TRUTH FOUND ME, THE LIE OF THE 'FALSE GOSPEL'

In my search for Truth in contrast with the Lies I had either believed, or had been told, or had cognitive dissonance about,

at the bottom of the well, my heart, God showed me.

I can't write much today because I am working on 'NOT' spending a lot of time on the internet, but to make a long story short,

the reason I fell away in my twenties from Jesus was that I was worshiping a False Jesus/False Gospel, one that is preached a lot in these days and one that is very deceptive.  It is sort of like the name it and claim it Gospel but you see, this one is a bit more sinister because it truly Looks like Jesus/Salvation but it's really only a surface scratch.  There is this twist,

that basically is this:  Jesus gives us Life therefore our Life should change and be All glorious, wonderful and full of Joy.  It is a LIE, because the Abundant Life that Jesus promised us was not of this world, not of matter, NO, it was the Life change inside us, from Death to Life, meaning,

our life doesn't necessarily change, problems don't disappear, marriages don't just become romantic fantasies, paths taken don't necessarily mean success, All these things are things of the world, of THIS WORLD, and they do NOTHING, NOTHING,

TO TRANSFORM US, DEAD, SPIRITUAL DEAD INTO SPIRITUAL ALIVE IN JESUS CHRIST.

This is why the salvation of works under a false guise of 'sanctification' is really just a clever form of trying to FORCE CHANGE IN THE FLESH--it leads up to Failure.  It can do nothing else but.  To Change one must be transformed by the POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, and nothing else. 

Anyway, when Life, being as it is, for one who had grown up with abuse, when the situations did not change due to the spiritual deadness inside, I took that to really mean God must not love me, as stupid as that sounds, one with a sick mind, will see it that way, one bad situ to another and it wasn't long until I simply stopped believing, oh Mentally I believed, but what I was told, how my lens saw the Gospel, REAL LIFE, didn't work out that way.  When I would ask, I would hear, Forgive, Have more Faith, do This do That...

but REAL LIFE KEPT HAPPENING AND I KEPT GETTING ANGRIER AND ANGRIER AND THEN COLD DEAD.

I hated Jesus, because I didn't KNOW THE REAL JESUS....JESUS NEVER PROMISED ME

A GOOD LIFE, A LIFE WITHOUT SUFFERING, A LIFE THAT ALL WOULD WORK OUT.  NO, HE SAID

IN THIS WORLD, YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE....

it's NOT in this world, it can't be because this world is lying in darkness and sin, so to Look in THIS WORLD FOR ABUNDANT LIFE IS A LIE.

The LIFE is the Life inside us that works to transform US, NOT OUR 'LIFE' HERE ON EARTH...

it is WE, WE WHO ARE CHANGED, OUR LIVES CAN STILL SUCK.

see that is a whole other Gospel isn't it?  That is the TRUE gospel, yesterday I finally had it with God and said, looking at one of our cats, that is black and white, "Hey, in Faith that cat is Pink" and I busted out laughing, the bitter myrrh just poured out, like scorn, but you know, in that bitterness was TRUTH because TRUTH IS, THAT CAT WAS BLACK AND WHITE, AND ALL THE SAYING IT WAS PINK WOULD NOT MAKE IT SO.

Now, if God in HIS power decided to make the cat Pink, then That would be a different matter...then slowly, I saw the Deadness inside, I had had dreams, of a black well or a black room with white walls that turned brown, What does this mean Jesus, I asked?  Why so many dreams of water that is polluted?  Why, Why, Why?

Then I saw it, clear as day, I HAD NEVER CHANGED, NOT INSIDE, I was full of hate towards what I believed was God, but that was not really God,

it was a FALSE CHRIST.

And then Thess where it says, the son of perdition will be revealed, I saw it...I never saw it in my youth, my heart wasn't ready, I Thought it was, but it wasn't.  One has to see their being SPIRITUALLY DEAD, NO, NOT A SINNER, BUT SPIRITUALLY DEAD,

there is a difference.

And guess what, YOU, ME, WE can't bring that dead spirit to Life, oh no, you can say the sinner's prayer, you can go to church, you can do this do that, you can believe all the right things, but until you see and ask Jesus in what little faith you can muster because you see I didn't even have the Love to make the faith work to ask with all this belief, Jesus will you save me?  When you see that, get to that place,

well words can't describe but it's really a horrible feeling.  I think it's one, I might be wrong but I think this is maybe something one grows into, because Paul says he prays and something about Until Christ is Formed in You, so like, it's not something that is immediate,

I notice several times to in NT where it says you Might be this or Might be that.  Then it made sense, Jesus saying, IF, IF, IF YOU CONTINUE IN ME AND MY WORDS ABIDE IN YOU,

because the LIFE is in the Word, and it's not anything WE do, oh yes WE must Act on that Word but only through Jesus can we even do That.

