VENTING

Why I am losing So much Respect for MANY, Women, of the Christian Faith...

I posted a post, but Decided to take it down...after thinking on it for a bit.  I don't LIKE it when I hesitate to Say it like it needs to be said, when I find myself Policing myself, because What I have to say Yes will Offend some...it really Needs to be said,

but it probably wouldn't be heard AND sadly, I now how the BRAINWASHING, YES YOU HEARD ME, BRAINWASHING through man's Dogma, how it makes Many women, STUPID.  OK, there I'll say that much,

so well I take the post down--I made the Decision long ago to Cut ties with the church...and I stand on that one, I think the church culture is Far from the teachings of Jesus, I think most of the doctrines are just man's phallic center Bullshit anyway, AND I JUST DON'T HAVE ANY GOOD THING TO SAY ABOUT RIGHT WING FUNDIE CHRISTIANESE 'CULTURE' I think it's backwards, infantile, Extremely Misogynist, and Legalist-Fascist as well as Racist.

But I've had empathy for the women--but Today, I hit a snag...a woman, I won't get into details, knows she's in an abusive situ with jackass husband,  her Son is on edge, a Son that is young adult by the sounds of it, 6 foot something, big guy, and the type of 'bring it' vibe was obvious in what this woman wrote,

I told her, It's dangerous, for you AND for him, you need to GET OUT NOW...

instead, it's the Usual whine whine boo hoo poor poor husband bullshit for starters, then the Oh well God and prayer and it won't ever get That bad excuse [heard That one before] and then the warning about the very Real possibility of the Son getting into it with the Abusive asshole of a Child Father, and uh, These things can get Very explosive with Someone getting hurt or worse, killed,

and it Does happen, every damn day in this country,

and what do I get in return?  How dare you talk Truth--other women [of Faith] come in with their 'oh poor poor dear, Coddle Coddle Coddle, and you know why it's So patriarchal if Son protects Poor Poor defenseless Mommy from mean ole Daddy,

and I'm thinking, WHO'S THE FUCKING ADULT PARENT HERE?

it triggered, in a huge way, it angered, One I KNOW this situation, been there, Done that, I know it all too well, and I know the Reality of the System, the System doesn't give a Damn if you believe in Fairy tales, as an ADULT it's YOUR responsibility to care for the Children, to Protect them,

NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
There is Nothing CUTE about a Son having to play Husband to defend Submissive Patriarchal Woman,

especially a Teen.

Find a safe place I told her--my posts got removed, but the Coddling ones, poor poor dear stayed,

you know, it just Pisses me off to no end how Women, Some women of Faith, will ENDANGER THEIR CHILDREN TO KEEP SOME STUPID ASS FAIRY TALE BELIEF that isn't even Scriptural to begin with.  Even if it was, it was WRITTEN BY MEN, FOR MEN, any thinking Brain can see that...

What I can't Stand about the Co Dependency Immaturity Child Mentality b.s. of many MANY Christian women, is how it Endanger's CHILDREN

and creates environments conducive [edit--addition] no, Leads and Protects yes Child abuse.

And you know what, Dammit, I don't CARE if men have been asstards for centuries, WOMEN WE DON'T TOSS RESPONSIBILITY OVER OUR CHOICES AND DECISIONS, WHERE CHILDREN ARE CONCERNED, JUST BECAUSE MENZ DO IT...[edit--thinking on this, I am not Blaming women for not leaving and letting men off the hook, because really it IS the MEN who are the Ones to blame--I know this, what triggers me, what infuriates me, is Women who obviously KNOW better, ok, not women who are young with no life experience but women who Do have some life experience and who Know by now that these abusive jerks are NOT going to change--when these women make Steps to go to  therapy or what have you to Save these marriages to men who are Clearly just manipulating and using this to Keep the women/children IN THEIR PRISON, and when Signs are clearly there--and These women KNOW it, and NOT that it's about them leaving or not, isn't really the point, sometimes they Can't leave, I understand this, because leaving often plays Into the power of the man, HE gets custody, it happens, a lot--but when they Deny the fact that the Children are in danger and don't take steps to Protect them, That's what pisses me off--it doesn't take a lot to get a Safe place for a child to stay a couple of nights--That isn't some hard thing to do...to work on getting the Children support/therapy, Screw the sorry ass husband--Take care of you and the Children, That should be FIRST PRIORITY, not the Man, not the Husband, not the Jerk who is treating you and children like shit--what I see in many Faith women is Women who are MORE WORRIED ABOUT HUSBAND, and the kids are just left to fend for themselves, even Worse, when the kids are left to worry about protecting Mom--That's the root of my outrage here--NOT because she is the Mother, and it's her job according to Patriarchal roles- no, but because the children Need an advocate, an Adult--and Women, if the Father isn't going to BE an adult--your concern shouldn't BE how to make him a better Husband, your focus should be Because you are a Parent-Adult--how to protect and care for you but most of all the Children--NOT the man, that Man is NOT THE CHILD...IF you have to do it Behind the man's back until you can get out then Do it--but Get the children Support, NOT let teen children be the Shield--and Especially using Sons as shields, because Patriarchal Religion teaches women to be Passive and only Men can protect, shifting this on Sons--who wind up in Prison [daughters too] because Mommy passive Christian HID behind the son -- because of some Gender Construct notion--NO, Mommy, you and Daddy are Parents, PARENTS, it in No way empowers women to play Child while risking Children--while Daddy-hubby gets to be an obnoxious spoiled brat abusive Ass--and I see a LOT of CHRISTIAN women playing this role--and it's just Screwed up, it really is, the world Yes doesn't Hold men accountable, WE know that--but you Got to DRAW THE LINE, SOMEWHERE.  Women in the days when they didn't have the right to Vote, had abusive husbands, they had church culture--but These women didn't worship at the phallic center while Sacrificing their children..they may have snuck or went behind the backs to Protect the children, they may have hid money, they may have found secret network groups, and they DID do those things, but the One thing they Didn't do, is believe this Ridiculous Notion that if they just prayed, coddled, took coddling from others while Enabling childish selfish men--that God would protect them--NO, these women Knew the score, they were Very realist, they didn't Have laws to protect them, they didn't Have systems that even Allowed them to mention abuse, they didn't Have job opportunities, but they Damn sure, didn't Worship at the Altar of Menz and Husbands, they didn't Feed into the Husbands are 'god' garbage we are seeing today, and they Didn't hide behind the children, they did All in their power to Protect them--even if that meant Sending those children off somewhere they were Safe from the wrath of Daddy--Not to day  though, Today I see women write/talk More about their Husbands, who is the Center, and the children, are left to hang,

