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STEPFORD WIVES R US EXPOSING COURT WHORES MAFIA SCUM

Thousands of children are tortured and raped repeatedly in private run juvenile prisons...let's keep this in mind.


STEPFORD WIVES R US EXPOSING THE SLAVERY PENAL HOLOCAUST SYSTEM

Women, need to realize, that the fastest growing population of the Prison SEX RAPE SLAVERY businesses is in fact, WOMEN. That includes, WOMEN JAILED FOR SELF DEFENSE WHICH IN THIS NATION, SISTER, WE DON'T HAVE A RIGHT TOO, we are not MEN nor ANIMAL, women get 50 to Life for Self Defense, against rape, abuse, repeated abuse and torture. Even for not dying while getting beat near to death, a man can kill or torture a child, and the WOMAN-MOTHER will be the one who gets the longer time in prison [if he even gets charged], AND IF the woman gets sentenced with mental health--she can expect to be Lobotomized by force.

COMMUNIST WOMEN ARMY NEPAL WHAT TRUTH LOOKS LIKE

COMMUNIST WOMEN ARMY NEPAL WHAT TRUTH LOOKS LIKE
FIGHTING 'TRAFFICKING' NOT SUPPORTING IT LIKE THE TRAITOR BOURGEOISIE 'FAKE' SOCIALIST AND COMMIE PORN CULTURE THUGS OF THE WEST

LETTERS FROM A CONCUBINE/WHORE PART3, The Whore/Concubines Vision Works like a Prism into the Hearts of Humanity, through the Darkness and the Mask of 'lies of the angel of darkness', Which Beast Image do we Worship Jesus?


"There will never be true Restoration for women Until the Whore is Restored to Her Humanity in the Hearts of Humanity, All Humanity, male and female,  because the Whore is also All Women, not the other way around, that has been the biggest lie and deception to keep all women enslaved to 'man'.  Marriage is a certificate of clean conscience for the Man to Own his private whore, nothing more...the Delusion has been that marriage is for the protection of Women, yet in the second page of Genesis we see that Marriage did not protect Her, it Sold Her into being his 'commodity whore', his 'body' to take at his whim, thus the beginning of the sale and barter and loot in war, of Women, the beginning of slavery, from the foundation of Woman as Whore.  This is the Ugly Truth, that deconstructs the Lies of MALE VIRTUE UNDER GOD, more than any other argument out there.  It is the One Truth, that God Almighty Himself, sees and Knows, intimately, the creation of the Whore, that result of the knowledge Knowing of Good and Evil, is The mirror image, of who Man is, who He is afraid of, who His conscience is pricked, why He hates her so...because in Her, He sees the God He disobeyed, the God HE betrayed, the God that He longs for, but is separated, because He chose her, His love for Her, over God.  She had the power over Him, Love....and man has hated Love ever since...She on the other hand, created to receive Love to create Love, like Mother Earth, like a field, a temple, what you plant into her is what you will reap back, was The Power yet the Vulnerability that could be lured either way, to the light or to the dark, SHE was the KEY to the Dominion of the Planet, if one could Win her over, they had to whole ballpark...Eve was the key, not Adam, the Instinct of Woman is a Power that the enemy and hater of her soul knows all to well has abilities that God can use, her body like her instinct is the field that is fought over, controlled, hidden, bartered, destroyed.  She can go Either way with this power, and the Powers that Be both know it.  This is one of the secrets that the Religious Magistrates that are of Darkness do all to destroy the Instinct, inner Knowing of Women, IF they can demonize her, strip her through rape, own her and abuse her to the point where she will not listen to her Instinct, they have shut one more key to the space where God Himself may dwell...that is a dangerous thing for the kingdom of darkness.  The silence of woman, of Eve, her sitting still and Hearing God, is dangerous indeed, and the powers of hell will do all to either shut her down, destroy her or Own her/control her, this is Why it says that the inner woman/man is precious, PRECIOUS, in God's SIGHT.  But the ironic thing is, it's in the darkness of hell that She hears the voice of God more than if protected in castles of ivory...because while the Lord God put Woman into a dangerous position, the result of the knowing of good and evil, knowing full well she would be Receiving into her through the rape/abuse of MEN, He also, put Enmity between her and the serpent, Satan.  So in All Women, there is a hatred, of Satan, and in Satan, a hatred of Woman.  Satan may own some women, there Are women who believing they'll be protected will join Satan's side, there are Women who will Hate the Lord God who put them into the predicaments, this is also Satan's work, through the Heart of Woman, this is Her choice, which I believe works through the deceptions of both darkness of darkness and the false light mask [religion] of darkness.  Knowing, good and evil...

