the Instincts, that God has given them...this is what I believe.  To know Life, to respect Life, TO NOURISH LIFE is to Know or be on the path to God, not the other way around.  One who respects the Life, that loves Life and the Source of All Life, God, in no way, can justify the abuse of women Nor can they be indifferent to the abuse of women or any human...to do so, is the opposite of Love, If God is Love, as John says, then God, is NOT the hater of Women.  And there are numerous scriptures that reveal, hidden things, about this fact....but Religion, has poisoned both the minds and souls and instincts of Women.  Especially, by using the threat of the lie of Whoredom, the Terror of, through rape, through prostitution, through trafficking, through marital rape/abuse, and by Doing these evils to Women, to turn her against God, Her maker.  The Mother of Harlots, blasphemes and causes the blasphemers of God...where the pit of hell is, the brothel, the house, where the Whore sits, where the Woman, is horribly abused till she is destroyed and she will believe unless Truth is told, that it's God, who is her destroyer, the opposite, of LIFE.


I just wished, I could really confirm this unfolding through the Bible, but there is so much misogynist language in the Bible that I cannot, and it breaks my heart...the Bible, to me produces fear, especially when I question these things, it's only when I get alone with God in nature that I can sift through and feel peace...an inner peace, that the Bible, sadly doesn't always give, at least not in the New Testament....I blame the MEN for this, I really do.  IF I go by the Bible, literally, I get the picture of the ACDC video, Thunderstruck, it takes a lot of careful pricking and reading, taking out a few 'key's here and there, in HOW God talked to Women through Jesus, that is So contrary to Paul's letters/and the other books.  More on this later...


Greetings, from the Letters of a Whore/Concubine

I wanted to post at top there, some of what I've been pondering, though again, like I said, when I read the Bible and get the literal I really do struggle, especially with fear and hating God.  It is for this reason I had to leave Christianity, and begin to Deconstruct, not just the Bible but beliefs about God that have been learned, through Christianity...because they are extremely misogynist and indifferent to the pain that Whores live with, I think that all women live with, if Women are honest.

The Bible, literally, especially in Revelations, makes it appear that women are evil, that women aren't even In the Kingdom of Heaven, and I believe it was Deliberately written that way.  It has caused me to even Question the legitimacy of the Bible...I do know, the deconstructionists, the atheists, have tons of Evidence that proves a very strong case on this issue.  There Are letters, that even the Catholic Church admits to, one from Mary of Magdelene, that were in the Dead Sea Scrolls but they are so deteriorated, so they say, that they can't be read.  I do not know,


what I do know, is that Jesus, rebuked the Pharisees for their Literal interpretation of God's Word in the Old Testament Texts...they KNEW the law like no other, yet they rejected the Corner Stone.  I also look at the Lord God in the OT, who says, HE created evil [in Isaiah], who said He would whet his sword, He would destroy [Ezekiel, Isaiah, Jeremiah, to Abraham about Sodom, etc], so like, I see Jesus, the Lord God as one who can be meek and one who can be fierce, one who can do blessing and one who can send out the destroyer...or give us over to, however that works...


so He is intimate, obviously with evil, that and the Cross, He had to be...it's funny because in Revelations it doesn't say, those who stay Pure or those who do Avoid evil, oh no, it says, those who OVERCOME evil,


to Overcome something one must Know it, one must have intimacy with it, on some level, Paul says to overcome evil with good, rather than to be overcome by it.


But this isn't so easy for the Whore, because, while yes, Jesus said nothing that enters into a Man, can defile him, but what comes out of the heart....Jesus also says, when man woman join they are one flesh, and Paul reinforces this,


so when a woman is receiving a man, she isn't just eating and like Jesus said, it goes through the drought, because she receives into herself, this is Why rape is so traumatic, this is why a broken sexual relationship is so traumatic, this is why Whores hearts become hardened and disconnected, there is a Spiritual damage that occurs, something that happens Inside of her,


so this is one of those questions I do ask Jesus a lot, You say Jesus that nothing will defile me but I, here as Woman, beg to differ, it not only defiles it destroys, maybe the Man can walk away unscathed but I get to live with the Demons that haunt me, the self hate, the shame, the inner abyss, the death, the seeing my inner child die, the dreams die, my soul die...


and this at a young age, so you can't tell me that you can put me in a place that I receive this death then I am not defiled by it?  Of course I am...my Heart IS effected, to say it isn't, is a lie...it might be something a Man might say,


and this is when I'll scream, Jesus be a Woman, Then we'll talk....because you come at it from a Man's lens, one who Enters, not one who Receives and against her will,


but then, God shows me, that His temple, He receives all the time, against His will, this is why Jesus drove OUT the money changers and tables...My House will be a House of Prayer He says,


not a house you can bring in your idols and strange fire and lies and robbery.  Taking from me, lips that speak love but Hearts that are far from me...


so maybe God does know what it feels like to be invaded, to be raped, to be manipulated, to be lied to, to be forced.


God and Whore, Woman, have something in common here.  Love, in Hosea, God says you're like the adulterous woman [the only way man can care is if it's about Him, obviously and God knew this, man's EGO] and she leaves and then do you take her back and no you don't, etc., but then God says,


but I am asking you, Israel, to come back to me....


Love, woos, Love wants, Love desires,


and Love is betrayed, Love is raped, Love is spit upon, Love is abused, Love is hated, Love is mocked, Love is stripped naked, Love is passed around as if cheap, Love is ridiculed, Love is demeaned, Love is beaten, Love is left, forsaken, destroyed,


or is it?


Love protects Love....Love is intimate with evil because Love has felt evil...Love is the one force that evil hates, and that is hated, Love fights evil....it has to, to overcome it.


In this video, which is dark but I tend to like dark videos because they are far more Truthful than the majority of your Disney World optimist Christian songs that have little to no depth, how can they, how can any Love have depth if it's not felt evil, known darkness to even Desire Light?  Paul was blinded, for days, prior...a seed, to develop strong Roots must be planted in DARKNESS, throw a seed on top of soil it Won't grow unless it's a small seed and then it's not fail proof, the Strong plants are always those seeds that must be planted Deep in Darkness, Jesus, the Cross, was planted Deep into the Earth, that Same Mother Earth that shook, the earthquake once Jesus died...


evil, rapers, of Whores, are like vampires, haters of Women, of Life, are vampires, to fight evil, this woman, I believe she was either half wolf/vampire or something to that accord but she has to Know evil, to overcome Evil...and it was Love that drove her,


this song, says something that I wonder....day by day it's the same, there is no love and there is no pain.