and yea, It needs to be Called out, it needs to be Confronted, and it needs to Stop being 'excused'...and Women, you Don't help women in abuse, in Explosive situations [and esp when they Say it's explosive] with the 'poor poor dear', YOU aren't helping, YOU are enabling, Prince and Fairies are NOT going to come down and Magically save them from harm--and we Need to stop Pandering to the lies, the bullshit, and the Fairy Tale Myth--they belong in Children's books, NOT in advice to women and Damn sure not when some woman is Saying--the son is in the middle playing the Protector role, NOT in this day and age when more Children are killing parents, and winding up in Adult prisons--when I see Ideologies and Faith's pushing this bullshit--Damn Right,

I get Very angry.  NOT because we know the system is already Stacked against women, making it near impossible to leave many times or rewarding men with custody--NO, but Because there are more women Concerned with Pleasing Dick--rather than Caring for herself and Especially her children, who ARE depending on her AND on him--but Just because HE isn't being a Responsible Parent--does NOT give license, for the Woman to choose to neglect, and Especially because she's more concerned with Him loving her--HE ain't worth it, sorry, but he Just isn't worth it...Any man who is an ass to children, to their mother and in front of the children--isn't worth Shit...so Why the fuck do Women still look up to these assholes?  Why do women go on and on about Poor Poor hubby and Poor man needs therapy and poor man this, poor man that,

NO, POOR MAN NEEDS HIS ASS KICKED, AND HIS ASS NEEDS TO GO TO FUCKING JAIL.  PERIOD.  TILL HE GROWS UP--AND STOPS BEING AN ABUSIVE ASSHOLE--AND PRAY THEN, THAT THE PRINCE COMES, AND KICKS HIS ASS BUT GOOD--

because he's a Wuss, NOT a man--being a Sperm donor Abusive Ass Christian Bossy Jackass doesn't make a sperm tube a MAN...BEING A FATHER WHO CARES--WHO IS A PARENT, THAT'S A MAN.  Anything else, is just a boy stroking his penis still hung up in Puberty--Women Stop Pandering to them--and Stop Aiding situations where CHILDREN HAVE TO BE THE ADULTS--because MEN won't grow up.

Children didn't ASK to be created, they didn't ASK to be born--sometimes I just want to Scream at some women and say, GROW THE FUCK UP, OR ADOPT OUT THE CHILDREN...

because Really what it boils down to, is that Patriarchy teaches Women to choose Men over Children--MEN CAN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES

CHILDREN CANNOT.

And allowing a situation where a Son is being Protector--even praising that--is I don't know, makes me Furious,

son or daughter, his being a son isn't the point,

the Point is, being a CHILDISH WIFE-MOTHER ISN'T CUTE...I DON'T CARE WHAT THE REASON IS...NO MAN, IS WORTH THIS SHIT...NO MAN.

A couple of weeks ago, a 12 year old, shot and killed both his parents, attacked his younger siblings.  I don't ,know all the details in the case but I know it was a Christian household, in a Fundie community, and No one knew anything was Wrong, Oh nooooooo

but you know, I would almost Bet, there Were signs, I'd almost bet it was a Patriarchal marriage where Mommy really is WIFE-CHILD to a DOMINATING HUSBAND who ruled the roost and wife-child rather than step up to the plate and BE A DAMN PARENT-ADULT

instead Clung to outdated Dependency doctrine, and now they are dead,

and the 12 year old is going to Prison...

the Father is to blame as well--my Point here is not to place Sole blame on the Women--but WHEN there is Knowledge of Abuse, and there is Support offered, Advice, Someone telling you to at Least get a safe place the son can go so it Doesn't escalate or to Leave,

and they'd rather hear the Coddling and poor poor dear,

that to me is Childish, Irresponsible, and yes, a type of CHILD ABUSE.

Women, your Son should NOT be taking the role of your Husband, Protector, nor should your Daughter be taking the Role of your Mommy's Servant, Day Care provider, Maid or Slave or Wife substitute,

Submitting, Clinging, Coddling and REFUSING TO TAKE YOUR PART IN THE DYNAMICS THAT EFFECT MORE THAN JUST YOU--BUT CHILDREN,

is yes, Just as deplorable, in many ways, as the behaviors of Men.

It's ONE Thing when you Do know, you Do try, you Do intervene, and for money or his violence or what have you, you are stuck, I understand Those situations,

but I'm talking here about those Women who Rather than GROW UP AND BE A PARENT--OVER YOUR CHILDREN, you'd rather hang on to Please pray and Coddle me, at the EXPENSE OF YOUR CHILDREN, to save some Dead Marriage to an Asshole--at the EXPENSE OF YOUR CHILDREN, and you take NO STEPS TO SAVE YOUR CHILDREN,

YOU'LL TAKE THE STEPS TO 'SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE TO A LOSER'

BUT YOU SACRIFICE YOUR CHILDREN TO DO SO...

NO, I'm sorry, sorry I have to say this,

this is WRONG ON SO MANY ACCOUNTS...it's Hard for me to write this, I'd kind of like to just leave the original Vent post up--

BUT, I understand how damaging the patriarchal teachings of religion Are to women--I've been there...I know, what it is, I know what it is to Hang on to the hope that IF you just hold out and obey God and pray...things will change,  they Don't, and in fact, the Longer you stay the more Power he has, not only that when you Do leave, you already risk losing children--play into his hands, that risk goes Up, and NO the church does NOT care...they are THERE FOR THE MENZ...NOT FOR YOU AND DAMN SURE NOT FOR THE CHILDREN.