the Instinct, goes towards Life, Eve, mother of All living, IF woman learns to listen to that force, for this She must reconcile peace with Mother Earth, another Mother of Living, the Bible calls the Earth SHE.  Cursed is the earth for your sake to Adam the Lord God said, she will produce thorns, etc.  Man must work/sow into the earth for the earth to produce crops, if man neglects the earth or rapes her, which he does, for gold, silver, minerals, OIL, violence, the earth will produce thorns, decay and destruction.  There IS healing, in knowing the power of Life through the Earth, it was God who created her and God whose life force through her, through the elements, produces herb and seeds bearing herbs, trees, etc.  To know the cycle of life is NOT the same as 'worshiping' the earth, though the Woman Haters will lay claim to this, because to Respect the life force of earth one cannot justify demonizing Woman.  Nor can they justify forcing Woman into Whoredom.  When men abuse woman, when men abuse the Whore, he sows the seeds of death, he sows death into not just woman but into the earth because She, is the mother of living...whether she bears children or not, she is still mother of living, to kill, rape, destroy her, is to kill, rape, destroy Life, one cannot lay claim to the Tree of Life, while supporting the Evil that Kills Life.  This is what it means in Revelations when it talks about those who have not defiled themselves with Women, it cannot be those who do not marry because God said, the marriage bed is undefiled, so it must mean something else...Could it mean, those who do not defile, Abuse woman, the Whore?  It must, because in the end of Revelations, it says those who do not enter Kingdom of Heaven, one listed i the Whoremonger, but not Whore.  One who abuses Whores, one who, abuses/rapes/defiles Women.  To abuse a Whore, a Woman, is to abuse Life, the source, that God created, in His image, male And female....now Here's the clincher, who has created all the desire to abuse women?  In Revelations it talks about the Mother of Harlots, the Whore of Babylon.  No girl, that I know of, desires to be a Whore, no woman desires to be abused, raped, degraded, soul assassinated slowly.  So then, what Does that mean, Mother of Harlots?  I believe it means the Mother of Lust in Men's Hearts, the Mother that gives birth to Death, that blasphemes God, meaning blaspheming what is Good, Whole, Pure, Decent, Life giving.  The Mother of Harlots creates the abuse of women and girls/and boys And creates the hatred in hearts that will blaspheme God, that will Turn and Hate Love, because Love, has been twisted, in a Lie, to hurt and destroy them.  This is how I see it...why I do not know but this is how I see it, it's not in a literal 'religious' book-Bible form, if one takes the book, the Bible literally, one would come away seeing God as the hater of women, particularly the Old Testament.  In Proverbs it talks, a warning to men, not to enter into the whores place, that hell resides there.  To take this literal, it would mean that the whore, the woman is some unfeeling evil witch that just lures men to pull them into hell, but that's not all it means, because If one knows the Reality of Whoredom, one knows that especially in That era, women, young girls were Forced into that life against their will, and once a Whore there was No possibility for marriage, and there was no Walmarts then, so, she was stuck, and over time, not long either, her heart would turn and HATE men and GOD...[unless she sees the light and Rahab obviously Did see the light because SHE knew, prior to the spies, that God was coming...SHE KNEW, A WHORE KNEW, SO GOD TALKED TO THE WHORE...HE REVEALED TO THE 'WHORE' so the verses in Proverbs does not mean, obviously that it's the Whore that is hell, oh no, but the Abusing her and the Raping her, that will lead men into Hell [and lead women too because yes women do pay to rape just like men, not As much, no, but it Does happen, women have been madames, have assisted in gang rapes in Yugoslavia, for example and have trafficked women, case in Israel not too long ago, women can be Just as evil as men, in abusing the Whore],  it Isn't the whore or the WOMAN that is the Evil,