With no pain, there is No love, only Deadness...the world, the Underworld, of the Dead.


This is one Whore, that is fighting the vampires, that is hanging onto Love, though desolate, the Hope of Love inside her, this is one Whore that is fighting NOT to hate God, to Believe...and she knows, to do that,


she'll have to fight the darkness, and the demons that haunt her.  The other video, is how I see Jesus a lot, waiting in the house/Heaven alone, like a stone...because Heaven, Love, was a lie...a betrayal...but he waits and believes and hopes...like a stone, God says the whore's forehead, like a stone hard, He's referring to the heart's many loves other Than God, but it can also mean, the many deaths, that cause Love to die...


she knows So many images, So many different faces, promises, that all turned out to be Lies, they are all beasts, to worship/love the beasts, to hope in the beasts, Maybe this one, Maybe...the living the yo yo existence, all that she sees, oh This is Love God loves me then right after Hate comes then God hates me...He is destroying me, the Whore, He picked me out to be a whore and to be destroyed, He is Lord of all after all...to fight those images, those internal beliefs, that are not just fleeting but Deep, to the Core, the I am evil, to really fight that level of darkness, to Know one is evil because yes, I have chose and done evil and hated God, many times...the God whom I believed, made me a Whore...who for Years believed she was a daughter of the Mother of Harlots,


and Religion only confirmed that, time and time again.


Even when I KNEW acting the whore was wrong, years later I still would because that was what I was worth, Any act of Kindness, Any, I would grovel for...something so deep and primitive, from prior abuse, betrayal, lies, including from some Christian men, see a Whore, can be mistreated because she is Predestined for it, don't you see,


that was what God made her for.


To know that, to believe that, is near impossible to free oneself from and Really believe different...and the Shame, the Shame of it, is not so easily erased, worse, is to See how the Lord God in Bible would give women and girls Over to that, and in OT He did, and What did they do?  Nothing, they were just


girls/women.


Who had the unfortunate lot of being born to the wrong parents, fathers, society...or taken in war, even women taken as wives in a dance, young girls, I can guarantee you they never danced again.  No woman does, when she is raped and forced, no woman does...a marriage certificate does not erase her sale into lifetime of being a man's owned whore.


A whore cannot just ignore these questions, they are a PART OF HER, JESUS, THE POWERFUL LORD GOD, IS NOT A 'FRIEND TO HER', only sometimes, does she see Glimpses,


only sometimes...it's not like we are Mary in His physical presence and We didn't hear what HE really had to say and what WE get, is a Bible that is disputable, written by MEN who HATED WOMEN...who thought All women were evil, were Whores,


so to Know, is to fight through the darkness, Which Image do I worship Jesus, why you mention one in Revelations, I have known hundred, which one?  Even the religious ones, which One Jesus,


what is the Image, what is the Beast, I have known many....how does one know, because many come even claiming to know YOU JESUS, to SPEAK FOR YOU.


turns into Which Voice, which is God and which is Vampire...and a Heart, of Stone, waits, for a House, that may not welcome Her....













More on this later...

LETTERS FROM A CONCUBINE/WHORE PART 2, WHY RAGE IS NOT PRETTY

I suppose I should start off this letter with a Confessional, oooooh, a Confessional from a Whore/Concubine, like, this might be interesting eh...for you religiosity folks out there, now's the time to get out your sanctimonious lynch torches. ;)

A couple of things, first, I cursed at a Christian today...Yikes, I know, like How awful...one would think, Right?

Well, this isn't something that I am in some custom habit of doing, I did I will admit, say what I had to say to her personally, no I will not name names because my intent here is not to defame anyone OR to cause division...

but I couldn't hold back anymore. I have bit my tongue a few Too many times either around Christians or on Christian blogs, when deep inside my inner voice was just a raging and then I would rage at God. But NOT this time...

you see I was reading a blog this morning, after I had started this series, and some person puts in a comment that God ordained a slave wife in Kings and that do women become like the 2 Timothy, meaning rebelling against authority and well, along those lines,

but it was the 'ordained by God' comment that just threw me into a spin of black tornado, I'll get into that here in bit as to Why, because it hasn't been the first time some sanctimonious pious Christian [and usually sadly, women] has just blatantly referred to the whore/sex slave as if she's some fucking NON-HUMAN and that if she rebels then why, that's just fucking horrible because GOD ORDAINED HER LOT IN LIFE...

but what the Issue was, I posted, very CIVIL that I was doing this series, that I would be talking from the voice first person about what it is to be a whore and reconcile God, soveireingty and so forth and she might be interested in reading as I was going to ask some of those questions. Sure enough, I get an email with the 'I'm removing your comments' etc.

OK, well, that's the SECOND TIME, I have made a reference to God, authority, whores and sex slaves and have gotten sweetly with that smug 'we don't deal with you types here' kind of go away...

but oh, you see That's not the only reason, look this isn't about EGO here, oh no...

if That wasn't bad enough, ON THIS SAME BLOG there is the Take Back Heart, EX QF logo and on Their website, they had for a while, a logo, that had a woman then a stripper at the bottom, and it said, "Prairie Muffins and Pole Dancers Sisters in the End",

and everyone just thought, in the religious community/ex religious, that it was the most hilarious thing, well, It was, though I would beg to differ that No, sister, it Ain't the same, but that's another topic another time...

so now TO PORTRAY US, WHORES, CONCUBINES, POLE DANCERS, ETC., IN COMPARING OR POINTING OUT YOUR OPPRESSION THAT'S OK,

BUT WHEN WE, THE ACTUAL 'WHORES', 'CONCUBINES', POLE DANCER'S, ETC., GOT SOMETHING TO SAY,

WHY, OH SHIT, OH HELL NO, CAN'T HAVE THAT, WHY THAT'S OFFENSIVE, WHY THAT'S JUST NOT 'CHRISTIAN', WHY THAT'S JUST NOT APPROPRIATE,

BUT IT'S OK FOR YOU TO USE US, TO 'FUCK US' OK BABY, CAN I JUST SAY IT, BECAUSE HEY WE ARE FUCKED ALL THE TIME ANYWAY, IF IT MAKES YOU

LOOK BETTER, MORE OPPRESSED, OR NOT 'AS' OPPRESSED, OR MAKES YOU LOOK

HOLIER, A HOLIER WOMAN.