See today's gospel is all about Jesus fixing your life, making things better making it work, but that's not what Life means, Life is coming up from the SPIRITUAL DEAD...and it's not just a 'oh I understand a bit here and there', I think we grow into it, reason I say this is Jesus said one can get the word, take it with joy, life comes up and Boom, they fall away.

That's what that means....a Good and Honest Heart a Heart that sees just how dead it really is and that nothing that person can do can change it.  Nothing...

the Reform, the Psychology, all of it, it's all Lies.  Lies of demons really, at least I think so...

to Believe on Jesus, not as the Jesus Santa Claus, or the Jesus Psychologist, but the Jesus Savior.

Big difference there,

but one must see they need SAVING, NOT JUST 'NOT TO SIN' BUT ACTUAL SAVING FROM THE DEADNESS 'INSIDE',

no Wonder I had no love, I was trying to do things believing in this false gospelS [because there are many of them] and seeing the B.S. and thinking to myself this is all a load of crock,

and then feeling Guilty then you know no change in me and like all the Hate I had towards God because the Carnal Nature, guess what, DOES HATE GOD, that's what the Bible says, it is DEAD, flesh = death, so like one can Think they are walking in the Spirit by trying to put down their flesh but really all they are doing is salvation by works, the living by the LAW,

and it brings the Wrath of God and it brings Fear and it brings Insanity, where I was at, and no wonder,

I couldn't bear Fruit.  Trees don't bear fruit when they are DEAD. 

So HOW does one do all this change?  They Don't, it's by Faith, Faith that God justifies freely through His Grace and we live through Jesus Christ,

it's a minute by minute faith in Jesus, where we are At, that Hope that HE redeems us, that HE saves us, that HE gives us Life and Life Abundant and that means, Life will Suck, but WE will Live.

The facts of SIN do not change, our flesh dies, our lives will have Fruits from the sins, ours and Others, that won't change, those are the Giants that God will drive out IF we do not draw back...this is where the obedience and Faith is tried, that wilderness,

at least from where I see it right now...IF, IF we are WORTHY, THEN WE SUFFER PERSECUTION, there is a Huge difference between being Persecuted for Christ's Sake and the suffering that just comes from this sucky ass life.  They are NOT the same.  There are many Christians who Suffer for being Christians around the world,

they are to praise God because they have been counted Worthy,

the fact that we, generally do not suffer Just for being Christian, not talking about the woes of Life here, says a lot to me, says that we are missing it here, in a big way...and I think, it's that we've been sold a False Gospel, a False Christ and it is in a Big Way.

Also, Paul says, the sorrow of the world brings death, the sorrow of God brings Repentance, He does not say HOWEVER,

THAT WE DON'T HAVE THAT SORROW OF THE WORLD JUST BECAUSE WE NOW, HAVE REPENTED,

that still is going on, and yes It does bring DEATH, when one is being abused, it brings death, when one is suffering at the hands of oppressors it brings DEATH, to say it doesn't is a LIE,

but now IF that person has LIFE inside them, they may Die in the physical, but Spiritually they stay Alive, in Jesus Christ.  That physical I think can be also emotional and heart wise...

this belief that Christians are to be these happy jolly people with their lives all great with only a few trials not and then is a LIE from the pits of hell because in This World, we will have Trouble, in This FLESH we will have sorrow, this FLESH will DIE.

And when we Believe any different thinking that it's the salvation we are being deceived, trying to live a Godly life in the flesh and mind...rather than by Faith...

I do believe God restores our soul, I think in Psalms or, no Lamentations, it says something about the soul, the memories...why he knew God had restored it, this was in a time of Horrible Suffering, like in comparison to if you were in the Congo, right now in middle of horrible war, genocide, mass rape, famine, etc., and this man said he remembered...in darkness he could feel, he remembered God, because God had restored His soul...

Jesus says, IF you continue in My Word and in Me you will not taste of death, that is spiritual death, the second death, because they weren't born again therefore they were still spiritually dead. 

Jesus saves us from SPIRITUAL DEATH,

that is the ABUNDANT LIFE,

not this, good life here on this earth, in Satan's Kingdom things of men.

I know there is more but this is all I know for now...it really blows my mind just how much I was deceived, and it's no wonder,

I fell away,

the TRUTH IS THOUGH,

I DIDN'T FALL AWAY,

I WAS NEVER 'SAVED' TO BEGIN WITH.

Now I know...27 years later, NOW I know. 

Love,

Jane