Christians and Healing for Women who have been Raped

[see post below--due to triggers, I really needed to respond also with this]

in regards to rape, I want to make clear, that when I speak of God allowing rape due to the sin nature of the world [free will of individuals, etc], that in NO way, means that any who are raped, are in any way, responsible for rape OR that God singles out for rape,

and that is why I added that because too often, when Christian women or women in Christian cultures have been victims of violence, whether its rape, domestic violence, molestation[rape] they believe that either God didn't protect them, for some reason OR that God singled them out [due to predestination teaching] and I think,

both are very wrong and are very harmful to women, because they see God as a partaker in the rape. And I speak,

btw, from experience, you see this is from not just what I think but from my own journey in healing, that has taken, years.

I also want to add, and I've known and am very well acquainted with all the typical Christian advice on what one needs to do to be healed,

so much of its bunk, seriously, in fact, so much of it, I feel strongly actually prolongs the pain AND does more damage, its like an emotional being raped over and over and over...

or violated, the FEAR doesn't go away and let me just say,

not all is restored. You walk with the scars, Because we live in a world where there is IMPUNITY to rape, to violate women, and the triggers are always there. THEN on top of that, especially, ESPECIALLY, in the Christian 'male' world, there is this constant push, to get over it because hey,

that husband is ENTITLED to sex, and its not just Christianity its in our entire secular culture, the whole, get over it garbage and I do say, garbage because the ones who say, get over it,

are usually the very same ones, who want something from you OR they are of the mindset that you, me, woman, have been put on this earth, to be of some kind of sexual/womb service.

And that is why I am in a huge way, sharing this journey here because for years, I wanted NOTHING to do with religion, Christianity, I was at a huge conflict for reasons that I have shared but many that I have not. I will say however, that I found many of the same attitudes in the left/even liberal left, patriarchy and misogyny are everywhere, they aren't just attributes of the church and in fact, they are in many ways,

far worse outside the church.

For me, healing came from taking back, well, part of it, I couldn't forgive until I took back, and that took going and yes, walking through a lot of the anger and rage AND that includes the rage I had towards the very ones who were saying,

you must forgive and not react and blah blah blah--usually, nine out of ten, its a fricking man who says this. Hey, they mean well,

but MEN benefit from rape, men in society benefit from rape I don't care What they say, they do because rape is a tool of terror, to force subjugation on ALL WOMEN, even if a woman has not been raped physically, she has already been raped, in some form, spiritually when she walks out that door and something happens to make her think--fear,

because women in our world today, I don't care how much faith one has in God, still fear, being raped. WE are not safe in this world, and even more so because violence against women is so tolerated.

IT isn't enough either to just forgive when our own brothers won't even hold their brothers accountable and demand the end to rape/violence towards women, and I mean, demand it,

not just sugar coat it with scripture or kind words, because rape is a tool, of a patriarchal SYSTEM. That is why, rape is yes, used as a weapon of war and rape in the Congo is NOT THE FIRST TIME, that rape has been used as a weapon of war,

read the Old Testament--it was common practice, even then.

Rape is harmful because it reminds women of their status--the property of men, that is why, the feeling of 'damaged goods' comes in so strong,

even the most hard core feminist, confronts those feelings. [referring to rape victims, again I am speaking from experience]

I also want to say, that one of the things that irks me the most, is when Christians give the same pat answers too all women, because you know something,

not all women experience rape the same because our experiences are different AND we aren't just 'goods' who all feel the same way,

nor do we need, thank you, cookie cutter answers. When the same 'answers' for healing are given, that really,

reinforces the patriarchal ideals of women being property or women being whole before rape/violation and that if they just do step 1,2,3, they'll be fixed, forgive the offender who nine out of ten won't ever get justice and will do it over and over and over while the system of patriarchy, men, will benefit from that sorry jerks' behavior [or jerks] AND

that do little, honestly, to help one forgive. Not only that, forgiveness is not a cure all--

yes, we should forgive, and its not a one time thing, it can be a daily process, I have found, praying for those who yes, do rape, does do a lot in helping you to see the perpetrators of the hate crime, yes, HATE CRIME, of rape. This is why I believe Jesus says to pray for our enemies,

and men who rape, yes, are the enemies of women.

Not only that, another thing that God used to heal me, was he showed me that men too, are raped, and not just in prison...that is one of those 'myths', that men are only raped in prison. There are men, who are fighting rape--

they are a small minority AND they are kept somewhat invisible, by society because what these men survivors have to say, is very powerful. Not only are they men, who are part of the patriarchal pyramid, they are men who know what it is to be violated on that intimate of a level. For me, it helped me a great deal, why I can't really say but it did.