But what Gets me Peeved, is when Women DO KNOW, WHEN THEY'VE READ, DISCUSSED, AND THEY KNOW,

and yet they Still choose to NOT ACT to protect their children--because they Hang on to this Fairy Tale belief that God will magically Change Jerktard from a Beast to a Prince and the man will just bow and say Oh baby I'm soooo sorry...blah blah blah

yea What the fuck ever,

meanwhile the Kids get damaged for life--and in a situation where a near adult Son is on edge and it's escalating and Still the Mother is in denial,

I don't know--Stupid, all I can say it's just Stupid--but what Pisses me off, is when she is Told--this is Dangerous, get a safe place and leave NOW--

and she'd Rather hear Coddling--

and I know, that Son...is in a situation that needs intervention...

and religious others are Coddling her and saying, Oh poor poor dear--we'll pray

Fuck that--and we Wonder, why, a 12 year old boy Shot his parents, in a Christian community,

GEE, I FUCKING WONDER

IT'S CALLED

 DENIAL.

Jane

When Someone Says Exactly How you Feel and Says it Far Better than YOU Ever Could...

then you just Have to write it down so you never forget it.  I read this comment long time ago on the blog "Dead Men Don't Rape" and I have never forgotten it...

and Today, after leaving a forum I just couldn't stomach any longer, and wrestling with several conflicts over class and privilege, and how many who use the 'anti-God' agenda as a badge but of course, Don't argue or discuss ISSUES, oh no, just Attack the person hood of the one bringing them up like the cowards they are because you see This way, they can neatly Avoid looking at the hypocrisy and the betrayals to women BY OTHER WOMEN INCLUDING YES, NON-RELIGIOUS WOMEN and Rather than say, you know that's right, What can we Do about this to Prevent women from being harmed further,

instead it's the but God this and God that and Christianity this and Oh you need Help because how DARE YOU DON'T THINK LIKE US AND OH, YOU KNOW, WHY BECAUSE ONE 'CULT' THAT ANY ONE WITH ANY SENSE CAN SEE IT'S A MISOGYNIST 'JIM JONES' TYPE OF CULT, DOES THINGS A CERTAIN WAY THEN DON'T YOU KNOW ALL CHRISTIANS, ALL BELIEVERS IN GOD DO, BUT OH,

DON'T TALK ABOUT ANY 'OTHER' CULTURE OR BELIEF BEING MONOLITHIC

THAT ONLY APPLIES TO CHRISTIANS AND THOSE WHO 'BELIEVE IN A GOD'...

so, how to Respond to these group think cult of personality dogmas?  Well I don't know really, other than eventually one gets fed up with trying to Help or Advise women while fighting the GATE KEEPERS OF HELL OR WELL, VULTURES

who are Just there to prey on vulnerable women who Do leave abusive patriarchal religious Hawks, you get the Hawks then you get the Vultures and the Jackals, they all the same, but well, you just say, to Hell with it.

But one woman, I think, said it really well and I am going to Post a part of what she said here, because it rings So true, THEN, later, this week, I am going to Post, either another blog or a pdf file, of Suggestions on HOW to make it IF you, a Woman, with Kids, do decide to leave a Patriarchal Christian marriage, where Finances and Legalities and Housing are concerned AND if you don't make a six figure income nor are you a twenty something college student who has the Luxury of screwing around and doesn't have to Worry if CPS is at the door if they can't pay the electric bill...because the Reality is, forget what the Atheist and Anti-GOD Vultures tell you [and NO, working in sex industry ain't no picnic either...nor is screwing every Tom Dick and Harry such a good idea Especially if you've been abused OR if you have kids...forget what the pro-porn/being a ho is all empowerment B.S. LIES that many Vultures will try to tell you, because IF you do, God forbid wind up pregnant or with some asshole you can't get rid of, Trust me those Vultures won't be there to help, they'll off tail and split and run, and go off to find New Meat to push their Dogma bunk on...all the while, of course, remember, they are in it FOR The women, yea,

Right, Whatever.

So, though yes I believe in Jesus [though not always full of faith nor do I not have moments I question, I sure do] but I am not going to evangelize you nor tell you to Not believe, you'll get enough of that from others, trust me on that one...BUT what I am going to do, is do what I can, to tell you STRAIGHT UP, the Obstacles you Will most likely be faced with, IF you do NOT have support or are in a State where the programs are limited, there ARE things, you can do, that May help...I won't say, they will Always help, that would be a LIE, there ARE thousands of yes, Women who have left abusive marriages [both religious AND secular, forget what the atheist we hate God and Mother Vultures tell you, it don't matter if the abuse is under God will damn you or not, it Still hurts and it's STILL DAMAGING, to the Soul] and many women Yes, do wind up Homeless, losing their Children to either CPS or to husbands in our courts [a whole host of gender bias there], many who wind up with suck ass jobs and your teen girls may Still be stuck doing day care and the STRESS IS, VERY HARD,

if you Do NOT have family and an ex husband and worse, an ex cult community on your back, you're going to be dealing with a lot, and Yes, if some man [who could be nice but he could also be a predator pedo [it does happen] or just another abuser/who may be FAR worse, comes along and you're tired of eating mac and cheese and your carrying it all alone, guess what, those Vultures ain't going to be there, he will, and you'll most likely, like many women do, wind up with him..and maybe worse--it Happens All the time], So,

what to do if there Isn't the support or if you Don't make that much money or if you're out in some area where the only jobs are service sector, it's Those types of things that are NOT talked about, and well, they Need to be...not 'attacks on persons' but GOOD SOLID SUGGESTIONS AND NOT YOUR, OH HAVE AN IRA ACCOUNT, like, WTF seriously, like how many Single Parent women with an income of 19,000 a year are going to have anything left over for a savings much less an IRA account, you know,

