QUESTIONING FAITH WHEN FEAR HAS BEEN THE ULTIMATE WEAPON OF SILENCING

Notes from the Wilderness:

Yesterday I was at another cross road, hanging out off and on, on another blog, reading, and I commented on several things.  When I do this I think what I really do is come to an end or sometimes a beginning of a type of inner wrestling over topics or issues that I have been in conflict over, or questioning God about.  I will read comments and posts on certain blogs and a few will trigger me, and I write I think now, more to work out my own conflicts.  It's not that I am not discussing via writing with others, sometimes I am, sometimes I admit, I get to this point where I can no longer remain silent when I see warped LOGIC being spewed, and I think what really annoys me is two things, 1.  reading how others [referring to Christians here but I've seen this on other blogs where there is some level of adherence to ideology] will pander, apologetically, to some of the most Absurd thinking/beliefs out there, rather than just confronting the blatant evil and I'm not sure if this is due to the fact that we've have been so indoctrinated into a type of fascist group think self policing control OR if our minds and consciences are so dull that we simply do not KNOW the difference between good and evil?  I can't say because it's complex I think and when I THINK I know the answer I find, very soon, that I actually don't.  2.  the other thing that annoys me is the tendency for some to just flat out 'avoid' hard issues or who don't or who refuse to deal with the pushing the envelope so to speak, I tend to be a turner over of rocks, it gets me into a LOT of trouble with people, because I can go so many ways.  I'm not good with adherence simply because it's been decided on some kind of group consensus, religious or otherwise, I tend to be the one that says, well, What about This?  And I see that more and more in our world that simply is not to be tolerated, why again, I think it's related to the above, simply put, I believe we have become a species that is totalitarian in mindset, in that we Fear even questioning our own selves.  And it's this reason, or this basis rather, that I am going to now, post part of what I replied on yesterday and I will write it out here, work it out here.  One of these days, I may have to compile all these mental absurd and sometimes clarity LOL notations and put them into a book, What type of book, hell if I know, na, too much energy and well, would it help anyone?  Probably not, sometimes though I fall back into that whole academia 'let's write some genius theory' grandeur baloney, LOL.  Hey, it's fun to dream now and then, takes the edge off, if you know what I mean...and old habits are hard to break---Dang, That's what it is, funny how God will do that, it's just that, I spent years reading, all kinds of theory [philosophy/political] from so many ages, loving that whole debate and questioning and the whole oh what's the meaning of life and the coffee and cigarettes circle jerking LOL, while in college, those were the days, I do miss them, even as a non-traditional student just the Thought, of having the potential to actually Change the world, to have a Vision, it was being ALIVE, and the thing was, we weren't being pulled from sound bytes and group think that pulls to a set stage, that already HAS a center point of unmovable adherence to a belief, like it is on the internet....but rather, we were exposed [and encouraged, at least for a while] to all sorts of ideas, within a small space** at least, where we were Free to challenge preconceived notions, beliefs, and come up with NEW ones.  Based on Reading, BOOKS, written by THINKERS OF OLD, AND NEW, not from group think sound byte semi-cults.  [my new term, like it?] The **small space, sadly refers to however, in academia, what I would realize later, because as a rock turner, I questioned even the supposedly 'free thought' under this facade of radical revolutionary new left thinking and did the unpardonable, LOL, I read, BOOKS, FROM THE ENEMY, OUCH!  Well not a lot of books but enough, where I saw a crack, in the whole free thinking radicalism, which I term really, as the Leftist 'Controlled' within small space Radical Questioning, where they give you Just enough rope, to dupe you into believing that YOU are challenging the Status Quo when in reality, or actuality, you are only standing in a corner of the surface of the whole, the masters, magistrates hold the reigns, of the yoke around your mental neck....and they train your mind to go where they intend for it to, and you will not deviate from that because YOU'VE been indoctrinated, quite cleverly, to believe that you are so radical, so different, so not like the drones of society, [usually right wing] and that you are FREE, when Truth is, you're not free at all, you're only given the Facade of freedom under a tightly controlled SOCIAL 'FASCIST' EXPERIMENT.  Ah yes, the joys of higher education...that is also connected to the mass media, the entertainment industry, the consumer industry because the social psychology marketing techniques which are Highly mind control that is in that [they don't even hide this fact, take a international marketing class, you'd be shocked at what they are doing to our minds, esp the young],  and culture mores, etc., and revolutionary political 'psyops' through group oriented action--what Lenin would call, to Electrify, LOL.  Anyway, you can FORGET 'INDIVIDUAL' THOUGHT, THINKING, ACTION, even among Libertarians it is group think controlled, based Always on the doctrines of MEN, women need not apply.  Even feminism, that Used to be somewhat 'women centered' has now been so hijacked with doctrines of Men that while it's subtle, there is a thread of misogyny woven in, if one has their consciousness alert, they can see it.  And it comes from many angles so if you look long enough, you see that even that course has been altered and is controlled by a much larger force, the question is, what is that force? It was partly due to this dissonance that I got back into the Bible two years ago, well a year and a half, I'm losing track of that time but I know it was somewhere around there and like a puzzle pieces started to fit.  