Oh yea, Christians have been riding the Backs of Whores for a very Loooong Time, why, didn't you Know,

that God saved a Harlot! Why Two of them, so you know, if HE can save a Harlot, a Woman that is, by golly less than a MAGGOT, WORSE THAN A MURDERER, WHY,

THEN WE AREN'T SO BAD NOW ARE WE? WHY WE ARE NOT SO 'SINFUL', SO 'DIRTY', WHY WE ARE 'ELEVATED JUST A BIT' OVER THEM, BECAUSE HEY, WE MAY BE CALLED 'WHORES' BUT WELL, WE NEVER HAVE COUGH COUGH, BEEN LIKE 'pssst, those WHORES',

oh yea, getting a little to honest for ya?

How the hell do you think it feels to us, who have or are Whores, to hear some of the references and the shit we hear from Grace Believing Christians? Do you think we take some Pride in hearing, that hey, God saved us worse sinners of all maggot Whores,

why, being a murderer is not as bad, hey look, Paul was a murderer but you see, HE got to have A VOICE,

he got to be a Hero,

we Whores, we don't even get to have a VOICE...not among Christians/religiosity that's for sure...but oh boy, feel Free to Reference to us, any time baby, to Push the Gospel, to Preach, to build those ministries on OUR BACKS,

after all, hey, WE USED TO IT, RIGHT?

So you see, when she emailed me with that oh so sweet 'oh please understand why I removed your comments', and I'll give her credit, she at Least had the decency to email me, OK, not like some Other blog woman who took out parts of something I said and demonized me OR when I asked, how did those women in the Roman days reconcile Paul's telling them obey authority with being chaste and pure because FACT, all women slaves in the days of Rome and Greece WERE SEX SLAVES, and they had no choice in the matter...and hey, you know, Sex Slavery ain't nice and sweet, it's not roses and romance and sweet love, OK we can drop the Hollywood glorification bullshit, about what life is for sex slaves. And you know here is this woman, debating over and over and over with MEN who are all about flaunting their right to AUTHORITY OVER WOMEN, BY GOLLY GOD GAVE US ENTITLEMENT TO 'DOMINATE' OUR WIVES, OUR CONCUBINES, OUR WHORES...attitude,

and SHE couldn't even Post my question....and She is all about fighting for Women to Go into the MINISTRY? TO HELP WOMEN?

LOL, ok, well, I guess Rahab, that don't apply to women like you, to Mary, the Sinner, obviously a Whore by the way the Pharisees AND the disciples scoffed, that don't apply to you or me either...and IF we get ministered to, why it's on the back streets, or in prison, because WE SOOOOOOO BAAAAAD, YA KNOW WE WERE BORN AND ONE DAY AT THE AGE OF FOUR, SAID, OOOOOH GOD, YOU KNOW I WANNA BE A 'WHORE' ONE DAY, OOOOH PLALEESE,

or when there can be BOOKS made about US or when there can be the Oh why WE so good, why WE went out and preached to WHORES AND JESUS SAVED THEIR WRETCHED WHORE ASSES,

what they won't tell you, is how the MEN, preachers included, kind of flirted and hey, some even are clients, oooh, Did I say too much,

but you see, psst, it's OK because hey, they're, we're just Whores, Prostitutes, Pole Strippers, etc.

Now, you may be wondering why I added Prostitutes with Whores, well, people think that Whores are Only prostitutes, Wrong...Whores can also be the girl/woman who gives herself or sells herself for kindness, fleeing abuse, who is exploited or one who sells herself to men for money without a pimp OR even teen run away that moves in with an older man because she has no where to go-and he exploits her,

it's the same thing, it might not be the same like with the organized cartel and pimp but it's the same...it's the selling or giving of sex/body for physical needs when one is coerced, or has no options or is Forced into, and doesn't really want to. [yes there Are some who do go into the line of work because they want to but you know, They are a VERY SMALL, AND I DO MEAN, SMALL, MINORITY.]

In the Bible, a Whore was Any woman that dealt treacherously with her 'husband', so,

the definition of Whore can be broad.

My definition of it here, is a woman that has had to use sex for survival, including emotional due to Abuse...so when I say Whore I'm not just referring to the prostitute on the Sunset Boulevard who does tricks and the pimp takes the money...though I am including that because hey, you know something,

it ain't no different, whether a woman is selling for money or for diapers...same thing, so,

yea, a lot Don't like to Hear this because then you see, it kind of puts a whole different light on Marriage too, but that's another topic, another time. I will say, being 'fucked' by a man in marriage who is abusive, feels a lot like being fucked by a stranger or john who is abusive...so this whole Well I'm not Whore like you and well I'm married, so I'm a step better than the Whore, nah, that's bullshit...

it's a Nice delusion though, and it has Kept men in power over women for eons, and women divided and women ensnared and women blaming Themselves for male misogyny, women Excusing men's behavior and Especially, when God is in the picture.

The whole do not join Jesus with prostitute, you see that's Always used in reference to the Oh that Nasty Whore,

they Never think, on that scripture like this: Do not join Jesus to a prostitute/whore and by doing so causing Him to Sin against a OH MY GOSH, HUMAN BEING BY EXPLOITING HER....

oh no, you'll Never hear Christians say it like that [or Muslims or Secular or Any man and other women haters], oh no,

it's always that don't join with the Prostitute, why she's A LEPER, didn't ya know????