so how Does on make it, with little Income?  Well, won't lie, it's not easy and sometimes one Doesn't make it...BUT,

there are those of us, who Have, made it, off the STREETS, and there ARE ways of survival, that even IF you're up against a wall with no support, there are things, that can Help...without having to drop your pants for the landlord [oh kid yourself not this crap happens to Single Low Income Women] or to bosses who you know, unless it's class action, sexual harassment yes Still goes in many small companies, or leaving your kids alone to work extra at night so you can eat OR having to turn tricks...you know, the things that numerous Women in this nation Do,

while the Academic and privileged Vultures with their anti-God agenda sit around at Starbucks [being nasty here but hey, after today, some of shit I've had thrown at me I'm taking my turn], talking about how horrible Patriarchy is and how we need to ban birth and well you know because only the Christians abuse and all that garbage, while they then talk about how horrible it is for Anyone to confront the abuses of girls in Islam because hey, that's Culture baby, leave THAT alone, why if it's culture it feels GOOD to have a man rape you when you're only 8, didn't you know that?  !  :0

Ah but anyway, don't fret...because there ARE thousands of women who have and still are holding the baggage while the 'you should do this and God that and we just are so evolved and progressive without Any moral taboos crowd walk past you when you're in the day labor line as if you're just invisible' and hey, don't you know, you're poverty struggles are Just in your Head anyway,

just yoga and Meditate them away then go have you a smoothie or orange julius then head off to the gym, Ha,
[of course the food bank will be handing you moldy bread, beans, maybe if lucky some old salad dressing and the only orange you'll get is the orange blocks on your car for those expired tags and the gym, you won't need it, public transit will take care of that for ya]
well anyway,

yea the Reality for thousands of Women who yes, DO LEAVE ABUSIVE HUSBANDS and who Find out, that it's NOT greener on the other side of the fence and all the 'yea it's all equality and free love/sex from here, you find out, are full of SHIT, and you're up to your neck in debt and the landlord is a knocking and then you're competing with a few other women begging for help for rent on Craigslist...and getting the 'stop your begging or get a job or you shouldn't have had kids you slut' emails [oh you wouldn't Believe how they treat Single Parent mothers out there],

but don't think the Vultures will be there--they won't, they've Done their job, they got you to leave AND turn on God.  So,

OK then...what to Do, well, it depends on the State, so I"m going to compile a list, suggestions, resources and other groups that may assist you...what you do with your faith, well, you know, that's between you and God.  I will post some links to some good sights of women and men who are NOT patriarchal assholes who believe in God, and if that works for you, good, there ARE good supports out there...if you just don't want to deal with God, that's fine too, no pressure here and love you anyway and let's get you the other help/suggestions you need.  IF you need them

for those who don't, well, yea I may be a bit unbalanced, maybe I need help,[you offering to pay, go for it], and maybe who knows...but I do know, what it is, to listen to the leftist Bullshit, live that life, turn against God, wind up on the streets, seeing the Reality and NO not just from College books to make me feel so good and liberal, and I know what it is to have to Sell myself, to Eat...

so, I don't give a shit about what the Vultures think or say...to Hell with them...but I did learn a few things, and I learned, from a lot of mistakes, So, IF I can help Prevent, someone else, from making those Same mistakes, and maybe SAVE someone a lot of pain...then that's what I want to do...

and as for the Vultures, I"ll close this post with this...because well, she just says it much better than I ever could.  From the blog, Dead Men don't Rape, from poster 'anarcha-feminist superstar',

"I’d like to add, however, that in my experience, the women who think feminism is all about them, the women who seem sort of uninterested in concepts like justice for all, seem to be suffering from something other than a case of mere selfishness. That is to say, they strike me as being invested in the current systems of oppression because they are almost uniformly, in nearly every way except their possession of female genitalia, privileged as fuck.

Rich, college-educated, white women might be willing to take a few knocks as women in order to make sure that rich, college-educated, white people keep running the world."

and to that I say,

Amen sister, ain't That the truth.

In solidarity

Jane  [p.s.  I'll start writing on the suggestions tomorrow, and will send a link to the Quivering Daughters, and other forums, and will add to it, I'd like to get a state by state resource list, again, this is for women, who are NOT making six figure incomes, who do NOT have the support, who Do leave and ARE low income...or barely middle class income, especially with three or more children...and it will be on housing assistance, what works, what doesn't, other coops, food banks/food sharing/sustainable living, etc., job training, the pros and cons of certain programs, alternatives to programs, transportation, etc...the things that are often NOT put in print, that many learn from trial and error...]

MY REPLY TO THE TRUE WOMENHOOD 'PUKE' FORUM...

In case, thou I doubt, any read here, Why I went off, on one poster in particular, with her Wink, God supports Ethnic Cleansing rhetoric...and Why I will Never post there Again, but what Gets me, is how They Don't see it, but I will say it here, as I doubt, Seriously, they'll post it on there...they usually don't.

My reply today:  [yes, I am angry, Darn right I am...]

Though, LOL, I Doubt so seriously this will be posted, YOU, moderator will read, so I will go ahead and post–I was Never going to come back and post again…I was That disgusted, literally, with the Silence, to something What said, that so many missed here but of course, Twisting My words and btw, No I would NOT want any one raped, but I was being Sarcastic in Addressing HER indifference, and her Winking–literally Winking, using God, to diminish, reduce, Justify ETHNIC CLEANSING,

her quote: The reason for killing everybody is to prevent an uprising on the part of the conquered people, because they remain loyal to their original leaders long after they’ve been conquered. Men remain loyal to their rulers. Women remain loyal to their husbands, etc.

Even young boys remain loyal to their fathers, and, when they grow up, they will seek to avenge their parents by killing the children of their conquerors.

However, the same rule does not apply to young girls. Girls and boys in the ancient near east had very different upbringings, and very different personalities. _____

then her later, I guess God is a Genocidal Maniac

END OF HER QUOTE...


