HOW I SEE GOD if I close my Ears and Eyes to the Majority of Religous Folk

photo taken from awesome blog, found in my embroidery batch--see for more photos, she takes amazing photos,

http://gunnelsvensson.blogspot.com/2009/12/happy-new-year-2010.html

Anyway, so I'm browsing through the embroidery blogs, after posting 'my rants' on several Christian feminist blogs--one in particular where I just aaarrrrgh, after reading aNother 'justification' for men's crap--with that whole 'women submit and fear' garbage,

you know, I JUST don't have the tolerance for it anymore, I seriously don't...now that is NOT very Christian, granted, its not walking in the Spirit, but you know, it IS honest--I just don't have the tolerance for the bunk anymore--and in fact, I find myself getting really Furious, when I read WOMEN standing up for MEN who abuse, for Whatever reason, and then they say, they are not for tyrants,

Plaleese, IF you are saying that women 'provoke' a man to anger/wrath then yes, baby, you are standing up for Tyranny, because you know something, there IS no justifiable reason for a MAN TO ABUSE A WOMAN--period.

And all this 'fear thy husband' and all that other twisted crap [and it IS a twisting of Scripture] is just that, Crap--not only that, there are Millions of raped and/or raped and dead women AND CHILDREN all over this world and through out Time Thanks to that stupid mentality,

I simply have no tolerance for it anymore. Its the equivalent of justifying Slavery, in this day and age--so Why the hell, do we continue to justify the abuse of women, for Whatever reason, the normalizing of male violence to women and all that--in This day and age? As far as I'm concerned, there IS no reason--its Insanity and well, it just is insanity. Its one thing, for men to spew that dung, sort of Expect it from them, after all, they benefit from the mass male terrorism against All women,

but when Women do it--under this 'guise of piety', it makes me WANT TO PUKE, seriously...they are either very ignorant or just plain Stupid or worse--callous And stupid.

So, well, anyway, yea, NOT very Christian but you know, if Christian means, tolerance to Evil, then well, I suppose then, I'm not a good Christian,

but then, I can see a scene in nature or read the Word [without the traditional 'religious misogynist lens--that tick tock orange fascist crap] and realize, that Jesus didn't stand for that type of Warped thinking either,

its Humans, who Warp God and who Warp the Bible and who Lust for Power and Dominance.

Ever notice, how in nature, God gives LIFE, the TREE of LIFE--

not the tree of death. That is what humanity partook of, and no, NOT just Adam and Eve either, every time we partake of the Knowledge of GOOD AND EVIL, doesn't just say, good only or evil only but BOTH, well, we partake in more of death do we not? What is so Hard though--is How to walk in that Tree of LIFE, and get out of that whole tree of death part,

can we Even do it? For me lately, its been very difficult, if not impossible, when all around me, is nothing But the tree of death--nastiness and hate, so much hate, without going into detail, I deal with hatred every single day--and well, I guess I'm at a breaking point right now where I just don't have tolerance for it--Especially how so many today, say we are to 'submit' to that evil garbage,

HOW can one obey God, a Holy God, and submit to EVIL? Does that make sense to you? It sure as heck doesn't to me, so Something is amiss there--but you know, God is awesome,

just yesterday, cleaning out some things, I find an old paper with a scripture on it, from Amos, something about 'two can't walk together if they are not agreed',

so, if one is following evil and the other good, well, to walk together, to be in this perfect submitted harmony, if its the one following the 'good' that is ordered to submit, then that one following good would then have to submit and do evil--to walk in agreement.

Somehow, I can't see God saying, oh, if you are under 'leadership' or 'authority' then you must submit and do evil--to be right with ME, a Holy God,

well, gee, if That be the case--then every single Nazi was only doing Good then, by golly, they were Just following Orders, Right?

But we have a church today, that tells women, over and over, you must Submit even if its 'evil' [true blind submission would require that] so if hubby demands you to worship Satan, according to the obsessive 'submission' scriptures, you must then submit and worship Satan too,

I mean, am I crazy, or what?

Hell, if That be the case, Why then wait for an authority to demand you to submit to evil--why not just do evil anyway?

IF its o.k. in one instance, why not in another?

