TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON, A TIME TO BUILD AND A TIME TO DESTROY

 

Notes from the Wilderness

 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which  is planted;

 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

 Eccl 3:1-3, there Comes a time when one has to come to terms with the Reality of what they've built and what other's have built and planted around them, there comes a time when one has to accept the Reality that bad foundations cannot be built upon and succeed, no matter What one does, the house will still crumble.  There comes a time in one's life when they have to face the Truth, the Sin, the Lies and then deal with the reaping...but Does it end there?

No, it does not, many I believe are attempting to save or recycle what is being shaken and Will fall, because they are afraid to admit or see that the foundation was wrong and that the whole thing was nothing but a Fraud to begin with.  It is a grieving to face up to Loss, especially Loss caused by sin and disobedience, including being Deceived.  Rather than face up to the fact that we've been deceived by others and by our own deceitful lusts we tend to focus on the blame of others "Only" and  or we tend to blame God...and we'll do all in our power to fix, repair, recycle, rebuild.  But God won't bless it, no matter what, because it wasn't formed by God in the first place, not in God's will nor by His design.  He allows us to go our own way and make our mistakes, and sometimes He will restore, but there are other times where He allows it all to crumble, and That I believe is when WE have to decide, who do we love and honor more....Him and His teaching us [the hard lessons learned] OR our own pride and sinful stubbornness to hold onto something that really isn't worth holding on to, not only that, but in doing so, we truly are just building our own PRISONS.  

This is true for toxic relationships as well, there is Only so much a person can do, when the other or others simply refuse to choose to take Ownership of their contribution to the failures, then one can Pretend all is well and the house will still fall Or one can simply decide, enough is enough, and tear the damn thing down.  Or burn it down...and start over,

and sometimes, burning it down and starting over, like burning down an overgrown field that without the burning will only cause more damage to forestation and crops, etc., erosion and so forth...is the Only way, to begin afresh and to rebuild, New Life.

It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. Proverbs 21:9,

you know This applies to living in a house with an abusive man as well, or a job with an abusive boss, etc., not just about women, not only that, this scripture taken by misogynists quite often, is really misunderstood like numerous other scriptures.  The corner of a housetop represents Prayer & Peace with God, solace, a small piece of Ownership, which is Contrary to the Rule of the King over Castle doctrine that patriarchy loves to spew.  The corner of the housetop, a.k.a. roof, also represents Humility, that it's better to sit quiet and strive for Peace & acceptance by God rather than to Insist on one's own way, one's own rule over much...it is the Insistence on the rule of the 'wide house' that causes the brawling woman, OR brawling man, or children, or Pestilence, etc.,  in some instances...the foolish woman tears down her own house,

Proverbs 14:1, 
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

Women can tear down their own house by the insistence of building upon a really rotten foundation.  Jesus said, to those who obey Him and build upon the Rock--that Rock by the way, is  our Hearts, same goes for the 'church', the Rock Jesus spoke of to Peter, on this rock I will build my church and the gates of hell won't prevail against it, was Not a rock in physical with a physical 'institutional' church which was a LIE OF MAN TO TAKE AND BUILD 'HIS' OWN CHURCH WITH 'HIS' OWN INTENT OF BEING A 'god' --  but the rock of the human heart....the church being the Body of Christ, within ourselves, if we allow Jesus to come in, HE builds the church, us in the Body, in our hearts, on that Rock and the gates of hell, will Not prevail against it....

see my point is, what man's doctrines and traditions, the carnal mind tends to do either by taking the word literally or by relying on teachings of others is we tend to look at things in the material--when really they are Spiritual.  The Root of our problems lays within our very own hearts, WE can't control what others do nor Life around us...we can Only control our reactions to and/or our building or sowing....now by sowing negative/destructive yes we do altar the course of our lives but all in all Life is controlled by God, and as well as the free will of others.  Life is a force, a force of nature, sow destruction you wind up with Chaos, chaos reaps more chaos, it's a cause and effect, by our actions OR the actions of others and by OUR own REACTIONS TO THEIR ACTIONS, now the Totality of outcome IS under the control of God that HE has already spoken into existence, in other words, do such and such and These things will result, do such and such and Those things will result, so CHOOSE these things, etc.  

I do not believe God micro-manages everything, nor does He always intervene, I believe more and more He allows us to choose, fall, get back up, learn, and grow, of course HE does the work Inside of us, now whether we Choose to Obey that leading, is up to us.  As to what others do, we don't have control over that...and That is when WE have to decide,

WHO CONTROLS US?

