VENTING

Why I am losing So much Respect for MANY, Women, of the Christian Faith...

I posted a post, but Decided to take it down...after thinking on it for a bit.  I don't LIKE it when I hesitate to Say it like it needs to be said, when I find myself Policing myself, because What I have to say Yes will Offend some...it really Needs to be said,

but it probably wouldn't be heard AND sadly, I now how the BRAINWASHING, YES YOU HEARD ME, BRAINWASHING through man's Dogma, how it makes Many women, STUPID.  OK, there I'll say that much,

so well I take the post down--I made the Decision long ago to Cut ties with the church...and I stand on that one, I think the church culture is Far from the teachings of Jesus, I think most of the doctrines are just man's phallic center Bullshit anyway, AND I JUST DON'T HAVE ANY GOOD THING TO SAY ABOUT RIGHT WING FUNDIE CHRISTIANESE 'CULTURE' I think it's backwards, infantile, Extremely Misogynist, and Legalist-Fascist as well as Racist.

But I've had empathy for the women--but Today, I hit a snag...a woman, I won't get into details, knows she's in an abusive situ with jackass husband,  her Son is on edge, a Son that is young adult by the sounds of it, 6 foot something, big guy, and the type of 'bring it' vibe was obvious in what this woman wrote,

I told her, It's dangerous, for you AND for him, you need to GET OUT NOW...

instead, it's the Usual whine whine boo hoo poor poor husband bullshit for starters, then the Oh well God and prayer and it won't ever get That bad excuse [heard That one before] and then the warning about the very Real possibility of the Son getting into it with the Abusive asshole of a Child Father, and uh, These things can get Very explosive with Someone getting hurt or worse, killed,

and it Does happen, every damn day in this country,

and what do I get in return?  How dare you talk Truth--other women [of Faith] come in with their 'oh poor poor dear, Coddle Coddle Coddle, and you know why it's So patriarchal if Son protects Poor Poor defenseless Mommy from mean ole Daddy,

and I'm thinking, WHO'S THE FUCKING ADULT PARENT HERE?

it triggered, in a huge way, it angered, One I KNOW this situation, been there, Done that, I know it all too well, and I know the Reality of the System, the System doesn't give a Damn if you believe in Fairy tales, as an ADULT it's YOUR responsibility to care for the Children, to Protect them,

NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
There is Nothing CUTE about a Son having to play Husband to defend Submissive Patriarchal Woman,

especially a Teen.

Find a safe place I told her--my posts got removed, but the Coddling ones, poor poor dear stayed,

you know, it just Pisses me off to no end how Women, Some women of Faith, will ENDANGER THEIR CHILDREN TO KEEP SOME STUPID ASS FAIRY TALE BELIEF that isn't even Scriptural to begin with.  Even if it was, it was WRITTEN BY MEN, FOR MEN, any thinking Brain can see that...

What I can't Stand about the Co Dependency Immaturity Child Mentality b.s. of many MANY Christian women, is how it Endanger's CHILDREN

and creates environments conducive [edit--addition] no, Leads and Protects yes Child abuse.