Well, of course, that would be crazy now wouldn't it? But today, this is becoming more of a norm belief, and NOT just in religious world either--its like, is there even any Lines anymore between good and evil?

Its all becoming more blurred and well, just screwed up...but for some reason, when I look at nature, I don't see nature being that way, there seems to be some Clear defined Rules, even IN a fallen world,

so then, what does That say to us? IF we are to be like His Image--in His likeness, are we to be or 'do' evil then, under certain conditions? I don't Believe so--

no way--because Then that would be saying, that God demands evil, and James is says, God does NOT tempt us with Evil,

therefore, if those in leadership or supposed authority over us demand us to submit to evil, then Whose image, are we then, following?

I don't believe its God's, no way...

Yes, Jesus was obedient unto Death--the submission zealots Love to use that one, but they forget, ONE very very important part of that Whole context,

Jesus, WAS WITHOUT SIN.

In other words, Jesus yes, submitted, unto God's will, unto Death, even, but He did NOT sin--or do Evil.

Not once.

There is a Huge difference there--in submitting to God, no matter what--even under Authority, without committing Sin, and then,

submitting to do Sin--under authority that is Claiming God says you must obey me, etc.

Why, if That were the case, then when authority says, bow down to such and such--then it would be o.k. to do just that, but NO where, in Bible, does it Ever say, that we are 'excused' from bowing down to other 'gods', NOWHERE,

no matter What the authority. That includes, to Sin--bowing down to other gods also means to willfully sin.

So I think--the measuring line is simple--is it something that God Himself would do? IF not, then we are NOT to do it,

no matter what or Who we are under authority too. IF Jesus didn't do it, neither are we supposed to do it. We do sin--if we say we don't, we lie [John], and I have sinned--a LOT, not bragging, just saying...because one, its true and two, well, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I do sin, I do fall, I do screw up, a LOT--wish I didn't, but I do,

but it doesn't matter if I do it because I'm provoked or if I'm under someone or if I just had a bad day...sin is sin, and its wrong, and God hates it. So, if God hates sin--He would not say, oh, btw, you're a woman, if your husband says you are to sin OR to partake in his sins, well you do it, etc.,

then on the other hand, say, if you do these things without repenting they'll send you to hell,

uh, sort of a double message there, ya know...and IF I listen to religious people, including a lot of dummy women [sorry, like I said, my tolerance level is at zero today] well, then,

I'd be one confused girl.

But I look at this big tree with this little tree and think--no, we are to Be in Christ, like Christ, male, female, married or single, doesn't matter, and yes, we are to serve and submit--I believe submission has more to do with serving--but we are NOT to sin, Ever,

no exceptions. [though lying is a sin--but Rahab lied and protected the spies--but I think, that is a different thing, that I won't get into here, its Still not submitting to do evil however]

so well anyway--it seems that when I get my eyes and ears on Religious folk, I get messed up in the head and start thinking and doing really screwed up things,

when I turn all that off, and focus on God and His Word and seeing Nature--I get a whole different outlook,

and different attitude. Its keeping IN that thinking/vision though, that I find I have trouble with--and maybe that is MY own sin nature--that lures me away, something else in James, where it says, we sin when we are Drawn away by our own natures, my paraphrase,

so, well--hmmmmm,

the image--which tree do I image after, the Tree of Life, or the Tree of Death?

And I suppose, lately, its been the tree of death--and that I think--its time, to get OUT of that, and back into the Tree of Life,

and start, living again.

Can't partake of both--tried, it just doesn't work....besides, that whole dying thing, sort of sucks...its miserable. It just plain, sucks.

And I hate it...and I am finding, the more I am not just in that tree of death but Around those that relish staying in that tree of death--that its toxic and well, it just wears me down--a lot, so now, I question,

God, How in the world, do I stay in the Tree of Life, in a world, that is so full, of the Tree of Death? Especially when, it seems that on some days, that tree of death, is so much stronger in me, than the Tree of Life?