Because you know Those girls/women SEX SLAVES, LIKE THE ONE THAT THE POSTER MENTIONED IN 'KINGS' WHY WE KNOW THEY HAD SO MUCH CHOICE IN THE MATTER HUH,

WHY THEY COULD HAVE FOUGHT OFF THOSE ROMAN SOLDIERS AND ESCAPED BEING TAKEN IN SOME OLD MAN'S HOUSE AND RAPED, REPEATEDLY UNTIL SHE WAS BROKEN TO POINT WHERE SHE KNEW, SHE HAD NO SAY SO OR OWNERSHIP OVER HER BODY, PERIOD, OVER HER SELF, HER SOUL, and it Was NOT uncommon for those men, including Christian men in that era, oh yea, to barter her out for their uh, buddies...

so Yea, can't have the Holy and Pious men touching Her now can we? Because it's Always about HER,

NEVER, NEVER, ABOUT

THEM.

And many Christian women [I do want to say, the ones supporting me here are awesome, not All Christian women are insensitive but you Still do run into them, a lot] are Worse than the men and you know, that is more hurtful, and That is what will cause ME,

and I'm sure other women Whores, Ex-Whores, etc., to really Question what God must think too. Not just think, but there's this disconnection, like you know, yea yea mentally God saved the Harlot and cast out demons out of Mary but,

well, you know you're the Special at the bottom of the well case, that of All women, you are the most dirtiest, the most profane, the most Ungodly, where the Other women,

are chaste, Oh so pure.

I can Only imagine the inner HELL the Whores, Sex Slaves [and there was one in early church] felt when hearing, thou must obey your master in Everything, and then, to hear, along with the Chaste Women, flee sexual immorality [AS IF THEY HAD ANY DAMN CHOICE] and be chaste, sober, etc....

I think this is the REAL REASON, PAUL SAID FOR WOMEN TO VEIL, because of the not just Class division but the Sexual division between Women, the Married who did Veil in that era to show their 'chastity' and BTW, they too OWNED these sex slaves knowing FULL WELL THEIR HUSBANDS WERE RAPING THEM WITH SANCTION AND IMPUNITY...and the sex slave/concubine HER hair was shorn...it was illegal for her to go in public veiled, many of them had their faces branded,

forever the Whore, taken captive, a non-Human,

and we Never hear from Her now do we? Hell we don't hear from women-wives in church either but we don't even hear from Whores among the Wives, not unless it's that,

"oh, I used to be a Whore and I was so so a horrible sinner [never mind I was raped and forced into or sold into, etc] and oh God saved me but AREN'T you glad you not like me?"

Yea, they Love that shit,

just don't let no whore come in there and start Really talking, Especially questioning,

ok Poster, why Did God ordained me to be a Whore, let's say if I was trafficked, Why? How in the hell do I reconcile God's love with That, with the gang rape, the being forced to serve 50 men a day...Oh, That's right, we're just to blindly trust and not even Ask those questions,

nor think them,

and Dare not, ever let a Whore, Ex Whore, bring them up--Ever,

why It might shake some things, Oh my God it might make a lot of MEN, feel uncomfortable because if a Whore was to really speak her mind, to Show that she is

more than tits, ass, vulva

that she Bleeds and Breathes and Dreams and Cries and Hurts,

and how All those dreams have been Smashed to smithereens and she is a Cage without a Bird inside....

but hey, you know, be Chaste, be Sober, Always obey that master, no matter what...and remember,

God Loves you.

Yea, so many, just Don't get it...and they Never will, because they simply refuse, to

Listen

to the

Whores.

oH, BTW, NO, I'm NOT going to apologize to her, I didn't call her names or anything just used some strong language and I firmly believe and I usually Do apologize, even on this Blog, numerous times, but there are Thousands upon Thousands of women/children who are Whores in this world, so to silence me, posting a legit topic, in response to a commenter's insensitivity and Only saying I am writing on this issue, to be erased...SHE ERASED AND SILENCES EVERY VOICE OUT THERE THAT IS TRAFFICKED, FORCED INTO PROSTITUTION FOR MILITARY BOYS, IN WAR, IN PEACE [OH YEA], THOSE TEEN RUN AWAYS, THOSE CHILDREN...THOSE WOMEN TRYING TO FEED KIDS ON NEXT TO NOTHING, ETC.,

SO NO, I WON'T APOLOGIZE, NOT THIS TIME. It's why I started this series...because you see Unlike the Bullshit myths out there that we just get saved and oh, well Why we are just fine, WE ARE NOT, I may not be IN that lifestyle anymore but every day, there isn't one day, that doesn't go by, that I don't feel or hear or live being a whore...and I didn't choose that life because hey, I so wanted it...I learned at Young age, that I was a WHORE, I'm talking young like 6 years old. So....

yea God ordained my lot, you betcha, and Don't think I don't have Issues hating Him because I do, Especially reading the Bible or hearing others talk, I fight like hell nearly every day, just to Want to BE ALIVE,


there are times I can't even get out of bed. My kids have suffered, my husband has suffered, and when I read some [what I really want to say, Bitch] say, oh God ordained that woman sex slave and by golly they are wrong if they rebel like referred to as in Timothy and they had just better accept their lot,

you know what, that's like being told, bitch bend over and take it and I don't care HOW much you bleed cuzz That's what YOU are, that's what YOU have been CREATED FOR...

this is the shit I struggle with, more than Any other thing, no matter HOW many scriptures I stand on. You never forget the Feelings, it's like rape [and yes I've been raped once, well almost twice, molested once] and I read on some Christian site, does God condone rape and they ignore us, like hey, what WE say don't matter, it's what the damn Experts with their Lexicons and Theology school say that Matters and I read that kind of stuff and all I want to do is scream Fuck You,

but you know, we're Not to revile and we are to Have Grace and we are to Love and Forgive and Stuff Stuff Stuff Stuff,

why I stuff and stuff just as much rage as I did penises, kind of sad really.

And yea, as for my horrible yes gross UNGODLY language here, normally and I haven't cursed like this in Long while, must be a very poisonous bitter root being pulled up,

but you know, the Life of a Whore, it ain't pretty, OK, it's not like some John or Stranger or abusive boyfriend [who might as Well BE a John] is all kind and sweet and tender and you know oh yea baby I think you're beautiful,

the sex, of Whoredom, let me tell you, is a lot about being Raped, it's about being cursed at, hit, beaten, sodomized, whipped, choked, all for HIS kicks,

you ain't human...you ain't even a DOG,

and God ordains our lot remember, arrrrgh, and then WE are not to have rage or curse or say Anything,

just go off in our little corner, be thankful that Jesus saved our leper asses and when hubby says Submit and those images are there why you just do it honey and God heals you and you know,

psst, just don't talk about it around us, Especially don't ask those Tough Questions, because

we'd rather talk about monkey books and argue with MEN who say oh God put women under men and oh to be Receptive to men Sexually,

oh yea, it's Wonderful, for a Whore/Concubine, to sit and listen to that shit.

