"She's Into Egyptian Cotton" We Will Miss You Brittany Murphy

I have Never cried, over the death of any famous person,

until

today.

And it was odd that I was embroidering a pillow case, that is made with the heavier cotton, an antique sheet that I cut up, because it was stained, one of my reconstruct fabrics...anyway, as I was embroidering a vintage clown on it for my daughter for Christmas,

I remembered one of the movies that God used to touch my life, the movie was "Uptown Girls" and the actress was Brittany Murphy. I had seen Brittany in other movies and I always did love her wit, ability to charm and play a character role and yet, even characters that were not that in your face, you know, Brittany could just open up and reveal what truly lay inside a character....she had a gift for that.

If I remember anything, it was how Brittany could portray the deeper conflicts that her characters had, conflicts over pretense, over fear, over imperfection. Yet Brittany not only portrayed she somehow utilized her character's strength and made each one victorious in their own right. What I loved about Uptown Girls was the irony of the older woman who was childlike and somewhat in denial of the harshness of life, while the younger girl, played by Dakota Fanning, another Brilliant actress, was hardened by neglect and personal trauma. Both characters, reminded me of things in my own life--excluding the wealth,

and it was Brittany's character, Molly Gunn, who I related with, because she reminded me of the 'denial' I lived with the years I was homeless. Though homeless, I had nice clothes from my prior life and I did as much as I could to not 'show' my homeless state, particularly while at work. This I realize later, especially when I look at old photos of that time and I didn't take too many of them, was nothing short of a fantasy because I looked homeless. I was gaunt, thin, pale in color, and my eyes looked like death holes. All the nice clothes in the world, couldn't have hid the pain that lay deep beneath my heart...though I sure did try.

Anyway, years later, when I saw that movie, God just used it to touch me, to remind me that no matter what life throws our way, we do NOT have to lose our inner child, that innocence, who we truly are. And what is interesting, it was later through picking up the embroidery and sewing again, that I got back in touch with the creative side of me that I had long buried and well,

Egyptian Cotton, just sort of seems fitting. Not only that, my business that I am working on is all about reconstructing old garments--which is what Molly Gunn had done in the film, to her lover's jacket--she reconstructed it,

not only did she reconstruct the jacket, she reconstructed her life. And that is what God does isn't it? He reconstructs our lives, from plain, drab, dull and death to the finest of woven threads...IF we let Him.

Anyway, so I'm embroidering today and my daughter comes in to inform me that the actress on one of my favorite movies had died, I asked her which one and she said, the older one. I was shocked--she was young, was she not? So, sure enough,

Brittany died on Sunday, only 32 years old.

Like I said, I'm not one to cry or get all hyped up over famous actresses and singers and so forth, its not been one of my things, I guess, I've actually thought maybe I was a bit callous because when some of the famous people have died I am kind of like, yea, well, people do die.

But not this time...this time, I suppose a famous person died, way too young, a person that who would have thought...just doing her job, doing what she loved, touched me, and inspired me...to look at life differently and not to be bitter. Brittany, maybe you didn't know how God used you,
but He did.

And, still is....the reports say, that there were anxiety pills, etc., well this wouldn't be too surprising with the stress and the whole market of Hollywood and fame, now would it? It is, after all, a very competiative market and a cut throat one at that. And its a market that women really do feel the pressure to be ridiculously Thin, to not have any physical normalities, I say normalities because the idea of Hollywood-Media perfection simply isn't HUMAN,

and of course, Ageism is particularly a demon in Hollywood, especially for women. So, I'm not surprised that many actresses and actors, media entertainers, etc., do turn to drugs, either legal or illegal, are you? Who could live that life under the constant strain and watch of the society? They live literally like bugs under the microscope,

but what is horrid, is that its the Public, who demands this feeding frenzy. We need stars, so we think, we need those lives that take us from our own dull, drab lives, meanwhile, we sit and live vicariously and life passes us by--IF we are taken up by that whole dream world. And that dream world, influences everything from consumption to politics to relationships. How many of us, have at one time, had unrealistic expectations because of what we see on Images? Through Images?

Its funny because God says, 'Thou shall not carve any graven image to bow down and worship' and we always think that is just totem poles and cement carved cows. Not so,

I believe they can be images in our minds, from either our own creation or following the 'images' of others. To worship them--exactly what is worship? Is it just singing in front of someone, telling them you adore them? I don't think so, because many times the Bible says, that 'they worshiped the things of silver and gold made with their hands, of wood, copper, etc., even iron',

and that those things have not life nor can they speak, love, etc.

And we do -- Do that...we love the things that human kind has created, All of course, which we forget, come from something that is made from the natural environment made by God. But we take those things and we mold them and we carve them and we weave them and we make 'things' and then we prop them up, as the icons of human endeavors and success,

and yet, we are Miserable.

Why is that?

We can have a home and life full of THINGS, just like those guitars in Uptown Girls, sure, they have sentimental value,

but we can't eat them, we can't dance with them, we can't hold them and they hold us back...eventually,

we all die, and the things remain--either to be sold, auctioned, passed on, thrown out, burned up, rusted through, you name it...those things, one day, will wind up either in a landfill or in someone's attic.

But people, people are flesh and blood---

so, in closing, I will miss you Brittany Murphy, and as I finish the embroidery on this pillow case, I will remember how your work touched my life--my heart,

and may I remember, that no matter how many things or loss of, this life,

is just that, its a fading flower, but God is eternal. And for me, Jesus, is the one thing, that never passes away or fails,

because in Him, is eternal life--and in Him,

the child in me, Never, has to die.

IN rememberance,

Jane