it is the ABUSING, RAPING, DEFILING, HATING, DESTROYING WOMAN, THE WHORE, THAT IS THE 'EVIL' AND THE MOTHER OF BABYLON IS THE FORCE, THAT PRODUCES AND PERPETUATES AND DESIGNS THAT DESTRUCTION THAT TURNS INTO, THE BLASPHEMING OF GOD, BECAUSE 'HE' IS THE ONE, THAT GETS BLAMED.  GOD AND WOMAN, THE WHORE, SHARE SOMETHING HERE, THEY BOTH, GET THE BLAME, FOR MAN'S 'EVIL' DEEDS....THEY BOTH RECEIVE THE HATRED OF MANKIND'S HATE OF WOMAN...The Lord God will put hatred, between the Serpent and the Woman, between her seed and his [serpent's] seed...

This is not a Thus saith the Lord here, just what and how I have seen this unfold in my heart-mind, when walking through this dark forest, I still struggle with the literal interpretations of the Bible, which do produce a lot of fear and terror for me as well as hate of God, because of things in my life I had no control over, though later influenced my choices to a very large degree, from a deeply wounded soul.  Returning to the Earth, has been one of the things that has healed me, to see God in a different light...from a Whore's lens, rather than a religious one.  What I believe, though could be similar in ways to Paganism or Wicca, is not the same, I am well aware of those beliefs, I am also aware how the haters of women, the creators of Whores, have taken some of those beliefs, twisted them and either used them OR have demonized All things related to Female, to Life, as evil, to hinder Women, from tapping into the Instincts, that God has given them...this is what I believe.  To know Life, to respect Life, TO NOURISH LIFE is to Know or be on the path to God, not the other way around.  One who respects the Life, that loves Life and the Source of All Life, God, in no way, can justify the abuse of women Nor can they be indifferent to the abuse of women or any human...to do so, is the opposite of Love, If God is Love, as John says, then God, is NOT the hater of Women.  And there are numerous scriptures that reveal, hidden things, about this fact....but Religion, has poisoned both the minds and souls and instincts of Women.  Especially, by using the threat of the lie of Whoredom, the Terror of, through rape, through prostitution, through trafficking, through marital rape/abuse, and by Doing these evils to Women, to turn her against God, Her maker.  The Mother of Harlots, blasphemes and causes the blasphemers of God...where the pit of hell is, the brothel, the house, where the Whore sits, where the Woman, is horribly abused till she is destroyed and she will believe unless Truth is told, that it's God, who is her destroyer, the opposite, of LIFE.


I just wished, I could really confirm this unfolding through the Bible, but there is so much misogynist language in the Bible that I cannot, and it breaks my heart...the Bible, to me produces fear, especially when I question these things, it's only when I get alone with God in nature that I can sift through and feel peace...an inner peace, that the Bible, sadly doesn't always give, at least not in the New Testament....I blame the MEN for this, I really do.  IF I go by the Bible, literally, I get the picture of the ACDC video, Thunderstruck, it takes a lot of careful pricking and reading, taking out a few 'key's here and there, in HOW God talked to Women through Jesus, that is So contrary to Paul's letters/and the other books.  More on this later...


Greetings, from the Letters of a Whore/Concubine

I wanted to post at top there, some of what I've been pondering, though again, like I said, when I read the Bible and get the literal I really do struggle, especially with fear and hating God.  It is for this reason I had to leave Christianity, and begin to Deconstruct, not just the Bible but beliefs about God that have been learned, through Christianity...because they are extremely misogynist and indifferent to the pain that Whores live with, I think that all women live with, if Women are honest.