So, yea, I'm pouring out here, because This is the ugliness and brutality and lies and betrayals and death....the rotting death,

a Whore feels...

and my life as a Whore, was Nothing like, many women that I know of, personally, and not Anywhere, near the living HELL ON EARTH, THAT THOSE TRAFFICKED ARE SUFFERING TODAY AS WE SPEAK, NOT EVEN...close.

So, Jesus, went into Hell, HE heard Romans curse, He heard the screams of those crucified, He heard the cries of yes, SEX SLAVES,

but Christians, can't abide hearing from a whore, it's too hellish, to ugly, too crass,

yep, guess they better than Jesus too.

Go figure...

Jane

Jane

LETTERS FROM A CONCUBINE/WHORE PART I, INTRO BELOW

note:  be sure to check the Label, for the whole series, they will be numbered, Letters from a Concubine/Whore.

PART I, THIS CONCUBINE WHORE WANTS TO KNOW....

WHAT the Boy's Club of Heaven really gonna look like? By all that she's read, heard, from the Brethren, including the Bible, of all the Sons of God, love thy Brethren, the letter of John to the old Men, the young MEN, the Children, no mention of women, the no greater love than this but a MAN lay down HIS life for HIS

BRETHREN,

brethren, let's see what dictionary says, Merriam-Webster says it means Plural for BROTHERS, same thing as Fraternity...[NOTICE MARX'S INTERNATIONALE' IT WAS 'FRATERNITY', SORRY SORORITY SISTERS, YA NEED NOT APPLY THERE EITHER, EXCEPT HAVE THOSE BABIES AND LIFT THAT IRON, AND UH, KEEP THE COMRADE MEN NICE AND PLEASED]

ok then, so we KNOW brethren, a term before 12th century so this goes way back, means Plural for Brothers...

with all the Authority talk of Brethren in the church, all the rah rah let's go kill and hey, take those young Virgins [in B.C. those girls were like uh, 6, 7, 10 years old at latest, they were married off young] and make them our Concubines, yea that was sanctioned and condoned baby, in Hebrew society as well as all over Mesopotamia, Mayans, India, China...

so, I got to thinking,

ya know, I think, with all the references to Sons of God and Heaven, I wonder, if Heaven, will look kind of like this, what ya think? [remember, the Bible was written by MEN, religion has always been dominated and Defined by MEN, so, I'm taking what I have read, heard, still hear from MEN all over, ok, in All religions, so]

I wonder, Jesus, is Heaven gonna look like this? If you take all your MEN say, that's the image one gets...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvoeeq-BH4w

Yea, and notice, this concert, in a Prison, so like, yea like a man's prison is, oh yea baby...

oh the whole Male Super Strength, can't ya feel it? Trust me, we whores have felt it a lot...

those young concubine Whores in OT felt it too...oh you bet ya.

Stay tuned, more coming...this concubine whore has a Lot of Questions, Jesus,

so, what is Heaven really gonna be like, with all these Brethren?

do we Whores/Concubines, get some room to the side there or what?

[yea being sarcastic, but you know, these are the Questions that I do ask, all the time, and NO, please don't put your pat answers/religious rhetoric cliches of oh Jesus cast out demons out of a whore,

yea I know...that still don't answer, why there is NO reference, other than all are one In Jesus, in Heaven...and taking all the imagery of the BIBLE,

of God, Brethren, wives who are barren, and of course, us Whores, well,

hey, that question is legit.

And, why is it, I don't feel any love, ya know, or is it really about

being THUNDERSTRUCK? Kind of goes with that Whoose Our Daddy now doesn't It? Will come back to that one, a bit later...

Okie dokie then...

Jane

WHOOSE OUR 'DADDY' SERIES,INTRODUCTION FROM THE CONCUBINE/WHORE LETTERS

WARNING: THIS SERIES, WHILE TRUTHFUL, WILL BE DARK. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED EASILY, BY TRUTH, THEN DON'T BOTHER TO READ. IF YOU ARE USED TO THE SUGAR COATING OF LIES WITH RELIGIOUS CLICHES AND PAT ANSWERS, DON'T BOTHER...THESE LETTERS, THESE QUESTIONS ARE FROM A WOMAN WHO YES, WAS FOR YEARS, A CONCUBINE/WHORE, AND I WILL SPEAK, FROM MY REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE, IN BOTH THE WORLD AND AMONG 'CHRISTIANS', WHAT I SEE, HOW I SEE AND THE REASONS I WILL NOT REST, UNTIL THESE QUESTIONS, ARE ASKED, TO JESUS, FROM THE VOICE, NOT OF A 'THIRD PARTY' BUT OF A REAL CONCUBINE/WHORE [OR YOU CAN SAY MISTRESS, USED/ABUSED WIFE-SAME THING, ADULTEROUS, ETC, I'VE BEEN ALL SO],


IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE TRUTH, IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE STEPPING INTO HELL TO REACH THE LOST, THEN, STAY IN YOUR SAFE SHELTER BUBBLE OF RELIGIOSITY, PAT ANSWERS, WORSHIP OF THE MALE MUSHROOM, BECAUSE WHERE I AM GOING, IS STRAIGHT TO THE CROSS, YOU KNOW THAT UGLY, BLOODY PLACE WHERE EVIL, OH YEA BABY, EVIL, HAD IT'S HOUR OF DARKNESS. JESUS FOR SOME ODD REASON, UNLIKE SO MANY CHRISTIANS I HAVE MET, DID NOT SQUIRM AROUND SINNERS NOR THE UGLY DARK SIN AROUND HIM, HE EVEN FELT THE PUNCHES, SO UH, YEA,


I'M GOING TO BLOW THE LID OFF THE BITCH OF LIES...CARE TO COME IN? I HOPE, KIND OF, CUZZ I'M IN ONE OF THOSE DARING MOODS, SOME OF THE PATRIARCH 'BRETHREN' DARE TO STEP IN, OH PLEASE DO...BECAUSE I'M GOING TO ASK SOME QUESTIONS, ALWAYS MODERATED 'OFF' CHRISTIAN SITES, INCLUDING EGAL ONES, INCLUDING ONES WHERE WOMEN WANTING IN MINISTRY WON'T DARE TOUCH--NOT JUST FOR ME, BUT FOR ALL THE SEX SLAVES AND CONCUBINES/WHORES OUT THERE...


