Finding My Goddess in God, In Christ Jesus, He is All I Need!

This is part of a journey-series I am writing, called Is God a Misogynist?

Am cross posting it here...

Finding my Goddess in God, in Christ Jesus, He is All I Need! Is God a Misogynist?
I have been wrestling this morning, well for two days actually, with God, His Word, in prayer,

about the role of women, the identity of women, in Christ. [I will explain what I mean about the finding my Goddess in Christ at the near end of this post]

And I do mean, wrestling, having it out, per se...while I won't go into all the details here [it would be really long if I did], I will say,

He is showing me, how So much of the texts have been misconstrued and can be also, read in the way that they are influenced by our Social Conditioning [patriarchy] and that, if we do not continue in prayer and in seeking the Holy Spirit to lead us into All truth, rather than listen to the voices of our culture, our churches, even other people,

those self-hate internalized self-abasement beliefs will speak to us, rather than what God's Word actually means, and this includes those scriptures that are most popular in use to force women into subjugation, e.g., Timothy, etc.

Is it ANY WONDER, SERIOUSLY, WHY SO MANY WOMEN, HAVE FORSAKEN CHRIST AND HAVE TURNED TO THE WAYS OF COUNTERFEIT?

That is another thing, reading Women's Space the other day, and may I say, once I had a lot of anger towards Heart but God has now placed an understanding and compassion in my heart towards her, though I have not told her this yet nor have I apologized as my words were so harsh to her I doubt seriously if any apology would be received, for that I truly do understand, we can't take back words,

it simply is not that simple, but we can pray, seriously, with all diligence, not in some better than thou paternalist way, NO, not what I am saying, but prayer in humility, acknowledging our sin and wrong, asking God to restore what we have aided in robbing, asking God to heal, what our words have wounded, asking God to teach us, why Jesus says, pray for your enemies,

not because you are Better than them, no, but so, you can see YOUR SIN, YOUR SHORTCOMINGS, and also, truly see Them as Christ sees them, not through YOUR EYES, BUT HIS,

and when you do this,

you change, your heart changes, and so now, I often go to Heart's place, read, and God speaks to me, a lot through many of her posts, and through this intercessory prayer has begun [spiritual warfare] on behalf of all women,

rather than simply just screaming at the world, God is showing me the power of prayer and how He really Loves Women, helping me to See how He does yes, see and has even in His Word, rebuked 'patriarchy' and He is showing me daily that what I have been conditioned by religion, is wrong, that God is not a misogynist nor does He demand that women become sado-masochists and self-hating, self-abusing, and that includes embracing misogynist abuse, just because you are a WOMAN, to glorify Him either. Suffering for doing good, Suffering for Being in Christ, that is one thing, Suffering in this self-debasing self-hate martyrdom type of 'femaleness' is NOT what Christ demanded of us, yet this is what we often hear and have been conditioned to believe, it is one of Satan's most clever of lies IN the church,

and it is, how we see God, our identity in God, and what yes, eventually leads to separation from God, not on HIS part, but on ours. The thing is though,

its not God that we are seeing, when we debase ourselves, simply because we are Female, no, its not the True God, its a counterfeit, and it is here, that we must stay in prayer without ceasing, in God's Word [that means, God's Word, NOT what this preacher says or that preacher or this man or that man, including your husband, it means, just that, IN Christ, IN God's Word, IN OBEDIENCE TO GOD, NOT MAN], so that we might have spiritual discernment through the Holy Spirit.

The problem is however, is that in the flesh, these things are so easily misunderstood, and why they are so easily, abused,

power especially, how they are so easily construed and rationalized to permit and to commit, the worst sins, sins that God was extremely vocal numerous times against, such as the shedding of blood, of playing God, in other words, and the best example I can come up with right now, on the top of my head, was when the church, in its embracing misogyny, killed thousands upon thousands of innocent women and girls, the 'witch hunts',

and in fact, guess what? These witch hunts are Still going on today, just in different ways, but that demon of misogyny is running rampant, posing as an angel of light in today's world, in many churches still.