The Bible, literally, especially in Revelations, makes it appear that women are evil, that women aren't even In the Kingdom of Heaven, and I believe it was Deliberately written that way.  It has caused me to even Question the legitimacy of the Bible...I do know, the deconstructionists, the atheists, have tons of Evidence that proves a very strong case on this issue.  There Are letters, that even the Catholic Church admits to, one from Mary of Magdelene, that were in the Dead Sea Scrolls but they are so deteriorated, so they say, that they can't be read.  I do not know,


what I do know, is that Jesus, rebuked the Pharisees for their Literal interpretation of God's Word in the Old Testament Texts...they KNEW the law like no other, yet they rejected the Corner Stone.  I also look at the Lord God in the OT, who says, HE created evil [in Isaiah], who said He would whet his sword, He would destroy [Ezekiel, Isaiah, Jeremiah, to Abraham about Sodom, etc], so like, I see Jesus, the Lord God as one who can be meek and one who can be fierce, one who can do blessing and one who can send out the destroyer...or give us over to, however that works...


so He is intimate, obviously with evil, that and the Cross, He had to be...it's funny because in Revelations it doesn't say, those who stay Pure or those who do Avoid evil, oh no, it says, those who OVERCOME evil,


to Overcome something one must Know it, one must have intimacy with it, on some level, Paul says to overcome evil with good, rather than to be overcome by it.


But this isn't so easy for the Whore, because, while yes, Jesus said nothing that enters into a Man, can defile him, but what comes out of the heart....Jesus also says, when man woman join they are one flesh, and Paul reinforces this,


so when a woman is receiving a man, she isn't just eating and like Jesus said, it goes through the drought, because she receives into herself, this is Why rape is so traumatic, this is why a broken sexual relationship is so traumatic, this is why Whores hearts become hardened and disconnected, there is a Spiritual damage that occurs, something that happens Inside of her,


so this is one of those questions I do ask Jesus a lot, You say Jesus that nothing will defile me but I, here as Woman, beg to differ, it not only defiles it destroys, maybe the Man can walk away unscathed but I get to live with the Demons that haunt me, the self hate, the shame, the inner abyss, the death, the seeing my inner child die, the dreams die, my soul die...


and this at a young age, so you can't tell me that you can put me in a place that I receive this death then I am not defiled by it?  Of course I am...my Heart IS effected, to say it isn't, is a lie...it might be something a Man might say,


and this is when I'll scream, Jesus be a Woman, Then we'll talk....because you come at it from a Man's lens, one who Enters, not one who Receives and against her will,


but then, God shows me, that His temple, He receives all the time, against His will, this is why Jesus drove OUT the money changers and tables...My House will be a House of Prayer He says,


not a house you can bring in your idols and strange fire and lies and robbery.  Taking from me, lips that speak love but Hearts that are far from me...


so maybe God does know what it feels like to be invaded, to be raped, to be manipulated, to be lied to, to be forced.


God and Whore, Woman, have something in common here.  Love, in Hosea, God says you're like the adulterous woman [the only way man can care is if it's about Him, obviously and God knew this, man's EGO] and she leaves and then do you take her back and no you don't, etc., but then God says,


but I am asking you, Israel, to come back to me....


Love, woos, Love wants, Love desires,


and Love is betrayed, Love is raped, Love is spit upon, Love is abused, Love is hated, Love is mocked, Love is stripped naked, Love is passed around as if cheap, Love is ridiculed, Love is demeaned, Love is beaten, Love is left, forsaken, destroyed,


or is it?


Love protects Love....Love is intimate with evil because Love has felt evil...Love is the one force that evil hates, and that is hated, Love fights evil....it has to, to overcome it.