THE QUESTIONS SO MANY OF US ASK GOD, BUT WE ARE SILENCED, BRUSHED OFF, IGNORED, TOSSED ASIDE, WELL,


THIS CONCUBINE/WHORE, AIN'T GONNA BE SILENCED ANYMORE. SO,


JESUS, FIRST THING I ASK IS;   WHOOSE OUR DADDY?   CUZZ I'M A TAD CONFUSED HERE, INCLUDING WHEN READING THE BIBLE, THAT THING, ABOUT LOVE,


AND OH, JUST HOW EVEN THE 'BRETHREN' DEFINE, TO US WOMEN, WHAT LOVE IS...YEA,


LET'S GO THERE, SHALL WE?

  OK BRETHREN, LETTER'S FROM THE CONCUBINE/WHORE, SEE, I GOT MY SWORD BABY, AND I AIN'T GONNA HOLD BACK ANYMORE...LET'S SEE, IF THERE IS SOME 'TRUTH' OUT THERE AMONG ALL THE RELIGIOUS BULLSHIT, LET'S SORT THROUGH THE PILES OF MANURE I'VE BEEN TOLD AND READ, WHY I GOT ENOUGH PILES OF BULLSHIT BABY,


I COULD BUILD MY OWN TOWER OF BABEL WITH IT.  BULLSHIT FROM 300 A.D., SO, YEA, LET ME USE THE SWORD, WILL HAVE TO DO FOR A SHOVEL FOR NOW, AND LET'S GET DIGGING...I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A LONG TIME FOR THIS.

[photo credit at bottom]

Ah, what is Truth Pilate asked Jesus, and there was silence.

What if, Pilate had asked, what is Love?  Do you think the church through out history, the Bible, shows us what Love is?  Oh yes you say,

well, let's see, you see this concubine/whore here, begs to differ, so I am going to ask, the questions, that few like to ask much less answer.  Why?  Because for the past 30 something years I have asked them, and I did not get answers that proved to me, with signs and wonders, that Love exists outside of the male definition of...not even from the Bible.

So, from a Concubine/Whore, let's hear, what this girl's Lens has to say, since, the Bible, didn't allow a concubine/whore to speak.  Shall we,

we can start with here,

Whoose our Daddy?



Stay tuned, more coming...OH, BTW, please do not leave comments about 'oh we feel your pain and God will heal you, this isn't about my pain or about you're needing to feel good because oh my gosh, the UGLY is OH MY GOD, ACTUALLY GOING TO SPEAK, TRUTH, AND NOT HIDE ANY OF THE DEMONS, OR THE 'REAL HELL' A WHORE LIVES WITH, OK...I know that isn't what the Religiousity like to hear because well, it's kind of unpleasant isn't it and oh, well, you know the only reference that is Acceptable about the Whore is 'oh the whore Rahab was saved, of course with the title, Whore, or Harlot in those days, or the Whore of Babylon or the Whore this, Whore that, bad, bad, bad Whore...but can't let the WHORE talk, why she might tell,

about all those Good Christian, Muslim, Atheist men who like to dominate her with lies, Especially lies, force, Conquest [ah those good ole Bible B.C. days eh, and young ones too, ;) ]

oh, One more thing, you know as many men who have told me semen has vitamin E in it and why it's good for our faces, Funny thing is, if I wanted to rid my worn wrinkles I'd still need to inject my face with Botox, Botulism, ain't that something,

guess it don't got all that Vitamin E in it after all, eh Brethren?

Okie Dokie then, well, stay tuned cuzz I have only just begun...told you, this is going to get down right Ugly, but hey,

TRUTH, IS UGLY AIN'T IT?  So prepare to get a tad messy, oh trust me, we Whores know all about getting messy, and we know we are to Serve, Obey Authority and Say how good it is....you know, we Love you long time baby.

PHOTO CREDIT: FROM FINAL FANTASY -- I CHOSE IT BECAUSE HEY, I LOVE THE SWORD, EVERY 'WHORE/CONCUBINE' SHOULD HAVE ONE....

;)

 http://forums.gametrailers.com/thread/hottest-girl-in-game-/739590?page=2

Amazing how when wrestling you get Answers to Questions you Didn't even Know were there

[see posts below on why I'm leaving Christianity]

Wow, ok so like, I am reading blog, kind of agree with the article on this book, but then something, just stood out, and then, BOOM, LIGHT GOES OFF,

why I hate this religion so much.

Here it is:

June 21, 2010 4:24 PM
Blogger JaneDoeThreads said...

ok now I know what it is that has been bothering me so much about Christianity,

it's this: Rachel may not know all the answers, but she knows the One Who does. Her life echoes my own prayer of faith to God:
I'm willing not to know, but to rest in knowing You.
And here, there is peace.

This is bunk...no, there is no peace,

look, it's our souls we're talking about, I won't follow some blanket God that I can't even know if I'm going to Heaven or Hell or not, I don't care IF HE is GOD, ok,

one I didn't ask to be created, did YOU? two, this to me sounds like WHY we see the abuse that we do, this 'oh blind faith' BUT have it anyway...to that I say,

why not just worship the beast too?

You know, we have a right to TRUTH, I don't think, Jesus is some vague mystery that plays games, I think Satan is the one that parades around playing games, the answers ARE in the book, it's getting to an understanding, that is spiritual, because our carnal Vision is so narrow, like the genocide thing, Yes, if you take just a few scriptures about Joshua you get that meaning...it's when you look at prior, like microscope, one verse, can shed light, like the one about when the Lord God, said to the angels meeting Abraham [and obviously angels were on planet then with humans] that, should we tell him what it is that I do...then he goes on to say to Abraham, IF there are ten righteous...he'll spare.