But before I go on, I must also urgently say, there is also, another demon at work, the demon of counterfeit and that includes counterfeit liberation of women, because its not true liberation,

not even from self-hate, and its so sinister and so cleverly done that its very easy, to not see it. One must pray for discernment,

and this is not something that just happens overnight, because the conditioning and the lies of Satan [the father of lies] we have come to know so well, that and our sinful nature,

so in other words, what I am trying to say here, as I am seeking God, His Word, about my identity in Christ as a woman, about Woman made in God's Image, about the misogyny in our world today and the violence against women, and the indifference we often see in mainstream Christianity towards that violence, even justifications for, the misogyny, and also, tragic it is, even those who profess Christ, committing grave sin, against God's creation, WOMAN, WOMEN.

He is showing me in two ways, one, the conditioning and lies used in religion, and two, the counterfeit that we find in the world or in other beliefs.

Both however, produce the same results for women,

death, self-hate, fear, self-loathing, hate of men, and most of all

A HATE TOWARDS GOD.

That leads to this separation, and that is what I am wrestling with the most, is just how separated from God I became, [after becoming Christian years ago and then turning away] DUE to

the misogyny in the church, due to the abuse of scripture to abuse women, due to so many things and its not just women, its about the treatment of the poor, the treatment of the immigrant, our enemies, our politics, all of it. Though I shall have to add, so not to disrespect or use the Word of God wrongly,

that my own sin and selfishness was also a big part of my turning away from God, it Wasn't just the misogyny, the misogyny however, was one of the tools that the enemy used to rationalize in my mind,

rather than coming to God and staying in His presence and seeking Him, I rationalized my finding my 'own way' apart from Him. Its a good thing, He doesn't leave us, however,

His Grace is Abounding.

I wish I could sit here and say, that this is a one time deal, that I can pray and God reveal something to me and wow, its just like all over,

but conditioning, especially misogyny is not something that goes away with one prayer or one revelation NOR does rebellion, anger, hurt, disbelief, especially disbelief in the goodness of God go away because that is what conditioning and Satan's lies do,

they poison, they destroy faith. And the lower nature loves it, oh it loves it so much, to hang onto, the lies so that we don't want to come to God and repent, to truly allow HIM to work in us, for our own good,

so that others might too, see God's goodness and love and seek Him. No woman wants to seek God if they see God as a misogynist tyrant, not unless they are really into sado-masochism.

Oh, that's the Other thing, I should bring up, the conditioning into Sado-Masochism and in patriarchal teachings-religions this is the fruit that results,

not fragrance, not the fragrance of Christ, not the Resurrection Power of Jesus Christ that comes to give Live Abundantly to all who will receive of Him,

no,

but this counterfeit 'submission' and 'subjugation of women' in Religious Christianity [religion, not the Faith, Faith in Christ and in the Cross] leads to not the fruits that Christ desires, no,

it leads to something more that Satan desires,

sado-masochism, this total surrender to abuse, this surrender to being a sacrifice, not to produce Godly Sorrow or a body in which Christ can minister to others, no,

but this Worldly Sorrow, which brings Death.

2 Corinthians 7:10 For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. 7:11 For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter.

Sorrow, that leads to self-hate AS a WOMAN, not as a Sinner, read carefully, but sorrow that comes from the knowledge that one is WOMAN, suffering ONLY because She is WOMAN, as if she is inferior, evil, less than, subjugated,

is NOT GODLY SORROW, it produces not fruit, not the fruit of love, peace, understanding, joy, NO,

what it does produce however is despair, despondency, self-loathing, lack of faith, mistrust of God, a false belief in God meaning, not seeing God for who He truly is, and this type of sorrow, is Satanic, it leads to drugs, it leads to rebellion, it leads to self-abuse, including taking abuse from husbands and/or other men, it leads to suicide,

self-destruction.

That type of sorrow, heaped upon women by misogyny, by men, BY RELIGION, is not Godly sorrow,

Godly Sorrow works repentance, it bears fruit, to God, to Christ, In Christ, to Others,

meaning, if we allow God to work and trust in Him, Godly Sorrow, can be used for our good, His glory, and for the Kingdom of God.

So, in laymen's terms so to speak, a woman, being abused, physically, sexually, mentally by some jerk who demands that she 'submit' and she does in thinking that is what God demands of her,

isn't going to produce good fruit, nor is it going to produce Godly Sorrow. And its one of the most used tactics I have seen, to keep women down and oppressed and actually, even hating God,

in my experience, in the church. Its like seeing two women, in one body, one that is saying she loves God, another that is beneath the surface that says, how can you, how can you be so cruel.