In this video, which is dark but I tend to like dark videos because they are far more Truthful than the majority of your Disney World optimist Christian songs that have little to no depth, how can they, how can any Love have depth if it's not felt evil, known darkness to even Desire Light?  Paul was blinded, for days, prior...a seed, to develop strong Roots must be planted in DARKNESS, throw a seed on top of soil it Won't grow unless it's a small seed and then it's not fail proof, the Strong plants are always those seeds that must be planted Deep in Darkness, Jesus, the Cross, was planted Deep into the Earth, that Same Mother Earth that shook, the earthquake once Jesus died...


evil, rapers, of Whores, are like vampires, haters of Women, of Life, are vampires, to fight evil, this woman, I believe she was either half wolf/vampire or something to that accord but she has to Know evil, to overcome Evil...and it was Love that drove her,


this song, says something that I wonder....day by day it's the same, there is no love and there is no pain.


With no pain, there is No love, only Deadness...the world, the Underworld, of the Dead.


This is one Whore, that is fighting the vampires, that is hanging onto Love, though desolate, the Hope of Love inside her, this is one Whore that is fighting NOT to hate God, to Believe...and she knows, to do that,


she'll have to fight the darkness, and the demons that haunt her.  The other video, is how I see Jesus a lot, waiting in the house/Heaven alone, like a stone...because Heaven, Love, was a lie...a betrayal...but he waits and believes and hopes...like a stone, God says the whore's forehead, like a stone hard, He's referring to the heart's many loves other Than God, but it can also mean, the many deaths, that cause Love to die...


she knows So many images, So many different faces, promises, that all turned out to be Lies, they are all beasts, to worship/love the beasts, to hope in the beasts, Maybe this one, Maybe...the living the yo yo existence, all that she sees, oh This is Love God loves me then right after Hate comes then God hates me...He is destroying me, the Whore, He picked me out to be a whore and to be destroyed, He is Lord of all after all...to fight those images, those internal beliefs, that are not just fleeting but Deep, to the Core, the I am evil, to really fight that level of darkness, to Know one is evil because yes, I have chose and done evil and hated God, many times...the God whom I believed, made me a Whore...who for Years believed she was a daughter of the Mother of Harlots,


and Religion only confirmed that, time and time again.


Even when I KNEW acting the whore was wrong, years later I still would because that was what I was worth, Any act of Kindness, Any, I would grovel for...something so deep and primitive, from prior abuse, betrayal, lies, including from some Christian men, see a Whore, can be mistreated because she is Predestined for it, don't you see,


that was what God made her for.


To know that, to believe that, is near impossible to free oneself from and Really believe different...and the Shame, the Shame of it, is not so easily erased, worse, is to See how the Lord God in Bible would give women and girls Over to that, and in OT He did, and What did they do?  Nothing, they were just


girls/women.


Who had the unfortunate lot of being born to the wrong parents, fathers, society...or taken in war, even women taken as wives in a dance, young girls, I can guarantee you they never danced again.  No woman does, when she is raped and forced, no woman does...a marriage certificate does not erase her sale into lifetime of being a man's owned whore.


A whore cannot just ignore these questions, they are a PART OF HER, JESUS, THE POWERFUL LORD GOD, IS NOT A 'FRIEND TO HER', only sometimes, does she see Glimpses,


only sometimes...it's not like we are Mary in His physical presence and We didn't hear what HE really had to say and what WE get, is a Bible that is disputable, written by MEN who HATED WOMEN...who thought All women were evil, were Whores,


so to Know, is to fight through the darkness, Which Image do I worship Jesus, why you mention one in Revelations, I have known hundred, which one?  Even the religious ones, which One Jesus,


what is the Image, what is the Beast, I have known many....how does one know, because many come even claiming to know YOU JESUS, to SPEAK FOR YOU.


turns into Which Voice, which is God and which is Vampire...and a Heart, of Stone, waits, for a House, that may not welcome Her....













More on this later...

5 comments:

Mara Reid said...

Jane,
I read the original poem, the whore's rage and remember what is says about being portrayed in literature as men want to portray her and not as she is.
I've kept that in mind.

Then I slowly remembered Man of La Mancha, and was wanting your opinion.

Does this song come close to expressing a whore's rage?
Does it get anything right?
What does it get wrong?
Note: she is angry most with the man who can't see (due to madness) that she is a whore.

http://wwwyoutube.com/watch?v=5zDWid3GQq8

The name of the youtube video is Aldonza, in case I got the link wrong.