Well, Gee, lets see, so I came back at her with take that to my hood and tell that to the women/men here, who ARE descendants of Peoples who HAVE BEEN VICTIMS OF ETHNIC CLEANSING,
Did I get Angry, YOU BET…
and I don’t care if she comes back with the I’m Hispanic, Rwanda is not Black[ that should be they are non-white],  but Thousands of WOMEN AND GIRLS WERE RAPED/BUTCHERED UNDER ETHIC CLEANSING…
THERE ARE NO JUSTIFICATIONS FOR ETHNIC CLEANSING AND MASS RAPE…
and I will stand on it, with NO APOLOGY and it should have INFURIATED ANYONE HERE,
for Anyone, to WINK at Ethnic Cleansing, using God,
but not ONE PERSON, NOT ONE, CAME BACK…NOT A ONE….
and You all claim to KNOW God?
Do you have ANY IDEA, HOW INSENSITIVE THAT WINK WAS—DO YOU?
Well let me tell you, THEN you MIGHT UNDERSTAND THE REMARKS I MADE, TO HER, ABOUT HER WHITE PRIVILEGE, HOW ONE DAY THERE WILL BE RETRIBUTION [it's fact, the Bible even says it you Don't go raping/pillaging other nations and be Indifferent to their Suffering and NOT expect one day there NOT to be retribution and in THIS COUNTRY we are headed for it--IF that makes you all Angry I am sorry, but WE are headed for it and we yes sad to say--in a lot of ways, have it coming...from the Ethnic Cleansing of the Native American Indians to Slavery of Asian women [for sex slavery--in early America to today--FACT], to Slavery of African Americans to Jim Crow Laws [and the rapes there of women of color] TO THE POLICES of THIS nation of forced sterilizations [that still go on] OF WOMEN OF COLOR,
to the coups and wars [including yes our men RAPING GIRL CITIZENS OF OTHER COUNTRIES BECAUSE HEY, IF IT'S WHITE AMERICA UNDER 'GOD' IT'S OK, RIGHT, WINK WINK],
that our policies have supported for our WEALTH, SECURITY AND STATUS…and OIL, oh yea OIL,
and to Hell with all those THOUSANDS OF WOMEN, ASIAN, AFRICAN, SOUTH AMERICAN, who were raped and ganged raped, in All the wars WE have supported, those ETHNIC CLEANSINGS,
wink wink [do you GET IT YET SISTER WITH YOUR SAFETY AND PRIVILEGE]
with OUR TAX DOLLAR SUPPORT and VOTES,
oh yea, to the Militarization that OUR BOYS helped in the Camps of Forced Prostitution [all over Asia, FACT, those Japanese Comfort women have Never gotten Justice to this day],
to the Bosnian women [whom I worked with] who were gang raped/ETHNIC CLEANSING and with OUR government REFUSING ARMS TO THEIR PEOPLE TO DEFEND THEMSELVES
and you, ‘what if’ want to WINK, GOD SUPPORTS THAT DUE TO ‘CULTURE DIFFERENCES’
AND not UNDERSTAND my rage?
I work in Advocacy for Thousands of Women of Color around the world who have been Horribly Raped and Brutalized and LIVES DESTROYED because of ETHNIC CLEANSING…OFTEN SUPPORTED BY USA POLICY VOTED FOR BY RIGHT WING,
I have Talked to Mother’s whose daughters were Horribly gang raped–
and YOU wink?
So, Sure, you go ahead and Demonize me, You’re all Upset about what I said–and you just can’t Figure out Why…
go ahead–but not ONE OF YOU, EVEN THOUGHT, OF WHAT IS WRONG, WITH THE WINK WINK AND THE WHOLE JUSTIFICATION FOR ETHNIC CLEANSING AS RIDDING OF ‘CULTURE DIFFERENCES’
and to that, how THAT MUST SOUND, to the MILLIONS OF GIRLS AND WOMEN who yes, Were horribly raped, lives destroyed, watching their children boiled on Stoves [Bosnia] and how they must Feel to hear,
ANY, ANY, JUSTIFICATION OF THAT, UNDER
GOD?????????
And you Demonize ME?
For throwing your Insensitivity Back in your face, to try and Show you, if that woman
WAS YOU….WAS YOU SISTER,
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?
But oh no, NONE OF YOU COULD EVEN SEE THAT, COULD YOU?
And you don’t know what Privilege is?
Tell your demonization and how Offended you are about Me, to the
women and girls of the Congo
women and girls [who have been BETRAYED by OUR government in AFghanistan by OUR silence of War Dogs who brutally gang rape them, little girls every SINGLE DAY--]
women and girls in Juarez, over 1000 a YEAR, working in OUR SLAVE SWEATSHOPS gang raped, tortured, THEIR BODIES DUMPED IN OUR FIELDS, MANY OF WHOM LEFT THE SOUTHERN CONE [CHIAPAS] THAT YES, AND IN CENTRAL AMERICA WHERE ETHNIC CLEANSING IS GOING ON…
DUMPED LIKE THEY ARE NOTHING BUT ‘TRASH’
I have MET THESE MOTHERS OF DAUGHTERS AND SEEN THEIR TEARS,
you GO TELL THEM HOW OFFENDED YOU ARE AT MY RAGE FOR THEM…AT YOUR, INSENSITIVITY,
WINK WINK I GUESS GOD IS A GENOCIDAL MANIAC BECAUSE IT’S JUST FOR CULTURE DIFFERENCE…
YOU GO TELL IT TO THEM.
HOW DARE YOU,
and then, to have the Gall, to GRIPE, ABOUT OPPRESSION OF WOMEN WITHIN THE CHURCH!!!
YOU don’t get it, do you?
And NO, it wasn’t me, who posted before and caused Moderation–sorry, this has been first time, I ever posted here…so IF you are going to Twist what I say, and I do believe numerous times I was civil and went OUT of my way–to try to communicate,
if YOU ARE GOING TO DEMONIZE ME–then, read All of it…NOT just what offends you because I HIT a Nerve,
The Definition of Ethnic Cleansing [as yes, Genocide]
Genocide: The deliberate and systematic destruction of a racial, political, or cultural group.
Ethnic Cleansing: The elimination of an unwanted group from a society, as by genocide or forced migration.
Mass RAPE is Always, one of The biggest Tools to Destroy Whole Societies and Races in Ethnic Cleansing…Women, as Victims,
and You, What if, Winked at that…
oh, no, No way, was I going to Let that, sit. No Way…
btw, I am married to a JEW—ORTHODOX JEW–WHO KNOWS OT LAW BETTER THAN MOST OF YOU,
WHO, BTW, AGREES WITH ME–OF COURSE, THE JEWS HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT
HOLOCAUST, GENOCIDE AND ETHNIC CLEANSING ARE
NOW DON’T THEY?
You BET I’m angry, Any one who SAys to know what Mercy and Love is, in Christ,
SHOULD BE–WHEN THOUSANDS OF WOMEN TODAY ARE BEING RAPED AND BUTCHERED, UNDER ETHNIC CLEANSING AND HATRED…
and God, WINKS AT THIS?
And you don’t know Why I got angry?
Don’t worry about me posting here, I won’t bother–I wouldn’t
WASTE MY TIME.
good bye
Jane --