However, as soon as I got back into the dynamics of Christiandom, I was shocked, to say the least, at the levels of social controls within, that were very reminiscent of the mind control psyop experiments that I saw in both fascist right and fascist left groups/cults of personality type of indoctrination via subtle manipulative controls, be they academic, psychological, social, institutional, etc.  I started to question God, the Bible, Jesus, I brought in a lot of Marxism and Leninism to the discussions in my prayer time, sometimes I was quite hostile.  I simply was not content to just accept at face value the rhetoric and cliches given by so many Christians, especially when I could see two things, well no, three, 1.  total lack of love that acts [where I kept referring back to the truth that at least the left, actually does act, on behalf of the suffering, not just sit around and circle jerk over theory--well some do but it's not the core, the Core of Marxism is to NOT philosophize but to Change the World, that is what attracted me to Marxism, or one of things]. 2.  no power or manifestation of the Holy Spirit like it was testified in the Word and that I would see over time, and I will be coming back to this later.... 3.  abuse, so blatant, across the board, doctrines that are all about and OBSESSED WITH, the hierarchy of men over women, leaders over sheep---Jesus kind of pops in the obsession here and there--as a small token, rather than the center, not only that, so much of the solutions offered to these problems, is psychological in nature, which knowing how Those social controls work, that kind of put up this 'red flag', there Is good, in psychology, don't get me wrong, but like with any other science, it can be cleverly used to create a group think that is easily steered and manipulated into a borg like state, that will comply without question, and That is dangerous.  Put it this way, red herring, all there is to it.  I especially don't like how so much of it is being used, applied to 'heal women', and here is why. The industry, institution of psychology, if you know anything about it, one is bourgeoisie so from the leftist [far left] analysis it's been proven to be the social tool to dupe the masses into trusting the very ones that will tear their soul asunder...this is why Lenin and Mao hated it, Stalin used it of course, so did Hitler, it is in fact a tool of the Illuminati [worship of Egyptian gods, other gods], as for women, it IS historically and factually one of the most sinister, hideous, soul destroying forces that have been applied and used against women, especially poor women, women of color.  That is fact.  It has been used in applied state terror-torture, so to trust, in this field, blindly, is complete suicide.  Just because it's in the hands of so called Christians, the science of, is in the control of the administration/boards that are under the control of Big Brother, to put mildly.  If Big Brother is lenient, one might survive the controls, if Big Brother is tyrannical, beware...you're being SET UP.  And set up for one big fall... The thing is tyranny doesn't come up always with a raging steel murderous face, usually it comes with the facade of sweetness, understanding, kindness, luring you in, to the WEB, and then, Boom, you're the meal... Oh how we so forget, that though, is due to another 'social control' called education, dumb them down enough, especially historical knowledge, revise it enough, play with the words enough, and you can do just about anything..... religion and education have been two of the mass tools to create blind compliance and obedience, add to that media, the manipulation of the brain waves through images, and there you go.... you got Dominion. So how does all this wrap up, with what I posted yesterday, when answering this man, why I still believe after all the manifestations of 'cults' and 'spiritual abuse' in Christianity?  Well, taking part, of what I replied to him, below, I will close, and will come back, later and expand on this some more...I may also edit this, but for now...my reply to this man, who ironically is named Adam, LOL [garden of Eden, get it], will tie it in all together later. My reply to his question, why do we believe with all this abuse [esp to women] when it's obvious the abuse stems from the root of the ideology of faith... Adam, I'm glad you asked because this is something I have been thinking on all day since I read your question, and I believe it reveals to me a lot of the cognitive dissonance or the reason for, where my faith is concerned. You said it well, the root of the abuse a.k.a. the ideology. Ditto, that's it, it is the Fundamentals of Christianity that have been distorted, warped, and abused... I thought on this today, many including myself use the term fundies or fundamentalists, as The culprit of so many of the problems, but IS it really? Atheists and agnostics tend to look at the Whole or Entire picture, of Christian Culture, rather than pick and choose [feminists do this as well and a lot of the dissonance I have had is over the consciousness of misogyny in religious texts, yes I am feminist] anyhow, they look at the entire puzzle, rather than pick piece here, there, because one, they do not have the conflict inside themselves [esp the fear of hell] that forbids them to SEE with eyes wide Open, the fallacies or harms in the root ideology. Or fundamentals of a faith. Where it gets to be even a bigger problem is you have this group, that group, placing Blame on interpretations, OR giving the usual cliche that oh hippie Jesus is kind, loving, etc., the modern day Jesus, and the Root of the ideology is again, shelved, either there is adament strict adherance to the literal form of doctrine/belief OR a modernized [and this is where I do have reservations about the use of social psychology 'mind controls that are social in agenda' being filtered or assimilated into] mixture that once it has taken root will weaken the fundamentals of faith. [I get this reservation not from religious fundie views but from knowledge of how psychology has been used as a stratification to control the masses via political and social controls, see Michael Parenti Democracy for the Few or Friendly fascism by Russel I believe.] continued below