Well no, I guess I can say, it was researching the men who assist male victims of rape, is where I learned about how power is abused and that rape is a crime of power--its about control and it is a manestifation of society that is obsessed with power and control. This is why in war zones OR in nations that are extremely militarized, that depend on militarization to expand,

are notorious for rape.

Rape is the carrying out of misogyny in patriarchy, it is about controlling the sexuality of women--in the Congo, its carried even further [and in Bosnia, Chechnya, in Columbia and Nepal, the Maoists who rape women and also force abortions, in Iraq where women have lured women into situations where they are gang raped then these women are so destroyed that to gain acceptance by God they then become suicide bombers, same thing happens in Afghanistan, Palestine...rape is a tool].

When a man is beat up by another man, he does suffer yes, from powerlessness, but what many men don't get, Christian men especially, is that their entire self-worth as men, is not at total threat--like it is for women, and the reason for this is,

man's worth is not tied totally into his physical strength, where a woman's, in patriarchal societies, her worth IS tied into her sexuality, especially the control of that sexuality. This is why rape is so much more than simply a physical attack.

And it is THAT area, that I want to confront and deal with--using God's Word, so that rape--

becomes less powerful, where its hold on women, can be destroyed.

NOT just rape that happens, but the fear of rape.

So for me, confronting rape, rape in war, rape in families, molestation, etc [including rape perpetuated by women, women to women--yes it happens], is not just about the intimate, the personal,

its not just a 1,2,3 cookie cutter step process for ALL WOMEN, a quick forgiveness, a going on, one day just 'being over it',

because the ongoing crime is that all women, are controlled by rape. Everywhere, even if they may not realize it, the fear, is very powerful,

and what really Does anger me, is that the church, I feel, has a responsibility to not just offer a shoulder, in hopes to 'repair damaged goods' or even society, in hopes to repair damaged goods so that one day,

she will multiply once more.

NO, I feel strongly that the church and all societies have the responsibility, MEN to MEN, in asserting very strongly,

rape should be abolished, done away with, its NOT acceptable, its a SIN, and its time, it is ended. No ands, ifs, or buts,

boys should be taught at young ages by their brothers, that RAPE is not acceptable and that men are NOT ENTITLED TO WOMEN'S BODIES,

just because they are men.

Start there,

then maybe, some real healing, can occur, for all women.

Not just reconciliation--Christian brothers, you want reconciliation, then start holding your brothers accountable, stop hiding them, stop making excuses for them, stop benefiting from the oppression of women by violence.

And women--STOP putting more value on the unborn, and trivializing rape, that is another thing that just irks me to no end,

EVERY time, I read a woman, saying that no matter what, that baby is more important, she trivializes rape, she trivializes our suffering,

and she perpetuates, the patriarchy, the idea that all women are is wombs.

Nothing more, nothing less, just baby factories,

I don't agree with abortion either, but nothing offends me more, than to see, hear, read women, telling other women, girls who have been raped, that they have a duty, to carry a pregnancy to term,

they put MORE emphasis on that, than on justice for the victims of rape.

It speaks volumes to women who know what it is to suffer violence, it does more to damage and it needs to be said--

its cruel, its callous, its cold blooded.

UNLESS you want to step into that woman's body and be raped instead of her AND then carry that baby to term,

I say, shut up. Instead, pray for her, grieve with her, comfort her and whatever her decision, [and it Should be HER decision, not yours, not the Popes, not any man's, Hers]

love her.

Yes be honest about the trauma, but that trauma, will be there, regardless of her decision, unless you want to walk in HER shoes,

I say, please, stop with the demanding the fetus rights while totally throwing the woman to the curb. You do more to pat the rapist on the back, when you do that.

And I for one, Christian yes I am, am sick to death, of women and men who do this.

YOU don't want abortions, neither do I, but lets start with stopping the tolerance, indifference, and permissiveness of a rape culture, of patriarchy, of perpetuating the male benefiting from the terrorizing of women,

everywhere on this planet.

In addition,

in regards to healing,

as I said, I don't believe there is always total restoration, not in the way its professed by many. I Do believe however, in the Resurrection Power of Jesus Christ, yet too, there are scriptures, such as the one where Paul speaks of the thorn in his flesh,

that work, like a limp. However, greater is He who is in Us than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4...........Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.