And can we really be surprised then when we, ourselves or when we see women, saying, you know,

to hell with this God, to hell with this life of self hate and abuse because I am WOMAN, not because I am suffering for bringing the Gospel of Christ or even living for Christ, just because I have a vagina,

and they turn to other beliefs, counterfeits, altars to other 'gods' or

goddesses.

Because you see they can relate to Goddesses, those beliefs, they can relate because the Goddess relates to them, as women,

you see and that is why we are seeing so many, turn to the Goddess beliefs OR to other religions that are even MORE misogynist,

its not just that women are rebelling and don't love God,

no, its because there is a huge gaping wound in the hearts of so many women and by Whom?

By those, professing Christ, who have abused them and done all they can to destroy their souls for their own SELFISH DESIRES, SEXUALLY, FOR SERVICE, FOR POWER,

in the Name of Christ they have done this.

[other religions to this too and even more so but I'm concentrating here on Christianity]

So what is a woman to do, who loves God, but does not love misogyny or sado-masochism?

One, prayer, I am finding that without prayer, and I don't mean, prayer in some ritual way or prayer in some patriarchal way we've been taught/conditioned, I mean, pray to God as intimate as you can, besides He sees all anyway so why hide? And I'm finding EVERY TIME a word spoken, or something I read or hear brings that anger up to the surface, that anger at the dismissal of women, that indifference to women,

especially when I hear it by well meaning Christians,

Immediately, I go to God with it, and I am learning, keeping it in prayer to Him, in the Spirit of Humility at the same time, meaning, being ready to listen to Him and be obedient to Him, His Will,

but being honest, really, being honest,

He answers. He really does answer,

but only when you learn to sit still and listen, He can't speak to us when we are all in a rage, I've learned that too and I'm talking, that inner rage,

this is Why, every time, we sense that misogyny, we Must bring it to Him, He knows, He knows, He is showing that to me as well and He is working,

don't think He isn't. He is also showing me the importance of turning off our ears, our eyes, to advice,

seriously, rather than seeking this person or that person or that teacher, seek God, seek God,

seek Him through His Word, in Prayer, I can't emphasis how much I am learning just how important prayer is, pray without ceasing,

even when there is no feeling....keep praying,

because these things, are hard for me to explain and I am not a teacher, nor do I want to be one,

all I am doing here, is sharing with you, flawed being that I am, what I am seeing, how God is healing me, of so much,

taking fear away and doubt and yes, that self-hate that I didn't even know, was there, from social conditioning, patriarchy, misogyny, on levels I wasn't even aware of,

and just how much, it poisoned my relationship with Him. No wonder I walked away from Christ,

no wonder,

but it wasn't HIM that was doing all those things to me, in mind, spirit, body, it was never Him.

And I am learning NOT to be so quick, to believe every thing spoken by someone is true from God, referring to Christians here. Even if, we are not in a place where we are abused, mistreated because we are simply, women,

just the fact that so many women are mistreated, abused, horrifically slaughtered, raped, mutilated, it touches us, all of us women,

in a deep way, spiritually, even if we may not be aware, because God feels that pain, He feels that pain, no matter how many men want to say that God does not feel the pain that women feel,

that is a lie because God not only feels the pain He GRIEVES,

the HOLY SPIRIT GRIEVES,

every tear a woman sheds, every curse she screams at the heavens at God for making her a woman,

God hears, God sees,

every single one.

And God knows, the hearts of all men, all women, He knows, NOTHING is hidden from His sight, absolutely Nothing.

And Sister, let me tell you what else God shared with me, one of the scriptures that is so often abused, to abuse women,

they often don't read the rest of it [and they read it wrongly as well], but its on submission,

the relationship between husbands and wives, and here is the part, that most, don't even speak, or if they speak it,

they do so in this really fast way, as if, you might not pay attention to it, but Sisters, let me tell you,

it is POWERFUL, very POWERFUL, and it shows in a huge way, how God sees and will Deal, with MEN, who abuse women

1 Peter 3:1-7, WHERE Peter writes here about women in the same way, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives....[I'm not going to post the whole thing here because most women know it by heart, its been drilled into them, over and over and over...well look it up]

but what I want to focus on is the one part, that so many, like to 'skim over'

1 Peter 3:7 "Husbands, in the SAME WAY, BE CONSIDERATE AS YOU LIVE WITH YOUR WIVES [WOMAN], AND TREAT THEM WITH RESPECT. [what was that, Respect????] As the weaker partner and as HEIRS WITH YOU OF THE GRACIOUS GIFT OF LIFE [what is that, Heirs with you????],

now here is where it gets really good Sisters,

SO THAT NOTHING WILL HINDER YOUR PRAYERS.