Mara Reid said...

The musical is based on the Don Quixote story (guy who jousts with windmills).

http://en.qikipedia.org/wiki/Man_of_La_Mancha

She has just been raped and abuse by a group of men and Quixote wants to avenge her thinking she's his lady rather than a whore.

JaneDoeThreads said...

"Does this song come close to expressing a whore's rage?
Does it get anything right?
What does it get wrong?
Note: she is angry most with the man who can't see (due to madness) that she is a whore."

wow,

I don't even know how to respond to this right now, seeing the video, all I could think was that old man, being Jesus,

and I saw everything she said, not just the whore part, but the sinner part...

and how He saw her, righteous

[see what I wrote today]

so, uh, ok will have to absorb this one.

I did read the story synopsis on wiki , I've never read any of his works, one classic author I haven't read, heard of, but not read, I think he really saw her that way, a lady, her humanity,

she, could not, I think the rage is from the time and time and time, being ripped away, it does something to you inside.

In all fairness, and I touched on this a bit in one post, I was not a prostitute, though I did similar, for me it was one man then later another man, not many men a day, and for me it was the lies involved,

where as in prostitution it's [be it pimp or trafficked, etc and I think there are differences there too] the exchange of money and there may be lies of some men who Think they love her, maybe they want to love someone but she's not able because there's never been love, just rape, so the type of damage, though similar, is very different, in some ways, and I think this differs among women, why they get into that work, or how, etc., because each situ/person is different, the prostitute may come away with more sense of herself because her abuse Wasn't tied into Lies of Love,

where as the whore, will give herself away/or be molded into to do so, due to abuse, wanting Love, it's not about money exchange Though it Turns into that, after enough damage is done and then she's to the belief that all she is is body so why not, so there is a process there, but my point is, with the whore/or what the world terms as a 'slut' today, the Bible used whore/harlot, the harlot was the prostitute, the whore was the one who would sell her self for love, power, whichever, she in fact I think is more demonized but Both, are in that place because of either force, sexual abuse/child abuse, lies of men, etc., so it's hard for me to explain, I guess the whore is psychologically coerced and the prostitute physically forced, or coerced/via economics, both used and abused by men though,

so the anger I think is the same But also different. Does that make sense? The effects of disconnect are I know the same, the self image are the same though they may differ or manifest differently,

and some of the acceptance and what I call 'false empowerment', that whole I'm really just a goddess that men love, is really a lie to deal with the reality of like this woman in video says, born on dung and died on dung, just dung to be raped and abused...so they create an illusion to deal--I have known prostitutes who do this. It's a mental survival,

but whores can do this too. So--that man, crazy, could really be telling what he sees as truth,

she however, can't see herself that way, because it's near impossible, I think it takes a lot of healing/deliverance, but That too, depends on what the Age is, of the woman when her abuse begins...

I don't have answers to that one.

JaneDoeThreads said...

I have been dealing with these things for 40 something years, for many years I thought I was over all of it, I did, the whole goddess thing but for me, it was the Lie of 'well it's empowering to not care and to just not feel', because deep down that was better than feeling the horrible pain,

so yea, come to think of it, when Jesus started dealing with me here, I like that woman, Did get furious with Him, still do,

especially, in light of the fact that in the Bible, it says, He is Lord of all things, is the one who controls, puts us in this or that, so yea, on that, I had some real issues, still do, esp with hating Him, because with me, it started in early childhood, when I was not even aware of what a whore was--I was told, and treated and forced to hear, believe, that I was a whore.