update,

OH, it gets better, Rather than the moderator Posting the above, so I could not just defend my position and Why I said what I did--and Point to the ISSUES,

instead, it was I read all her posts and well she is just , Ready for this, IS IN PAAAAAIIIIINNN and well Pray for her and she is growing and

ok let me VOMIT NOW.

Good Grief, does it ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ABOUT 'MY PAIN',

uh, What part of ETHNIC CLEANSING GOING ON TODAY--GENDERCIDES, GOING ON TODAY,

THEY DON'T GET?

DO THEY LIVE IN A BUBBLE?  HEY GOD, CAN I LIVE IN THAT BUBBLE TOO?  JUST PRETEND THESE WOMEN AND CHILDREN DON'T EXIST, CAN I IN SOME WAY, FIND IT IN ME TO NOT CRINGE, WHEN I READ ONE MORE STORY OF A WOMAN/HORRIBLY GANG RAPED BECAUSE OH MY GOSH
HER CRIME

SHE IS A 'WOMAN' OF ANOTHER RACE, NATION, ETHNIC GROUP, RELIGION?  COUNTRY"

NO, I guess I can't...so, I GUESS,

I AM GOING BACK, 100% TO THE 'SECULAR RADICAL FEMINIST GROUPS, WON'T BOTHER TELLING THEM ABOUT JESUS CUZZ WELL, THEY'VE SEEN THE 'FRUITS OF CHRISTIAN AMERICA JESUS' AND I COULDN'T IN 100 YEARS UNDO THE 'DAMAGE' DONE UNDER CHRISTIANITY-CHURCHIANITY, NO WAY,

BUT, I COULD JUST KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT, AND DO SOMETHING--TO HELP HEAL, ALL THOSE GIRLS/WOMEN/CHILDREN WHO ARE, SADLY, SUFFERING DUE TO

IMPERIALISM, AMERICAN IMPERIALISM
PATRIARCHY
PORN/PORN CULTURE
MILITARIZATION AND THE WHOLE 'BOYS I GOT DICK AND MIGHT CLUB' AND ESP THE RAH RAH WE AMERICAN ENTITLED TO RAPE CLUB [OR IGNORE DESPOTS WHO DO TERRORIZE WOMEN ON MASS SCALE BECAUSE HEY HEY BABY IT'S $$$$$ AND TRADE IS SOOOOOO GOOD]
FEMINIZATION OF POVERTY
RAPING OF LAND/RESOURCES AND LABOR
FORCING PREGNANCIES/REFUSING REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS SO THAT WE HAVE CHEAP LABOR--SO WE CAN BUY THOSE 5.OO TO 12.00 TEESHIRTS MADE BY SLAVE WOMEN BECAUSE HEY, WE ARE 'SPECIAL' AND GOD LIKES US

ETC ETC ETC

I AM GOING BACK TO THE SECULAR, TO WORK WITH THE WOMEN FIGHTING ALL THESE HORRORS...FIGHTING FOR HUMAN RIGHTS,

AND I SUPPOSE, GOOD BYE CHRISTIAN 'WOMEN CHURCHIANITY' CUZZ WELL, I JUST DON'T  BELONG WITH YOU...NOT IN AMERICA, THAT'S FOR SURE,

AND THE REALLY FUNNY THING IS, I DON'T WANT TO....BELONG WITH YOU.

MAYBE, THAT'S JUST MY PAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNN TALKING THOUGH,

YA THINK?

[there ARE a few Christian women who Do Love Christ who have NOT drank the Culture Imperialist Kool-Aid...I love them, two of them Stood up for me on that forum---and I will never forget it, to them, Mara and Madame, Thank you, you truly are, an Example, Light, Christ shines in you,

He really does.

I don't feel so loved by God right now--I really don't, but, oh well--I see the faces of the many women I have met, who have worked in our slave camps, been raped/ [one woman raped by US military in Chiapas, gang raped and our gov covered it up and I met her, face to face], one family I met [a man actually] from Croatia who I learned so much about the horrors of the camps there, the few Muslim women I know personally who have seen Horrors that we can't begin to imagine, living with -- with NO hope,

I see their faces, and many more, hear Their voices, I do love them, I do care, and That, is where my heart is...they may not be Christian, they may not be American, they may not be White, but you know something,

I am a rotten sinner [and have done unmerciful horrible things] to the core and I don't see, how they are any less deserving of mercy or love or relief--than any American Christian woman...and I will NEVER,

TRY TO JUSTIFY, 'ETHNIC CLEANSING' IN SOME SICKO RELIGIOUS WAY---NO WAY,

SO, I GUESS, I'M GOING TO BE AN OUTSIDER, OF THE WHOLE CHRISTIAN CULTURE IN AMERICA...