June 16, 2010 8:22 PM

JaneDoeThreads said...

anyway as to your question as to why we still believe, well, for me, the question really was after Years of being away from the toxicity of 'religion' [in all it's forms, varying degrees and actually being around and exposed to those ideologies that were either questioning the common sense [if there was any] of faith OR that were just down right hostile to [science materialism, etc], I had the opportunity to see and think, from a CRITICAL VIEWPOINT, AGAINST FAITH, rather than just being UNDER FAITH. So my question would be, or observation is that it's not really the 'fundamentalists' who are at fault, but the understanding or LACK OF, the FUNDAMENTALS OF THE FAITH, A.K.A. BIBLE, in the first place. And it's here that I think a lot of the issues of spiritual abuse, cultural abuse, misogyny, power abuse, hierarchy, so forth do become fundamentally warped due to the culture and historical lens that affect the literal interpretation, does that make sense? That in addition to the blatant ignoring of history, that clearly shows there is something quite flawed, in many interpretations, I think begs to be explored. However, to bring this about, makes many uncomfortable because it then really is a matter of Questioning whether the Faith in of itself is healthy or toxic... so instead there is the 'shift blame' on this group, that group, and this is where I think atheists and non believers have a very valid point. If Christianity is so good, then Where is the Fruit? Something I been thinking on a lot, it's one thing, to spew the right doctrine, it's quite another, to live it and it Show...and the problem I think is, point blank, we do NOT show the Love of God that we do lay claim to, in our lives, and haven't for years. Paul says, in Bible that in the end days, they will have a Form of Godliness, but deny the power thereof, so what is that Power, and to deny means to not live by. In other words, there is no signs, wonders, or manifestations of the Power of the transforming Power of the Holy Spirit, all there is is words, empty, cliche, words. And unbelievers or those who question, simply ain't buying the kool aid any longer. And if they aren't, then God isn't either. To me, it becomes more, about what is real, and I want, what is Real...not just empty, words. I thank Adam, for asking this, I think, we All, should ask this, every single day. Love, MORE ON THIS LATER... LOVE, JANE