So, it's like, yea, I was born to be that, whether I wanted it or not...so then, like to hear others, or Jesus say you're a woman of God and it's like, you're a damn liar,

and it Is cruel, it Is like a type of mocking, to do this shit, then to turn and say, oh but you're not this anymore or you're a lady,

and to just think one can erase all that [and to think that one can say, Sure God, you put me into this due to your Lordship but Hey, that's ok, I'm just Fine now], yea, it don't work like that,

and then throw love in there and I know, for me, many times, I just wanted to kill,

so...yea I can relate, at the same time, seeing this video, makes me see Jesus telling me what this man says and I just cry,

it goes back and forth...it Really triggers, in my marriage, there has been numerous times, I have hated God, because I see Him as the ultimate pimp,

I know that's horrible, but that's truth. And when I read, or esp hear, anyone say, well God is in control and God has His reasons and that in me just drives me to all sorts of dark things,

why I don't do the whole submission discourses very well, because it's Always, the John and the Prostitute for me...the being compliant, force or manipulation or inner force, for me it was an inner coercion even though against my true desire, if that makes sense? I guess I should just tell my story, it might make more sense...I was taught how to be a whore first by my mother then by men...I wish, actually I Had of been a prostitute instead, and charged money--rather than the slow evolution into,

I think, for me personally, I would have come away less screwed up--but I am sure, they would argue differently.

I'm still working through so much of this...

Jane

JaneDoeThreads said...

Mara, I think prostitutes are killed off faster inside, than whores, that I do know,

but they aren't killed off with Believing, they are loved, or that it Might turn into love,

where as with the whore, which for me it started as rape, molestation better word for it, which right there, I immediately had my sexual self autonomy stolen and my body was not my own, it was my mother's. So yea...then with the verbal, and it was always the you want to screw him or you're a whore this and even as a virgin, [outside of her abuse] I knew I was a whore--and sure enough, my first crush, he tried to rape me, nearly succeeded, then my first husband/after I ran away from home, who wasn't a husband, just this older man I turned to, he let me live with him, of course I felt obligated, I did have a crush on him, he took advantage then beat me all the time, so much for saving my virginity for marriage, [which I did believe in God then] and then after I ran away from him, it didn't matter anymore, I was what my mother told me and I lived it...so you see, it's a little different from prostitution but not different,

because the relationships I did get into, were due to economics, exchange, I didn't really love, I don't think I ever did really, a few I loved but they used me, so I guess, writing this out, I was a prostitute I just didn't charge hourly fee, which is worse to me because I wasn't even worth That much. Sad,

but it's still different, from like a teen going into to survive or one for drugs or one who is forced, so yea, in so many ways it's the same, but in ways it's different,

and because we are NOT heard, I think there is still a lot of not understanding even among women like me. There is a hierarchy even among whores/prostitutes/sex workers, and that all gets a tad confusing too, like how to explain the rage, etc., I don't think, I guess what I am saying,

that our rage is identical, similar but also different.

It's like we are trash, ok, and like, some of us trash, get used a bit more kind, or maybe crumpled and another burned or crushed, some trash might even be recycled a few times, more than other trash, but in the end,

we all get thrown away....

so in that, the rage yes, is the same, because the One and Ones who make us trash,

all feel the same and treat us all the same...

so then for one of them, to come [or the Lord of them all, though He may not do evil, he created evil and ordains this or that, for whatever Reason, to us trash we don't give a damn about the Reason, the damage is too far gone],

and to come and say oh but you're a lady or you are loved,

it's absurdity to me, to us, I think...Especially, when we are required to keep, putting out,

that's the most laughable of all. So like, then it's the hearing, well it's different now, you're married, for Us inside,

it's Never, different. No matter how much, they say they love us. Men don't want to see this, I think, often times, they don't care too, I also think, for them, it's like a badge of 'hey, I got the whore now so I'm so much better because I kept her and I turned her into a lady, so it's Still about the Male Ego, and the thing is, they are in ways, yes, worse than the Johns...because their lust, is no different,

and the thing is, we, trash, if I can be honest, can see that in them.

The Only reason, I can deal with Jesus, is that He gave His body on the cross for me, that's the One thing, that keeps me connected to Him, how He reached me, and it was yea, in His showing me, how He, suffered in the same b.d.s.m. type of way, for Me,

why I can inner connect with Him, I cannot, with a man no matter what he would say and never will. And it's still hard with Jesus too...

Jane