So we see some light there, what unnerves me, is when we stop, at the well we don't have the answers but oh well we'll trust anyway,

good grief, they Trusted HITLER TOO. Its no wonder, we have the Cults we do today,

we have not just the Right to Question, we have the Right to answers, why Jesus said, the Holy Spirit will Lead you into All truth,

not some truth, not MAYBE TRUTH, not a little here and not any there and why just walk in darkness groping and obeying just Any thing, because to NOT obey until you Get truth, to avoid evil, well that's just not Faith,

bull. Faith is NOT blind believing, Faith is substance, of Things Hoped for.

No, we as Individuals Don't all have the answers, why? Because we are in the Body meaning if WE don't have the answer, someone does. We need each other,

what I fear, is this growing attitude that blind faith, blind optisism, is acceptable. I don't think it is, it's one, too dangerous, it's leaves one Wide open to be exploited, deceived and heck, you could be worshiping Satan thinking, it's God.

If you Don't know the answers, KEEP ASKING, ASK, SEEK, KNOCK, IT WILL, NOT MAYBE, NOT LET'S PLAY GAMES, JESUS SAID, IT WILL,

BE OPENED UNTO YOU.

We seriously, need to dump the psychology and get deep into the Word of God...not talking Fundie here, the reason for fundie is because of this whole blind faith nonsense. My soul, is Worth more to me, than just limping along blindly, with this la de da blind faith. I want answers, if I'm to lay down my life, then by golly, I look at it this way,

if you can't answer me, then, you obviously, don't have truth, and That applies to God too. Again, none of us Asked to be here, none of us Asked for the trees, none of it, I think, the Least we can deserve, is knowing...God is just, I don't think He is the one, that has issues with us knowing.

If He does, then He would be a Hitler,

and we'd be, 'I was just following orders sir' when I threw those babies in the ovens...

no wonder, so much Genocide, has been done, in the name of

GOD.

no wonder...and people will Obey, blind faith, trusting in some invisible God through some man/government husband, that says,

do this...God says so,

and then, we got Christians saying I am alright with not having answers I'll just blindly follow.

Give me a break, if That ain't one Hell of an opiate, I don't know what is. I've seen Heroin and Meth addicts,

who have more fucking common sense.

It's called an Inner Compass folks, even God says He gave us one, in Romans:

"For when the Gentiles, which have NOT the law, do BY NATURE the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a LAW UNTO THEMSELVES: WHICH SHOW THE WORK OF THE LAW WRITTEN IN THEIR HEARTS, THEIR CONSCIENCE ALSO BEARING WITNESS, AND THEIR THOUGHTS THE MEAN, WHILE ACCUSING OR ELSE EXCUSING ONE ANOTHER;

IN THE DAY WHEN GOD SHALL JUDGE THE 'SECRETS' OF MEN, BY JESUS CHRIST, ACCORDING TO MY GOSPEL. [Romans 2:14-16]

damn it is Really time, to DUMP THE MAGISTRATE because tearing us away from our Souls is Exactly what they are doing!

Jane

Leaving Christianity but not Jesus Christ Part 3

ANOTHER trigger, I had contemplated posting this yesterday but hesitated but Now I will,

the Toxicity of religion, ritual abuse, child abuse...

if there was a video, that shows what it is, to live with the aftermath, this is it. WARNING: IT IS VERY DARK, it can be construed the wrong way--it can be TRIGGERING for those survivors of child abuse/ritual abuse, including cultist Christianity. I first heard the song and for long time loved it because for me, it was a song about my childhood, the abuse [from my mother]and the being free of that--

the video, the part of the chicken [that I thought looked like a baby] in oven when I actually got around to seeing it really bothered me, a lot, huge trigger and for long time I couldn't hear the song. But it dawned on me, one day reading the Bible, what it meant to me, when God says, when iniquity is full in the society mothers will eat their young. That is the fruit of misogyny-patriarchy, the end result of hatred.

At the end of the video, pay close attention...it speaks volumes, where she is tied still to the puppet strings, the thing about this video/mind control-a.k.a. communist nation using PSYCHOLOGY, oh yes, and the doll, that is the same doll that was in numerous of my dreams And one like I wanted when a young child. If you know anything about the Illuminati, monarch, you'll get it, anyway, that's what I deal with, what I struggle with, and mix that with Christianity and well, you kind of can get the cognitive dissonance. The doll also represents what the patriarchy has Done to women, like in the post, part 2 where I listed Tori Amos's video, Crucify Ourselves, the 'cat says girl you're nothing but a dead bird in a cage' or 'no bird in an empty cage',

that's what they do, they strip us of our souls, they erase us, they make us into dolls controlled by strings. This is what mind control does, to break free from it, is a war like no other....

and This, this is what I see transpiring in churches, on a large scale. It's the same thing, self policing, the doll clothes/make up, the tears of black, strings Always tied,

I am cutting them, for good. Bye Bye strings.



Kerli grew up in communist nation so she knows what both communism and child abuse, because she grew up with that too, is, this is why I so relate to her music. It is dark however--but you see, I grew up in darkness, I have tasted darkness, and so I know what it is and I know it's effects,

sugar coating it with candy syrup and optimism does not remove it's scorpion poison...

this is why, I could not wrap my mind around so much in Christianity, it's hard enough dealing with the Word of God, to discern who He is, in contrast to 'man's image of Him'...which is the one WE get into our minds that rings like tick tock orange.

To leave, the OPIATE, OF RELIGION,

is like this video, replace Lithium, with Opiate,

and you get it.



"I want to stay in love with someone...But God, I want to let it go...."

isn't That the truth.