OKIE DOKIE THEN--

and according to many Christians, I'll go to hell as a result--well, hmmmmmm, lets see, heaven with white elites who don't see anything Wrong with rape/gang rape/ethnic cleansing and can distance from the horrors,

or, to hell, with those who for no reason other than the Color of their Skin or their Nation or their Class or Ethnic Group or Religion, are horribly butchered, raped, tortured, because they were BORN THE WRONG PERSON...IN THE WRONG GROUP, THEY ARE WOMEN WHO ARE PROPERTY OF THE WRONG MEN...

well, hmmmmmm

guess I'll go to hell then.  Because really, IF you take that logic, what I read and hear, so much, on Christian forums Including those who Gripe about the Comps and Patriarchs,

I really, don't see much difference in the cold blooded indifference?  Which, well, guess that leaves me, back to questioning,

who the Hell are you really Jesus?

Maybe I don't Know anymore...but I know this, the voices of Women, who have been Erased, due to Patriarchy and Religious Justifications for Ethnic Cleansing...THEIR VOICES, THEIR LEGACIES,

IN CASE, ANY 'JESUS' PEOPLE, GIVE A DAMN...

AFTER ALL, IT'S JUST WOMEN AND WELL WOMEN ARE JUST CUM DUMPS ON A RACE-HIERARCHY WORTH LEVEL, RIGHT?????

http://www.womensspace.org/phpBB2/category/erasure-of-womens-lives/ 

this is what I know--so much for LOVE eh?

Whatever

Bear with Me while I Work through Some Anger at the Patriarchy and Lies

Lately I've been letting loose at the mouth/writing a bit, prayed about this last night, while I am yes, really confronting what I strongly believe are a lot of misogynist and horrid doctrines and well the entire church culture is warped, and the harm it's caused in my life, dealing with the lost or stolen years that I can't get back, the anger, rage,

because I believed in a lot of those doctrines Even when I wasn't following Christ [backslid for years] I still believed in them and they did damage...internalizations you know so in coming back and dealing with these doctrines and well, the Culture more than anything, a lot of that anger is coming to surface and well, the Realization, of just how much I was indoctrinated...

anyway so I pray last night and I am separating from the culture per se but I do need to be careful to not allow myself to be pulled into another abyss of hate, wrath and anger that is just the other side of the coin. I removed one foul word [from the side bar] but not all from the blog posts [there were a few] and because, well,

the Anger and Rage are real...from real Pain, not just my own but what I identify with that Other women feel and that I know because I read their stories and hear them...and for too long we have been Denied our rage and we have a God right to yes, Anger at being violated. WE sure do, it's though to be angry and sin not. I don't walk the perfect life and I'm NOT going to pretend here that I do,

because I am human, not saying that in this cliche crap way but I bleed, crap, vomit, cry, hurt, desire, just like you, just like every other human in this world, and one thing that really annoys me about Christiandom is this tendency to put on these false airs that we are somehow now that we are Saved just immune from these things...sure we are to rise above them and not be controlled by them but you know something, that takes God's power and walking through things and dealing with things and they don't come with formulas and they Sure as heck don't come through false, phony Religious pious pretense.

Sometimes I like to use not so good language, I like the grit because grit to me is Real, IF someone was torturing me I don't think I'd be whispering this pious feminine 'ouch'!. I'm sure I'd be screaming and probably begging God and probably even yelling at God, I don't know,

right now I can tell you I wouldn't be going, OH that's o.k. God loves you and I forgive you and I'm just fine,

hardly. I'd have to pray like mad and just hope, see That to me, is Real...and every day, I do get, yes, better at handling the rage, I'm not Anywhere like I was, two years ago. But I do have those moments...

so why do I not put up this blog etiquette pretense goodie two shoes, why? Because don't we have enough Lies in our world? The reason I think people don't embrace Jesus is because there has been this false piousness crap or this Overcompensation crap to try to get people to accept,

and well, one, I'm just too dang old to play those games and two, I know what my nature is you see because I did backslide and not only that I was Horrible and so I know, the ONLY reason I am even back at a place of faith IS BECAUSE OF HIS GRACE AND NOTHING MORE THAN HIS MERCY...

I know that...so for me to sit here and put up this religious pretense would be even more a LIE to you and to myself and to God. One thing I learned, outside of the 'religious church box' is what that scripture meant by the 'honest and truthful heart' that keeps the word bears fruit in time....

that is After the 1. seed is stolen from Satan from the heart, 2. heart is rocky and no root so seed can't grow and 3. heart is full of weeds that choke out the word/seed --weeds is cares, strongholds, what have you...Then, its 4. honest and truthful heart,

you got to get to the honest and Truthful heart First---going through the four stages....not, four types of People,

like it's taught.

There is no such thing [spiritually speaking where God is concerned] as a good/honest heart Without regeneration/work...Religion hides truth by always putting up this false goodness pretense to Avoid what is really in the heart, which Jesus says is Evil...for years, I professed the 'good' when in actuality, there was nothing Good in the heart,

know what I mean...so I'm working at that place where I'm dealing with Truth, about myself, the world, what I learned, doctrines, sorting through the manure so to speak...and being a Woman, I also have to sort/dig through the piles of manure in misogynist and patriarchal doctrines.

So, occasionally when I realize--just how much the internalizations have done damage, yea, I get mad, I get really mad, sometimes I get mad at God.

So, I'm working through some things...but I will say this, God is good, He is patient, He always works with me, I sort of can tell more now when I do something that pisses Him off or displeases Him, the Way I may address something or voice my rage/anger...I know that, at the same time,

it's important not to hide that anger because there are so many women who are wounded and people who are hurting and if we always just put on this optimist phony religious fake--how will anyone really, see God, not us? It's not ME that improves, you see,

it's God working IN me...It really is, hey I'm just like you, ok maybe not, maybe I'm worse than you...probably am, I come from the wrong side of the tracks and well, I just not going to hide it anymore. But I know too, learning what Love is and what Love isn't,

that words are to Life you up, not tear down...I still don't know how to always walk that and not be untrue to truth, you know, where hurt and damage and harm come in...I do NOT in any way, want to Diminish the harm and hurt and reality of the lives and experience of women, of myself as a Woman...to fit into some nice little neat Christian mold, I can't stand them in fact,

because Truth is, it's NOT easy, to walk in Love and to sort through what it is to love thy enemy than not being a passive recipient of abuse especially where gender constructs in religion are concerned...women have been sold so much abusive and self-debasing garbage in religion that is not what Christ told us,

but it's not easy, to always sort....to discern.