I have spent an entire life trying to mold life, my existence to an IDEAL, be it an image ideal from Christianity [which is nothing more than churchianity/mensianity] or by the images of the secular [world]  OR  THE IDEALS AND WANTS OF 'OTHERS' and I've come up short, time and time again, not true to myself nor to God, and as a result the house is on rotten foundation, rather than the Rock, and what results with that is desolation.  Now there are various Reasons and Contributions to this, it can be done through bitterness, not dealing with pain, emulating false ideals, greed, etc etc etc and probably a combination of all these.  I am of the belief now that a Lot of what we do to ourselves and sadly to others [the fruit] is due to our own fears and insecurities...especially the fear of rejection and exile and Especially the FEAR OF LOSS.  

To be 'true' to self and to God [and I am believing the more one is truthful with God the more true to self you become, that mirror image] takes the facing up to fear...and often the fear of being alone.  To walk alone with God takes great courage and faith, we look for affirmation from others which is Why I think we get into the messes we do because those affirmations are those IDEALS, we strive to attain--those fantasies that are just that, fantasies.  

As for loss, for those of us who have had little Life joy and many losses especially at the hands of others, we still have the ability to Control what is Inside of US, rather than Be controlled by the evil deeds and intents of others.  Life Jesus said is not in what one possesses...Solomon who had Everything, wrote in Eccl., that life was futility, that in the end All that matters is serving and obeying God.  Why is that?  Because God is truly the Life, LIFE FORCE, we were Created, by Him, for Him, outside of that there IS no true Life, there can't be, it's like not having the other 'half' of our-self,

we look for that half in marriage, but even then, we do not truly have it because our 'mates' did NOT create us, God did.  The Lord God did...so even In marriage [this is especially true for women] our purpose was always number one, to Serve Him, to find our Self in Him, our Meaning, our Other half, in Him...our Heart & Soul half, is Only in Jesus Christ, our WHOLENESS is only in HIM

but alas we in our blindness build, struggle, stubborn and then we lose...and then grieve, Why God oh Why?  Because the whole meaning, of it all, was to find our other half--Him, our Creator, our Mirror Image, Mirror...our LIFE.  So, there is a Season, a time to build, and then, a time to destroy,

and to start over, but this time...letting HIM, build, as He so chooses and then we find real Freedom and real LIFE.  So I am now tearing down, years of what I built, in foolish utility, in foolish idealism, and you know something,

after the grieving is over, it begins to Feel pretty damn good, to have nothing, but only the Wind at my back, my Lover Jesus in front and inside of the WHOLE ME, leading the way...where we go from here I do not know, but this I do know,

this is Real LIFE and it feels good, to be truly, ALIVE!

Peace,

Jane  [on photo see below]

PHOTO LINK FROM http://froggy300.wordpress.com/2009/12/29/good-reads/, it was one of the few warrior-with arrow and fire photos I liked and She has oh my gosh Clothes on, no ridiculous ass & crotch bearing and steel bra over cantaloupe breasts, lol...which no women in her right mind would go to do battle with...the one BIG 'gripe' that I have with fantasy or depictions of female warriors, the whole male fantasy porn fuck dream warrior, or the other pole, in some of the Christian depictions, she's either looks like a man with such heavy armor that she can't Move or she looks like she should be baking cookies rather than bearing a sword.  This photo isn't realistic either with the whole dress on top of the rock, I mean cuzz like Yea we KNOW women climb mountain tops with long ass gowns [I live near mountains] or like Croft in the Lora Croft depictions, yea cuzz she's always half ass naked ya know cuzz those rocks feel So good scraping skin, Bwaaaa...ah but the Joys of using images/artwork from the fantasies of other minds, gets the point across maybe but Not so sure about REALISM.  But oh well crapola, I am no artist so I have to go with what's out there, in web land, one of the reasons I did go a lot with the Final Fantasy depictions because at Least the women/girl characters are half ass covered, the sad thing is, is finding  out how many Women artists are responsible for many of the ridiculous warrior depictions, it isn't just male artists, now That one, I simply do not have an explanation for, I suppose the belief is, that if a female warrior can arouse a man he'll be too stupid and women will have the advantage, that inner misogyny & fear of rejection based on patriarchal sexuality constructs Still going strong--which is in Reality, very Sad indeed, particularly since these constructs are very strong in their influence on young women today...so any Women artists out there, we Need Realistic female warrior depictions...can we at Least drop the T & A shots, Plaleese!   Unless those T & A can shoot out bullets, I really see no reason why they always have to be huge, bare and strapped with metal thongs, barbs and prongs, like Good Grief.  [end of rant]