And you know what, Dammit, I don't CARE if men have been asstards for centuries, WOMEN WE DON'T TOSS RESPONSIBILITY OVER OUR CHOICES AND DECISIONS, WHERE CHILDREN ARE CONCERNED, JUST BECAUSE MENZ DO IT...[edit--thinking on this, I am not Blaming women for not leaving and letting men off the hook, because really it IS the MEN who are the Ones to blame--I know this, what triggers me, what infuriates me, is Women who obviously KNOW better, ok, not women who are young with no life experience but women who Do have some life experience and who Know by now that these abusive jerks are NOT going to change--when these women make Steps to go to  therapy or what have you to Save these marriages to men who are Clearly just manipulating and using this to Keep the women/children IN THEIR PRISON, and when Signs are clearly there--and These women KNOW it, and NOT that it's about them leaving or not, isn't really the point, sometimes they Can't leave, I understand this, because leaving often plays Into the power of the man, HE gets custody, it happens, a lot--but when they Deny the fact that the Children are in danger and don't take steps to Protect them, That's what pisses me off--it doesn't take a lot to get a Safe place for a child to stay a couple of nights--That isn't some hard thing to do...to work on getting the Children support/therapy, Screw the sorry ass husband--Take care of you and the Children, That should be FIRST PRIORITY, not the Man, not the Husband, not the Jerk who is treating you and children like shit--what I see in many Faith women is Women who are MORE WORRIED ABOUT HUSBAND, and the kids are just left to fend for themselves, even Worse, when the kids are left to worry about protecting Mom--That's the root of my outrage here--NOT because she is the Mother, and it's her job according to Patriarchal roles- no, but because the children Need an advocate, an Adult--and Women, if the Father isn't going to BE an adult--your concern shouldn't BE how to make him a better Husband, your focus should be Because you are a Parent-Adult--how to protect and care for you but most of all the Children--NOT the man, that Man is NOT THE CHILD...IF you have to do it Behind the man's back until you can get out then Do it--but Get the children Support, NOT let teen children be the Shield--and Especially using Sons as shields, because Patriarchal Religion teaches women to be Passive and only Men can protect, shifting this on Sons--who wind up in Prison [daughters too] because Mommy passive Christian HID behind the son -- because of some Gender Construct notion--NO, Mommy, you and Daddy are Parents, PARENTS, it in No way empowers women to play Child while risking Children--while Daddy-hubby gets to be an obnoxious spoiled brat abusive Ass--and I see a LOT of CHRISTIAN women playing this role--and it's just Screwed up, it really is, the world Yes doesn't Hold men accountable, WE know that--but you Got to DRAW THE LINE, SOMEWHERE.  Women in the days when they didn't have the right to Vote, had abusive husbands, they had church culture--but These women didn't worship at the phallic center while Sacrificing their children..they may have snuck or went behind the backs to Protect the children, they may have hid money, they may have found secret network groups, and they DID do those things, but the One thing they Didn't do, is believe this Ridiculous Notion that if they just prayed, coddled, took coddling from others while Enabling childish selfish men--that God would protect them--NO, these women Knew the score, they were Very realist, they didn't Have laws to protect them, they didn't Have systems that even Allowed them to mention abuse, they didn't Have job opportunities, but they Damn sure, didn't Worship at the Altar of Menz and Husbands, they didn't Feed into the Husbands are 'god' garbage we are seeing today, and they Didn't hide behind the children, they did All in their power to Protect them--even if that meant Sending those children off somewhere they were Safe from the wrath of Daddy--Not to day  though, Today I see women write/talk More about their Husbands, who is the Center, and the children, are left to hang,

and yea, It needs to be Called out, it needs to be Confronted, and it needs to Stop being 'excused'...and Women, you Don't help women in abuse, in Explosive situations [and esp when they Say it's explosive] with the 'poor poor dear', YOU aren't helping, YOU are enabling, Prince and Fairies are NOT going to come down and Magically save them from harm--and we Need to stop Pandering to the lies, the bullshit, and the Fairy Tale Myth--they belong in Children's books, NOT in advice to women and Damn sure not when some woman is Saying--the son is in the middle playing the Protector role, NOT in this day and age when more Children are killing parents, and winding up in Adult prisons--when I see Ideologies and Faith's pushing this bullshit--Damn Right,

I get Very angry.  NOT because we know the system is already Stacked against women, making it near impossible to leave many times or rewarding men with custody--NO, but Because there are more women Concerned with Pleasing Dick--rather than Caring for herself and Especially her children, who ARE depending on her AND on him--but Just because HE isn't being a Responsible Parent--does NOT give license, for the Woman to choose to neglect, and Especially because she's more concerned with Him loving her--HE ain't worth it, sorry, but he Just isn't worth it...Any man who is an ass to children, to their mother and in front of the children--isn't worth Shit...so Why the fuck do Women still look up to these assholes?  Why do women go on and on about Poor Poor hubby and Poor man needs therapy and poor man this, poor man that,

NO, POOR MAN NEEDS HIS ASS KICKED, AND HIS ASS NEEDS TO GO TO FUCKING JAIL.  PERIOD.  TILL HE GROWS UP--AND STOPS BEING AN ABUSIVE ASSHOLE--AND PRAY THEN, THAT THE PRINCE COMES, AND KICKS HIS ASS BUT GOOD--

because he's a Wuss, NOT a man--being a Sperm donor Abusive Ass Christian Bossy Jackass doesn't make a sperm tube a MAN...BEING A FATHER WHO CARES--WHO IS A PARENT, THAT'S A MAN.  Anything else, is just a boy stroking his penis still hung up in Puberty--Women Stop Pandering to them--and Stop Aiding situations where CHILDREN HAVE TO BE THE ADULTS--because MEN won't grow up.