Love,

Jane

BREAKING AWAY FROM THE DARKNESS INTO THE LIGHT Part 2

I will come back and write on this more later but something I wanted to comment on, in regards to why I am divorcing Christianity but not Jesus Christ,

one one blog, and I've seen this a few times, where they are discussing either hard comps/comps or the spiritual abuse in cults, etc., I'll often read, the minority case where though a family is submerged in such misogynist patriarchal abuse they cling to Jesus and do not get sucked up into the toxicity.  And the thinking that I get from that is the, well here's all this poison but hey, one didn't get poisoned so all is well, La De Da.
is
You know, for all the girls in Muslim lands who are hacked at young age [FGMs] and are forced married, there is one that escapes the cruelties and maybe she is even fortunate enough to be sold into marriage to a really nice attractive young man she falls madly in love with and they live happily ever after....

SO WHAT.

For one, there are MILLIONS who live in hell on earth...daily.

and they DIE WITHOUT HOPE.

I am I guess a tad sick and tired of the 'one situ' scenario that is so often used to downplay the rot that is killing many...look, Toxic is Toxic, if it kills, it needs to go.

It's the equivalent of saying, anti-freeze is a poison and numerous people use it and their dogs don't lick the leaking anti-freeze so it's o.k. to leave anti-freeze leaking on the driveway....

or

bleach is a poison and all households have it and kids grow up around it so don't worry about locking it up or safety latches or anything, it's only a Few who get into and drink it...

you know, this is the problem with the whole 'well I know such and such and They are just such a Wonderful Christian family who loves Jesus and while the Cult, obviously is killing hundreds of lives, why there's always that ONE who escapes unscathed...

so let's keep protecting the Toxins.

There should be a WARNING LABEL on religion... Christianity included, maybe more so because the abuse/harms are done under the mask of love/kindness, one big mock show trial that many WOMEN have come to find out the hard way, FAILS.

WARNING, COULD BE DANGEROUS TO YOUR SPIRITUAL, MENTAL, EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH, PROCEED WITH UTMOST CAUTION.

In solidarity,

Jane

BREAKING AWAY FROM THE DARKNESS INTO THE LIGHT

I didn't do the Sunday music, though I did listen, and God, awesome, love how Jesus can reach me through secular music, which yea, you know that is so contrary to what we are taught a.k.a. religiosity, LOL, and no I"m not advocating not using discernment or loving the things of the world or just walking with blinders on, we Do need to be discerning and careful about what we listen to and into our minds.  At the same time we can get over zealous,

but this I think lies in the area where what is not harmful/stumbling block to one can be to another, so for this reason, I will on one video make a comment, before posting...

well let me just comment this, on a lot of secular music I am aware of the deceptions, that use similar lingo that we use in Jesus, like light, darkness, so like I can discern how the enemy uses similar promises to those in darkness, for example, this video below, she prays, gets out of drab life into stardom, OK, we know, that being a famous star is not the Light that Jesus speaks of, ok, but the meaning I get from this video,

is how Jesus, can take us and Does take us out of the darkness of BONDAGE, not just to sin, but to being in bondage to others, including religious, to wolves, and He takes us into the Light.  Now that doesn't mean riches or stardom but in the Heavenly Places, we are the Children of God.  And yes, God treats His children well...

so, I like this video, from Kelly Clarkson, Break Away



I would change the words, to say, take a risk, take a chance, take the cross, deny the lies you've believed, and come, Follow me, into the light...out of darkness, out of drab, out of the bondage, into the Light, daughter...

something to that accord...but that's what this song means to me.

He gives me a new song to sing in my heart, He makes me free, to dance, to sing, after years of being silenced, not being heard...thank you Jesus.

another video, also with RAINN link, this one by Tori Amos, Live, song Little Earthquakes,

which is about triggers...if you don't know Tori's story, she was raised in Christian home, was raped one night after a concert I believe anyway she's done a lot of work on behalf of women, speaking out against the male entitlement/social beliefs about rape, she does NOT hold back, I really have been healed and empowered through so much of her music, because she says it like it is, doesn't care if it annoys those who want to keep a lid of silence on cruelty and it's effects on women's souls.

Anyway, this song, Jesus brought to my attention the other day, when triggers started and I was fighting the abyss, it's like a spiral, and anyway the trial of our faith, is like that, it's like little earthquakes...but you see, when we are on the Rock, though shaken, the foundation stays, He we can hold onto, but more,

He, holds on to us.



Tori's story here:

http://www.rainn.org/

"Little Earthquakes"

Yello birk flying
Get shot in the wing
good year for hunter
And Christmas parties
And I hate and I hate
And I hate and I hate
Elevator music
The way we fight
The way I'm left here silent

Oh these little earthquakes
Here we go again
These little earthquakes
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

We danced in graveyards
With vampire till dawn
We laughed in the faces of kings Never afraid to burn
And I hate and I hate
And I hate and i hate
Disintegration
Watching us wither
Black winged roses that safely changed their color

Oh these little earthquakes
Here we go again
These little earthquakes
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

I can't reach you
I can't reach you
Give me life Give me pain
Give me myself again

Oh these little earthquakes
Here we go again
These little earthquakes
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

Jesus knows what this one means to me...lyrics follow

"Precious Things"

So I ran faster

But you caught me here

Yes my loyalties turned

Like my ankle

In the seventh grade

Running after Billy

Running after the rain

These precious things

Let them bleed

Let them wash away

These precious things let them break

Their hold over me

He said you're really an ugly girl

But I like the way you play

And I died

But I thanked him

Can you believe that

Sick, sick, holding on to his picture

Dressing up every day

I wanna smash the faces of those beautiful boys

Those Christian boys

So you can made me come

That doesn't make you Jesus

I remember

Yes in my peach party dress

No one dared

No one cared

To tell me where the pretty girls are

Those demigods

With their nine-inch nails

And little fascist panties

Tucked inside the heart

Of ever nice girl

These precious things

Let them bleed

Let them wash away

These precious things

Let them break

Let them wash away

Dedicated to all Women, who are Sick, of their hearts in chains


"Crucify"

Every finger in the room
is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces
Then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach
I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell our now
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Just what God needs
One more victim
[Chorus:]
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
And my heart is sick of being in chains

Got a kick for a dog
Beggin' for Love
I gotta have my suffering
So that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter
He says will you ever learn
You're just an empty cage girl
If you kill the bird
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start
my own religion
Please be
Save me
I cry
[Chorus:]
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
And my heart is sick of being in chains

In solidarity and love, may healing, love and grace enmesh you today,

Jane