Simply put, folks,

God will not honor the prayers or the paths of those men who abuse women, be it their wives, their daughters, any woman,

any man, who thinks, that he can be an abusive asshole, a misogynist, a chauvinist to women, and thinks that God is going to bless him and honor his prayers,

is deluded. There is another scripture about a man of wrath in the Old Testament whose wife sought God [she went to King David], that man was struck down dead,

God doesn't fool around, with misogyny. Nor child abuse,

eventually the man of wrath, the man who abuses, will have to deal with God's retribution.

NOW does that mean that we take that scripture and abuse men with it? NO,

NO and NO,

let me make That clear. [so that no one misconstrues or blasphemes God by what I say, I do not want to be a stumbling block], my point here is only to show women, to share with other women,

what God has been showing me, so that women will see, just as I have seen and am still seeing,

that Yes I can trust God completely, that I can come to God, as a Woman and know He identifies with me AS a Woman, and that I don't need, to seek

counterfeits.

I want to post here, a really good blog, here is an excerpt, this is for you women, who are in marriages, where there is abuse, or where your husband is demanding you submit, and put up, with his abuse, vices, etc., [and this can apply to all women, not just to Christian]

"Husband hooked on vices? Wife REPENT from your vicious self-effacement. Rise up and be help MEET!" http://godswordtowomen.wordpress.com/2008/04/09/husband-hooked-on-vices-wife-repent-from-your-vicious-self-effacement-rise-up-and-be-help-meet/

btw, no they are not blaming women, the blaming the victim for the abuse,

they are simply saying, what I am saying, that no, God does not demand you, to take all sorts of abuse just because you don't have a penis.

Here is another really good blog for women, Christian women [or other faiths] who are dealing with abuse, and are struggling with their image in God because of

http:
//www.godswordtowomen.org/rise_of_abuse_prophesied.htm

In closing,

I want to explain, what I meant, by finding my Goddess in God, in Jesus Christ. I did read through/seek or study, better term, Goddess beliefs, and even identified with some of the beliefs however, I simply could not believe they were more than mere mythology,

not that the messages weren't good, or positive, they were [well, not all of them are, some were very obvious where the source was] but, there simply was no power, I didn't find,

not saying this to offend or to start argument here, just saying, for me, it was like, just reading stories, there was no true life or presence, nothing. But I did learn a lot AND I did begin to question, so much,

and when I came back to my faith in Christ, I brought all those things to Him, not just repenting from looking towards other things but I brought them to Him and I asked Him, ok, then if YOU can identify with me the way they could, at least in reading about them, and if YOU can free me, etc., I won't go into all the prayers here but,

I took it to Him,

and He did and is still showing me, that He is everything, to me that I saw in all those Goddesses I read about,

through Nature, I see Christ, through music, I see Christ, through poetry I see Christ, all of it,

I can't begin to explain it all here and on some things, because they are so intimate I dare not less they lose something really precious,

but let me just encourage, all of you, to seek Him.

I will share one thing though,

there was this painting, I saw on a blog, won't say which, but it was a woman, under a tree, this tree touching her/comforting her, Mother Earth, that kind of image,

and here, the earth is being violated just as women are, the violence against women, is much the same, the violence against the earth,

that violence, that hate, that destruction of the life giving forces.

but then, God showed me the same image, but with one difference,

rather than the tree alone, bending down to caress the woman,

His hand, His Spirit [God is Spirit], the Father/Mother God, this Hand, was reaching all around, through the tree, to this woman, through the birds, to this woman, through the wind, to this woman, and all around her,

was this blanket...of comfort,

the Spirit that created Life,

identified with the woman.

And grieved, with her, at the assaults on her, on the earth, on life. As well, as this image,

also showed me, that while death, may seem powerful now, God, God is in control, Jesus has already defeated death and one day, He will wipe,

away

every single tear.

If we only will come to Him, and Believe.

Jesus came to proclaim the favor of the Lord.

The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD. (Luke 4:18-19)

God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3.16)

peace