I don't have time right now to go into all that Christ has revealed to me thus far, I probably should though, well anyway,

just the other day, I was reading about Mary Magdelene (sic) and how Jesus cast out seven demons,

and then, the scripture in Romans, I believe or maybe its Corinthians, where it talks about joining of the flesh, men not joining to prostitutes, etc.,

well, its the same thing with rape, whether its one perpetrator [gender does not matter either] or numerous ones,

there is something that happens with the joining of flesh on a spiritual level, even if the woman is raped [no consent], and THAT, I believe,

is a good possibility that those seven demons that Mary was tormented with, what you bet, several of them, were demons from rape?

I think they were, I really do, and on this, I do believe, that there has to be some casting out AND there has to be some diligent spiritual warfare, on behalf of the woman/child/man who has been raped AND that they must be taught, to also, and its a part of the taking back,

how to use the Word of God, to not just heal themselves or find comfort [God does the healing] but to use, against those demons, those tormentors and to speak in the authority of Jesus Christ to them, and yes, that includes, casting them out.

I believe this is where a lot of the sleep trauma comes in, the post traumatic disorders, they are demonic, this is my belief and again, I'm speaking from experience. There are soul ties, that need to be cut,

and the only means I know to do this is to speak the Word of God to them, pick up the Sword of Truth,

and start cutting away at the fear, the terror, the trauma, the memories, the bad feelings of low self worth, the lies from the pits of hell that God ordained the rape/molestation/abuse, etc etc etc.,

I can't sit here and say which scriptures because again, every woman's experience is different, and sexual violations are so personal, so intimate that they intertwine with other abuses, rejections, thoughts, both in past, present and future.

For me, it took years, years of finally being able to scream at God my anger at HIM, and that is where I asked Him, and no He didn't strike me down, no, He began to show me, in His Word. And that is what I am revealing on one blog, not so much on this one but since I am bringing up the crisis in the Congo and will be on other nations, I thought, due to the triggers,

might as well share them here too.

I also believe that until some of these other things are done that forgiveness is near impossible because the wounds are just still too fresh, don't matter how much you cover them up, because its not like someone coming up and slapping you,

or someone taking your car, or calling you names.

And I read, one Christian male counselor saying that Jesus can identify but that Jesus wasn't raped, etc.,

well, I beg to differ, Jesus DID suffer a form of rape. When they took his clothes, stripped Him naked, and then cast lots for His garments, Jesus showed me this and it is, for men, a type of spiritual and emotional rape,

they did this, as intention to humiliate Jesus sexually.

So yes, Jesus CAN identify with our suffering, both rape, molestation, gang rape, He can identify on all of these hate crimes and not only that, He can identify on that intimate level,

not just from this distant, He is male, we are woman, level, that thing of 'pity'.

This is something Christ revealed to me and I share it here because maybe someone reading, has struggled or is struggling with this.

BTW in case you are wondering, how did I come about, this turning back, this journey, well,

actually it was in writing about rapes of women in Europe that have been on the rise, rapes by Islamists, rapes that are sanctioned because its perfectly acceptable to rape 'infidels', anyway,

there was this photo, of a woman whose face was horribly beaten, bloodied and she had been gang raped, and this anger rose up and this voice,

"my face, looked just like this, this is what my face looked like, for the sin of the entire world"

and I just cried, because those were my sins, my sins...just as much as yours.

That day, was a turning point, and from that day it wasn't just confronting injustice but looking for spiritual answers, for understanding. Maybe due to the years I worked in radical feminism and saw the rage and the hate and I do mean hate, towards God, towards religion, towards Christianity,

because of all the wounded women, and I do mean, WOUNDED, not just ungrateful bitter women, no,

wounded women, who are hurting and I mean hurting...

and I can't even imagine, in many regions where rape is systematically not just tolerated but it is ordered.

My issue was, how to identify with God, as a woman, and it just snowballed from there...I do believe that its not just a cookie cutter answer,

that women are individual HUMAN BEINGS, not just things that are violated and that if you just tell them to do 1,2,3 that all will be well,

no. In doing that, that just diminishes them even more as humans, as individuals, not just the baby machines of society, state, what have you. And Jesus sees them as individuals too,

every hair on their head counted.

In these days of violence and these end times, I believe that we are going to see even more sexual violence, and that we, should learn, how to minister,

and we can start, by listening to those women, who yes, in their anger, and in their rage, are SAYING SOMETHING,

listen to them, listen to me, rather than speak for us, as if we aren't even people. We are more than vagina's,

we are more than sexual beings, mothers, wives,

we are human.

Made in the Image of God, so start, treating us, this way.

Stop pandering to patriarchy and the subjugation of women, in all its forms. There can be no reconciliation, until this...

peace,

janedoe