That is where I am at, now....yea, going through somewhat of a nihilist stage at this time--been here before, and I do so not like it--but well, its like this, like I told Jesus the other day, I know what the Word says, I know, the Wilderness, so forth, the whole thing with doubt, unbelief, tempting God, so forth,

I also know, the ugly reality I see, Especially in those so called Christian circles [men esp, they are the worst] and the reality and not just a few years but its 2009...this is the world I see and live in Daily--I'm not magical, I'm not of super strength, I'm not of this super power, etc etc etc.,

and this is what I see, hear, live with every single day, With all my sins/failures in addition too--no matter How much I pray, how much I strive, all in all, it comes down to the human frailty and well, this increase of iniquity and evil, that well, I think, the apostles would be rolling in their graves, literally, the people of that epoch, if they could see us today,

but I'm guilty, GUILTY, just as much as I see it everywhere and with everyone else I just as Guilty and blood stained--very much so,

and I'm questioning more--what it Truly is, to be Christian--to be Born Again, to be in Christ? I don't think--I really KNOW it, not really, and I don't believe what the church is spewing, that they know it either, I think 99% of today's church teachings are LEAVEN...just as horrid as the LEAVEN OF HEROD,

and yet, in my own battles and struggles I am in NO place to judge either--long story, won't go into all the details but one thing that Does keep coming to my mind, over and over and over,

I have Got to change Drastically my Own life--behavior, actions, Works--drastically, change them drastically--towards Christ--100%, and in no way, even close to what the churches are spewing--at the same time--not being angry or hating them either [I need some work there, having patience, etc, yea, I admit it--I am very sucky at that, seriously I am, I want mercy but I am terrible at having mercy for others--very cynical there--I have my reasons, I've learned well from the cruelty from others, in intimate ways, always in the intimate, but that Still doesn't justify my own, know what I mean],

well, but anyway, wrestling with God again--wish I could say, I'm just all in faith with no doubt, but actually, find myself the opposite, more nihilistic and negative and well, just doubt--lots of doubt,

so its back and forth again On the teeter totter--arrrgh, But one thing though, I am finding, more This time, than ever before--I have GOT to hang on to who God is, who Christ is, and Christ is NOT what these religious folk are--not even, no where close, so I have Got to hang onto that--and literally, seriously, shut my ears and close my eyes, to all the other,

I wonder, if that what is means, to keep the 'eye' single and pure? Maybe so--we see through a glass darkly Paul says, John says if we hate our brother we are IN darkness,

but where do we draw line between hate of brother/sister and hate of evil? Evil that is done? Can we hate evil? Well, it does also say, to hate evil, to abhor evil, to cleave to what is good,

so, in today's world, the latter days--how do you cleave to what is good when so much evil is deemed as good and good evil?

A 'little' leaven leavens the whole lump Jesus said, been thinking on that A LOT lately--what is, a little leaven?

What is leaven? I did hear, that little voice, other day, when I was questioning some of my replies to some of the more hostile to Christian types, that voice said, 'beware of the leaven of the Pharisees AND of Herod',

that means, the Religious AND the anti-Religious.

Hmmmm....well--if That weren't enough, then there is my own crappy nature to contend with--and its pretty crappy....

well--without going into all of this, besides wouldn't know how to explain even if I tried, Paul did say, to avoid arguments about the 'law' and well, it seems I keep getting into them, dumb dumb dumb...or maybe its that ole nature, James speaks of--why can't I just let it go, and let them all, just be?

Its not like, I can change the world--yea, maybe I need to do more observing of nature, less of people, and do far more praying...a LOT more praying,

in meantime, as for writing, I need to get back into writing about the cotton--that last post, on Egyptian Cotton, got me to thinking--because Egypt IS one of those nations where child slavery, of cotton, is huge industry,

so, next post--lets start, on that issue again...That, and I saw a really awesome OLD United Nations [before they changed] film the other day on TCM, about farming and land, Mexico and well--it reminded me of what I really wanted to do with my life,

relief work--to feed, water, clothe people, and well, I still want to do that--why I started this blog to begin with, its where my heart has Always been--anyway, there were some really awesome things in that film--things this world today, I think, has forgotten,

and well, one thing the man in film kept saying, is Howdy Neighbor, let me help you, help yourself...

so, going to focus on that, next few months--on projects, where that is Exactly, what is being done. We need more of that--don't you think, and well, how can we do this in our own personal lives? In the Will of God that is?

later, Jane

later,

Jane