But I think, being Honest, really brutally honest [no matter how ugly it is] is a start--how else to get there, until one is honest,

to see the darkness and bring it into the light.

I spent Years avoiding that darkness in myself and faking my way through or avoiding and transferring to other things like political to not see, to not deal, to not feel, really,

and it killed, rotted, spiritually killed and I won't do it anymore. I want what is Real, and that is when for me, I learned Jesus Was real,

not some figment of imagination [though I have my moments I question] and not just some man made religion [I questioned that a lot too] but I learned, He was and IS real, when I dropped the bull and pretense and lies and just got honest with Him,

about ALL OF IT,

so, yea, the language isn't good, the thing is, about anger, that I got to be careful with is that anger is like a fire...you put a little kindling in it and it can get out of control, and spreads...while women do yes, have a lot of anger,

if we are in that fire of anger, the wrath [the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God] well, we can't really be free on the inside nor can we truly liberate anyone...because that fire will just burn us up. It clouds our thinking...

so, I"m learning, bit here, bit there, but to get to that place I also have to find healing and that was another thing that being Religious, denied me. The formulas, the claiming, the oh I forgive [when in heart I was angry at God because it was like this having to 'accept' their abuse at my expense and this belief that God made me to be a piss toilet for many] and well, had to get healed of a lot of that and it took getting OUT of religion, to get to that place.

It's not 'wisdom' that comes from age either because I know a lot of older people who are bitter to the core....

it really does come from being real, from dropping pretense and just being truthful with God, with one's self, ugliness and all, seeing that nature and then, seeing, HIM, what HIS Grace really is,

and I'm learning that NOW. But old memories and life experiences often cloud what I see in Him, we don't live in a world of Love...oh, there is 'good' but that good is always got that taint of evil there,

to see Pure Love in God, takes time, time in prayer, searching, questioning, wrestling and waiting...being broken, being restored.

So, yea, if you come here and think, well how can she be this but that..well, because it's real, that's why...because I walk through and sometimes it's good but something can trigger [past abuse, long story] and the old stuff comes up and I find there is Something else, not dealt with...or sorted through,

or healed.

I want to be real here...so you can see, maybe too so you can feel comfortable in your own skin and know, God loves you where you are right now, where you are at....

I believe being born again is a process...not just a one time Boom then it's done and you're all fine and dandy now...oh no, it IS yes, a dying daily, to the old nature, but there is more to it than that, IF there wasn't,

why would Paul write, the letters he did? Put away from you this, this, walk in love, be kind, etc., IF it was just instantaneous, there would not be Need for that, would there?

But it's a growth process--for women, we've been told to fit into these nice little submissive quiet boxes and to just put up with what ever crap was dished/is dished out to us AND hearing on top of that that we are inferior, evil, put here to be fields to be plowed, etc etc etc and all by the Hand of GOD,

you know, then try to reconcile that with the Love of God? It can't be done...unless one, Denies and lives a cognitive dissonance and lies to herself...stuff, stuff, stuff,

or

just slowly dies inside, a soul death that will turn into hate, that is Projected onto others and in this self righteousness way and her empowerment will come from making Darn sure no other woman is free or empowered but just as miserable as She is,

or,

she'll just say to hell with it and totally reject God and go off to something else.

I've gone through, all of those, but I had some experiences where I really can't deny God, I just can't, but I can't deny what I know is real either, so what to Do then?

Well, I"m taking it to the Light, being real, questioning, writing, advocating, and plugging through the muck and mire and well--He is merciful and He does answer...He really does. He answered me on a lot of things last night--I can't stress enough, how necessary to a woman's spiritual and soul self to just sit with God, with Jesus, and just be real and pray and talk to Him and not tell Him what Religion says [that includes those mental doctrines we hang on so dearly too in denial because we're afraid to say God this sucks I don't like it I think you're horrid here, you know],

but IF you come to Him, and just be real, and Seek Him, He IS FAITHFUL,

he's not a Man nor is he Like Man...He don't ridicule or condemn or reject or remind you of your 'woman' status,

the enemy sure will, and I had to learn to Press ON through those lies/guilt...to keep pressing and to keep seeking.

I wish I could sit here and tell you that all is fine and well and that Wow, I found it and now I'm fine, but I am learning too, it don't work that way either...because one little thing, said or remembered or something happens and it's like I'm back to square one all over again,

but I am seeing it's not as bad as before....but I do struggle with Doubts, I do have those moments I think, you know this is all just bunk and I"m crazy...or times I just want to rebel, oh yea I have those, or I'll rationalize [probably more the latter], or procrastinate,

there are dark times--where I just want to curl up in a ball and freeze into ice, to make it all go away,

but I am seeing that He reaches me, to call on Him, even when I don't want to...and He is there...He really is and last night,

He told me this...I cried and cried about the woman haters and God did you really hate women and question after question and Why don't you or Why didn't you have a female counterpart or Something female women could identify with...I go through those moments [though He has shown me a lot in scripture about His yes, female side--God is Spirit, not male or female but I believe, both..hard to explain],

and one thing, that came to me, the Patriarchs, HATED JESUS, the small voice said, they Hated me...never forget that, the Patriarchs rejected God on Earth, they rejected Jesus. The Patriarchs...

don't Define who God is by what Patriarchy says...

go to the Source, that, is what I am learning...and it is, precious...it really is. Breathe of Life, it really is...

Love, in Solidarity,

Jane