Children didn't ASK to be created, they didn't ASK to be born--sometimes I just want to Scream at some women and say, GROW THE FUCK UP, OR ADOPT OUT THE CHILDREN...

because Really what it boils down to, is that Patriarchy teaches Women to choose Men over Children--MEN CAN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES

CHILDREN CANNOT.

And allowing a situation where a Son is being Protector--even praising that--is I don't know, makes me Furious,

son or daughter, his being a son isn't the point,

the Point is, being a CHILDISH WIFE-MOTHER ISN'T CUTE...I DON'T CARE WHAT THE REASON IS...NO MAN, IS WORTH THIS SHIT...NO MAN.

A couple of weeks ago, a 12 year old, shot and killed both his parents, attacked his younger siblings.  I don't ,know all the details in the case but I know it was a Christian household, in a Fundie community, and No one knew anything was Wrong, Oh nooooooo

but you know, I would almost Bet, there Were signs, I'd almost bet it was a Patriarchal marriage where Mommy really is WIFE-CHILD to a DOMINATING HUSBAND who ruled the roost and wife-child rather than step up to the plate and BE A DAMN PARENT-ADULT

instead Clung to outdated Dependency doctrine, and now they are dead,

and the 12 year old is going to Prison...

the Father is to blame as well--my Point here is not to place Sole blame on the Women--but WHEN there is Knowledge of Abuse, and there is Support offered, Advice, Someone telling you to at Least get a safe place the son can go so it Doesn't escalate or to Leave,

and they'd rather hear the Coddling and poor poor dear,

that to me is Childish, Irresponsible, and yes, a type of CHILD ABUSE.

Women, your Son should NOT be taking the role of your Husband, Protector, nor should your Daughter be taking the Role of your Mommy's Servant, Day Care provider, Maid or Slave or Wife substitute,

Submitting, Clinging, Coddling and REFUSING TO TAKE YOUR PART IN THE DYNAMICS THAT EFFECT MORE THAN JUST YOU--BUT CHILDREN,

is yes, Just as deplorable, in many ways, as the behaviors of Men.

It's ONE Thing when you Do know, you Do try, you Do intervene, and for money or his violence or what have you, you are stuck, I understand Those situations,

but I'm talking here about those Women who Rather than GROW UP AND BE A PARENT--OVER YOUR CHILDREN, you'd rather hang on to Please pray and Coddle me, at the EXPENSE OF YOUR CHILDREN, to save some Dead Marriage to an Asshole--at the EXPENSE OF YOUR CHILDREN, and you take NO STEPS TO SAVE YOUR CHILDREN,

YOU'LL TAKE THE STEPS TO 'SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE TO A LOSER'

BUT YOU SACRIFICE YOUR CHILDREN TO DO SO...

NO, I'm sorry, sorry I have to say this,

this is WRONG ON SO MANY ACCOUNTS...it's Hard for me to write this, I'd kind of like to just leave the original Vent post up--

BUT, I understand how damaging the patriarchal teachings of religion Are to women--I've been there...I know, what it is, I know what it is to Hang on to the hope that IF you just hold out and obey God and pray...things will change,  they Don't, and in fact, the Longer you stay the more Power he has, not only that when you Do leave, you already risk losing children--play into his hands, that risk goes Up, and NO the church does NOT care...they are THERE FOR THE MENZ...NOT FOR YOU AND DAMN SURE NOT FOR THE CHILDREN.

But what Gets me Peeved, is when Women DO KNOW, WHEN THEY'VE READ, DISCUSSED, AND THEY KNOW,

and yet they Still choose to NOT ACT to protect their children--because they Hang on to this Fairy Tale belief that God will magically Change Jerktard from a Beast to a Prince and the man will just bow and say Oh baby I'm soooo sorry...blah blah blah

yea What the fuck ever,

meanwhile the Kids get damaged for life--and in a situation where a near adult Son is on edge and it's escalating and Still the Mother is in denial,

I don't know--Stupid, all I can say it's just Stupid--but what Pisses me off, is when she is Told--this is Dangerous, get a safe place and leave NOW--

and she'd Rather hear Coddling--

and I know, that Son...is in a situation that needs intervention...

and religious others are Coddling her and saying, Oh poor poor dear--we'll pray

Fuck that--and we Wonder, why, a 12 year old boy Shot his parents, in a Christian community,

GEE, I FUCKING WONDER

IT'S CALLED

 DENIAL.

Jane